Nervous / shy following judicial committee

ekruks

I wondered if anyone else has been rather shy since a judicial committee?

I have been before more than one on false charges, and since have really struggled not to get incredibly nervous if I have any similar meeting with people, such as a review at work, a job interview, even a visit to the doctors. I get so uncomfortable, I forget what I planned to say, want to leave, often vomit before such a meeting, forget how to speak up clearly, can't remember my phone number, etc. and remember the intense stress of those judicials. I was always a little nervous before talks, ministry etc., but I managed to control it, but this is more.

How do you guys get over this? Having been a JW is ruining my getting of with life beyond it - things like job review/interviews are important. I think it must be some kind of anxiety problem like many on here mention.

hoser

it's called post traumatic stress disorder

jgnat

Good news, post traumatic stress disorder is temporary. You might need some help from a counsellor to work it out.

LisaRose

I agree, it can be PTSD. Having three powerful (in the congregation) men sit in judgement on you is a very traumatizing experience. Whenever you get in a similar situation where someone is judging you, you flashback to the JC, and how horrible it was. I was just reading a book on introversion, for those of us who are introverted, these things can be even more traumatic. It has to do with brain chemistry and the amygdala,the primitive part of the brain, some people just react more to strangers, or unusual situations. If that is your problem, you can counteract it by using the more developed part of your brain, use self talk, keep telling yourself you can do it, you are relaxed, you are powerful. Do practice interviews with someone you feel comfortable with. I have found it gets better the older you get.

Londo111

I remember I lived my judical commitee (and appeal) over and over again in my mind. Time and learning TTATT helped me overcome much of the PTSD.

ekruks

Having been before more than one judicial, it's probably Complex PTSD. I go for walks in the country, etc. I think I must get some therapy or something. The state provides free help, but one of the counsellors is a brother, so I don't feel comfortable there - I think his colleagues may talk to him, somehow he'll realise it's me, could tell them what I say is not true, could just get more stressful.

jgnat, how temporary did you find it? I've been like this for a couple of years now.

It's sad but also reassuring that others feel this way too. I break out in a sweat remembering the judicials, sometimes can't sleep, really struggle sometimes to interact with people at work some days (they just think I'm very quiet), feel I should just stay single to I die even though all I want it to find a nice girl and have some kids. I don't think people outside of this forum realise how much our cult experience has messed us up and how hard it is to live a 'normal' life.

There is nothing wrong with disciplining people for their errors, but the judicial wasn't done in such a way to help me improve myself, it was more to get me out the congregation (I felt I should mention to the body of elders of a sin I caught an elder committing, but the strong character got them to hush it up).

The judicial gives brothers incredible power - they can make you spiritually-dead, taking away family, friends, everything you know. Some brothers to, despite the image of spiritual caring shepherd, can be very arrogant strong characters that seem without any empathy, but just window cleaners drunk on power - some of them got so angry in the judicial that they were red in face; no Christian love to help correct the lost sheep! Yes, I am an introvert, so this long display of intense aggression was probably harder for me to face.

It's the brothers lying that really got to me, after you put so much trust in them then they go and invent some false charge. Then nightmare when I appealed as they had no evidence and got nasty phone calls and an aggressive visit to my home, but won. After which they tried again on another false charge. It was so corrupt; bunch of gangsters. All that conflicting with the idea the spirit leads them, as if Jehovah, God himself, must be angry with you, think you are bad - really messes with the mind, destroys confidence.

jgnat

I've never had PTSD, thank goodness. Unless you count the trauma of overcoming an abusive husband. Two years to something like normalcy, and over ten years for recovery.

I have family members with chronic mental illness and their fears will never go away. So from my tragic perspective, yours sounds do-able.

Crazyguy

Now that i know TTATT and have become very knowlegeable about the bible during my learning of TTATT, that if i was in a judicial meeting in the future, i would come out guns blazing in a nice Jesus kind of way and wipe the floor with them. The bible truly does set one free.

whathappened

I would never give the elders the dignity of appearing befor one of their sham judicial committes. They are a bunch of loser mid level cult members, that is all they are.

zeb

Hoser et al. quite correct find a counsellor. Your doctorm should be able to direct you to a good one. Sounds like your confidence has had a beating.

Peace.

Nervous / shy following judicial committee

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