Are JW Kids Worse Disproportionately?

by patio34 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • patio34

    In a conversation with my son, we were going over all the young people he grew up with that were JWs. There seemed to be an inordinate proportion of felons among them, compared to the "worldly" people in his school. And also compared to the people at work that i know whose kids are doing fine now.

    Our tentative theory is that raising kids as JWs can be very damaging to many of them. The regular activities that help kids such as sports, academics, etc. are closed off to most JWs. Then adding the strict busy routine they are compelled to follow, that many just go off the deep end.

    Has any one else noticed this or is it just a local occurrence here?

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    My son's observation is the the same. That is one reason why he doesn't want too much to do with the borg now. He says most of the Jdub youths were no better or even worse than "worldly" youths. My observation to is that most of the jdub youths live double lives. One at the Kingdom Hall and the other at home/school.


    "I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."
    Mark Twain

  • Marilyn

    Pat I hope you caught my reply to you from yesterday? With your observations about Bible principals you could also add that raising kids strickly according to the Bible probably does more harm than good. I know my sister has been quite devistated that her daughter left home at age 15 so she wouldn't have to be subjected to life as a JW. As my kids (aged 24 and 22) don't seem the least bit interested in leaving home, I'm thinking of introducing some Bible principals into this house or else I'll never get rid of them! Just kidding.

    When reading your post I thought more about all the so called misconduct that I've heard about in my old congregation and district since I left the troof 20 yrs ago. There seems to have been a disprotionate amount of naughties naughties going on inside the Org compared to other people I know.

    I guess one could say "it's all happening in the Org."!


  • Abaddon

    The problem, I think, is the skill Dubbie kids develop in leading two lives.

    Almost all do it to some extent or the other, even if it's down to just keeping their masturbation a secret, rather than admitting it as they should and receieving guidance and council. Obviously with most, having wordly friends, not appearing like a freak at school, taking part in unapproved activities secretly rather than not at all, and keeping one's innermost thought secret are additonal behaviours that are developed.

    'Wordly' kids obviously might have to develop the same skills. For a Dubbie kid it's almost essential for sanity.

    Obviously, most kids keep their maturbation a secret, but doing so isn't 'wrong' to them.

    The abilty to conceal wrong thus develops from an early age. JW kids are trained to lie, as they have to to survive.

    This development of an ability to deceive one's parents so as to be able to attain 'normal' goals in life can carry on as a habit, even outside the cult.

    Some xJW's find it easy to carry on deceiving people to achieve their goals. Even after being removed from an environment where deception to attain normality is almost compulsory, this habit of deception can be carried over to where one uses it to attain whatever a goal might be, rather than just attaining some semblance of normality. The goal becomes the focus, regardless of means.

    I doubt if I'm the only xJW with a criminal record. I was stupid, and commited fraud to finance my study at University. I thought I had no other way of escaping, as everything I had went to my x-wife and kids, and the fact it was wrong was not important enough to me at the time to stop me doing it. My goal was more important than my means.

    I gave myself up after three years and did Community Service, as I didn't want it hanging over me, and had recovered enough of a moral framework to realise I had done something that I actually strongly disapproved of.

  • Prisca

    I must have been a boring goody-two-shoes. So must have most of my friends growing up, as the ones I knew well never did anything illegal nor deceitful.

    There must be something good about country life.

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    well pris, maybe they just didnt TELL you what they were up to.
    I know I lived a double life as a clean cut dub by day and a homicidal maniac by nite.
    So did all the young dubs in my congo. At least the ones I hung out with.

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    Ive gone down to my brothers for the evening and still cant stay away!

  • Marilyn

    Abaddon, I so enjoy your perspecitve on things. Your post describes Duncan's role playing beautifully. Though I myself was a convert in my teens - and I was quite a self assured kid (you know the type that has no real basis for confidence but has it anyway?) - and I don't recall trying to cover up my dubdom tendencies. But I think if I'd been raised in the troof, things might have been different.


  • DanTheMan

    I became a dub as a 22 year old. One of the things that worked on me over the years was seeing how screwed up the kids in the congs were. I knew that if I had been raised as a JW, I never would have made it. Too much hypocrisy.

  • patio34

    Dear William Penwell,That was the same type of observation we made. Except we came to the conclusion that the JW kids were worse off than the worldly kids. The evidence was that, say, 25% were felons, which is much higher than the slice of worldly kids in that general age/economic/social strata.

    Marilyn LOL!

    As my kids (aged 24 and 22) don't seem the least bit interested in leaving home, I'm thinking of introducing some Bible principals into this house or else I'll never get rid of them!
    I did catch your reply to me in Englishman's thread, but was tooo tired to respond last nite. I enjoyed it.

    AbaddonGood points about the double-life skills. That's another thing my son and I discussed was that "normal" so-called worldly kids are free to go out and catch a dance, football game, etc. But when the JW kids sneak out, maybe late, there are no good things to do. They are forced into this sort of situation.

    PriscaWhy couldn't I have kids like you??

    Refiners fireAt least you didn't get tossed in the slammer!

    DanthemanAnother perspective that seems to reflect the situation around my area. We had a speaker from Los Angeles a couple of years back who asserted that the leaving rate of kids in the LA area was about 85%.

    Have a great Friday (TGIF!)

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