payback? bitterly upset.... (page 2)

MMXIV

It's a terrible thing you've gone through. you'll never get payback though, you cannot win in their twisted world. Ignore them and you remove their power. Your life now isn't about getting even it's about enjoying your freedom. Channel the energy into rebuilding your life. Your kids will respond to a successful role model far more than a dad who makes them attend boring meetings. Enjoy your revenge in every xmas, every birthday, every piece of materialism, every cleverly placed question you ask your kids. Peace

Simon

It does take time and there is no quick or easy fix but things do get better with time. I know that sounds cliche but I've 'lived it' myself - lost family and friends but now have some really special close friends and kind of 'surrogate family' (theirs, LOL) plus other family that I previously was out of contact with.

Lots of us know what you're going through and it does help to talk to people and open up about what you're going through.

sarahsmile

I understand your mad but who applied for the divorce?

Make sure that the children have the right to visit other faiths.

The elders will lie in court so be careful.

I know someone who got disfellowshipped and lost custody and rights to see the child all because of spouse lied. In the long run it was the spouse that got custudy who cheated but did not get dfd. The other one was made out like a bad parent and got dfd.

No matter what it is a bummer when people confess their sins just to have sins put out there among elders in letters.

It happens.

Did you know that only your orginal elders are to know why you got dfd? Those are the elders you confessed and that is it.

No letters are to ever state your sins. I really hate elders.

lost

oh dear, oh dear, big big hugs.

it's an awful awful place to be, my heart so goes out to you.

But - it's not all bad .......... you ... are... free now. The tables have turned.

You are in charge.

You have the power.

You have the control.

you take that bull by the horns girl and you ride the living day lights out of it as hard as you can.

don't take no more shit off no one no more. don't let them still control you.

You hubby (ex?) is not your problem no more, you will find a really good man and be able to enjoy the rest of your life, how it should be lived.

Your children you have saved them, good woman, your doing a brilliant job.

you got to be strong, you got to be assertive, even a little aggressive, you got to be a little bit selfish, you got to be a little bit hard, you got to be a little bit cold.

you got to survive now, you and your kids come first.

Draw up your battle plan, be ruthless, do not deviate, do not be tricked or decieved no more by no one.

you got to be iron lady, or your gonna get squashed like a bug.

Don't take your kids no more, and make their father come to the house, make him work, work, work.

Straighten your back, chin up and out, and be proud, very very proud. You will get there.

much love

breakfast of champions

At this point in time, don't worry about payback or vengeance.

Worry about you!

Talking to a psychologist who specializes in abuse (because that what has happened to you) will help sort things out. Then you will be in a better position to help your kids, and you may even reasess the idea of vengeance (even though I KNOW it feels really good right now!)

Best,

BOC

clarity

{{{Losingit}}} ....actually you are finding it! Congratulations!

>

Lovely words of wisdom on here for you. Hang in there.

>

One thing that you can really be so happy about ... is that

your children are still young & innocent. Rejoice in that.

>

You are still young ... maybe 25 30 35? So many years left to

recoupe your loss .... those elders will still be wasting their lives,

while you consciously move forward to the real life you were born

to enjoy. Rejoice in that.

>

"An entire belief system DEAD, my entire family GONE, all of my friends DISAPPEARED"

>

This is the harsh reality of a cult. They should be run out of town!

>

Don't let them win OK. That belief system should be dead.

Your family may be gone today ... but you have ..tomorrow!

Those friends were only temporary. Ordered to be your friend.

Commanded to shun you now! Conditional friends!

You will soon have friends who love you

>

You are in a position now to think, do and be your best.

Don't waste another minute ... take a deep breath & put one

foot ahead of the other..........................................

clarity

sarahsmile

Just remember this organization is evil.

If you think you can make these elders lives miserable with what ever, Think again. Elders like custody battles and will be in that court room standing against you.

Make sure you have the best attorney.

What I know is they will lie about you and mark you as brazen. Make you look like an unfit mother.

I am just saying it is not what you know but what you do not know.

What is your exhusband not telling you?

Roberta804

Losingit,

Thinking of some creative revenge? Check out this website. If your going to have to go to the meetings, you might as well have some fun.

http://www.internationalspyshop.com/special-ingredients-revenge.aspx

Mum

I hope you have a strong attorney. You have a right to your own religious beliefs or non-religious beliefs.

Your ex might try to intimidate you into indoctrinating your children. If they wish to go to the KH, I would take them, sit with them silently, then go out for a nice afternoon in the park and/or to a special meal at home or in a restaurant. If they want to talk about the meeting or JW stuff, just tell them you disagree, why you disagree, and that they have a right to choose for themselves what they believe.

The important thing is how your children feel when they are with you. If they feel you are fighting their father, it will not make for a happy atmosphere. What children remember is how they felt with the people they grew up with. What is between you and your husband should have no effect whatsoever on the children.

Painted Toenail, a poster here, recommended some books for children to teach them critical thinking. They are available from Amazon. They are called Blast of Logic (grades 3-4), Logic Liftoff (grades 4-6) and Orbiting with Logic (grades 5-7). For teenagers, she recommended Critical Thinking by Anita Harnadek. I have not seen these books personally, but I plan to buy them for my great granddaughter when she is old enough.

Do what makes you happy. Help your kids learn to make themselves happy and to think for themselves. Best wishes.

losingit

You are going to grieve over all those wasted years, wasted hopes of course. Your husband is never going to be the man you needed him to be. The elders will continue to be oblivious.

I have finally accepted the reality that my husband is never going to be the man I needed him to be. I held on for so long, through all the turmoil. I so desperately wanted my marriage and my family. I made a vow. I wanted to stick to it. I now have no choice but to abandon it. Yes, I am grieving. However, in an odd twisted way, I see his hurtful actions as a blessing. He continues to prove who he really is, and I can continue to let go.

While I refer to him as my husband, we are separated. We are headed towards a divorce. I cannot take him back, as much as it hurts. Custody issues scare me, which is why I am trying to get reinstated. Right now, they spend the majority of their time with me. Funny, I always thought he was such an excellent father. He can't bother to even call to say goodnight now. It depresses me. Now I see he was an excellent father because I made him so, not because he really was one.

payback? bitterly upset....

Share this