Being a jw almost killed

moley

This is the first time i've commented on this site, but i do enjoy to come here just to help clarify myself in times of need, ie when those wretched teachings resurface. A bit about myself.
I was born in 1970 into the wonderful happy organisation (lol) and had a unremarkable childhood or so i thought (apart from being abused by an MS), all i can remember is being terrified of dying at armageddon. Attending 5 meetings a week and being used to preach as people wont shout at a child, studying the literature, not being able to watch popular tv shows, no xmas, birthdays the usual shit.
Fast forward to age 16 and i fell in love with a worldly girl (the horror) and got her pregnant, my parents were devasted talking all the time how people in the borg would view them, nothing about what i was going thru, 16 and becoming a father, quite a big thing to me. To cut a long story shut i was disaccociated as i was not baptised at the time and the baby never happened (miscarriage) and the relationship ended much to my parents delight on both issues (pretty heartless) but i was free and led the life most normal teenagers do. Fast forward to age 21, I was becoming increassingly disorganised and depressed and one day i picked up a watchtower (my parents were good at leaving them around the place), the article i read was "Return to me and i will return to you", reading of the loving provision within the borg and i was hooked. But i knew something was wrong. Bible study with mental elder who loved to quote daniels prophecies, baptised, engaged, married, the perfect jw couple, how the congregation rejoiced and those in the heavens.
But something was wrong. I would go for long walks on my own and cry for hours, once again the small child terrified of displeasing god. When ever i tried to talk to the loving shepards all they said was praymore, do more service, attend all meetings blah blah. My wife was a lovely person (we even had oral sex, Gasp) but something was missing.
At the age of 28 i decided i wanted a carrer and decided to train as a nurse and would have to go to uni, um not a place for a good jw. It was while at uni that my whole world collapsed, had a breakdown and ended up in a psychiatric hospital and diagnosed as bi-polar (things start to add up for me). The loving shepard visited me once, their advice, pray, preach, go to meetings, you cant trust what the docs say as their views are worldly. I used to hear voices only to be told that it was the demons attacking, just what i needed to hear. Released from hospital and treated like leper by the loving congregation, tried to kill myself-judicial comitee. As time went on i stopped going to meetings met someone, had an affair and got Df'ed and people i had known my whole life shunned me even some crossing the road when they saw me, this still happens.
Suprisingly my parents still talked to me till i ended up in hospital again (couple more suicide attempts) and my dad councilled me, pray etc. The docs suggested i moved in with my parents as i was a danger to myself, which they reluctantly agreed to after much prayer. About three weeks later my dad came home and said "after speaking to the elders WE feel that you cannot stay here as this is a family that follows god and your mental problems are an effect of not following gods word and also acussed me of attention seeking. My dad drove me into Plymouth (as they lived in a small village) with my belongings and dropped me off in the street and drove off. That was over ten years ago, and havent had any contact since.
Needless to say hospital beckoned once more, when i left hospital again i was living in a homeless shelter, but that wasnt the problem it was the fact that i had been so utterly and completely brainwashed i used to have nightmares of the big A, felt so alone without the congregation and even contemplated going back. While i was at the shelter i met a christian group who help the homeless and they were great, some were so skilled in the bible that i soon began to realise what an evil organisation the WBTS were.
Although now i profess to having no religion i cant thank them enough. After another visit to hospital these truer christians rallied round and not once did they try to push their teachings on me and managed to find me a place in sheltered housing where i began to rebuild my life.
On a trip to the pub i met a lovely girl, who is now my wife and she was a tremendous help, i've always been open about my life and this sometimes scares people off but bettter to be upfront then peddaling lies. With her support i applied to uni to do a marine biology course which i had wanted to do for years and have now just completed it and i start a new job in 2 weeks as a trainee manager in a pub. I now have real friends, those that wont go if we dont agree and i am HAPPY something i never felt in the borg.
Im terribly sorry for my ramblings but have needed to do this just to get it out. I just want people to know that there is life after the jw cult and it is difficult but the end reward is worth it. Im FREE and im Happy.

Tylinbrando

Welcome! Thanks for sharing your story. Sounds like you have landed on your feet. Best wishes to you and your loved ones.

Phizzy

Thanks so much for sharing your story, and for baring your soul. I hope it helps some for youto put it down in writing.

I am speechless at the treatment you got from your parents, well not really speechless, I just cannot say what I want to without breaching posting guidelines !

Suffice to say that it shows just what an evil mind-bending cult the W T is.

I am gald you have received help from some real christians and that you have a diagnosis of your condition, which is controllable to the point of being virtually no bother, please take the advice of the experts, and follow the treatment, they do know what they are doing, unlike the WT's clueless Elders.

Your future is looking bright ! I am glad, and one day we may meet, I have been known to drop in to the odd Pub now and again ! (Real Ale preferred)

All the best to you and your lady.

happy@last

Wecome moley, wow, what an intro! I'm so pleased you have had the necessary help you needed, and have met someone who supports you. The scars the WT leaves can often pain us, but I am so pleased they have no hold on you and you are enjoying life.

wasblind

Welcome Molely

We all go through transitional periods through out our lives

There's nothin' better than havin' friends and family that stay by your side

through these times

It's a shame that is somethin' Jehovah's Witnesses are discouraged to do

Here's to freedom and happiness

sir82

With her support i applied to uni to do a marine biology course which i had wanted to do for years and have now just completed it and i start a new job in 2 weeks as a trainee manager in a pub.

Welcome.

So, how much will you charge for a pint of sardines?

Heartofaboy

Riveting account of what happened to you moley.

Just when the JW's should step up to the mark & show the 'Christian' within them they let you down don't they moley?

Happy to have the excuse that you would be bad association they avidly prove their 'faith' by cutting you off & shunning you.

Their behaviour is completely opposite to what Jesus would've done. They are like the pharisees with rules about everything. They would rather turn their back on your needs & cross over to walk on the far side of the road.

Their leaders in Brooklyn, too proud & stiff necked to be 'christian', resemble the pharisees weighing the sheeples down with more & more rules, making unreasonable demands on their tme until there is no room to have empathy for another human's need.

Glad you found this forum.

Hoab

jean-luc picard

Thank you for sharing your very touching story with us, and please dont be " sorry for rambling on".

Though the jws probably think you are a weak person and that is the reason for all your past troubles,

in reality you are a very strong person, who was able to come through, despite everything.

I wish you every luck and a very happy future in your new job.

jlp

jgnat

Being diagnosed bi-polar is bad enough without the horrible advice heaped on you and your parents. Demons indeed. You come across as a very loving person. You've never stopped loving all the women in your life, have you?

LisaRose

Welcome, thanks for sharing your story. Wow, you have been through a lot. For your parents to reject you because you have mental health issues is unconscionable, that is not what good parents do. It doesn't surprise me me though , the organization extremely backwards when it comes to mental health, most elders are completely ignorant about it. I am glad you finally found some caring people to help you out. Keep it up, forget your heartless parents and get on with your life.

Being a jw almost killed

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