Competition for our resident Messiahs

by irondork 10 Replies latest social humour

  • irondork
    irondork

    What do our resident Messiahs have to say when another Messiah encroaches on the claim?

    http://naijamayor.com/south-african-man-claims-to-be-jesus/

    May 22, 3013

    A 48-year-old man claims to be Jesus and that he came back to save the world.

    Phetole Selepe, from Dan village, South Africa, claims he is Jesus Christ and was sent by his ancestors to save the world.

    Selepe has been living on the banks of the Letaba River which is located in the Eastern Limpopo Province of South Africa, since 2004, where he performed his rituals.

    Although he was arrested more than eight times, the local municipality was unable to evict him. He seems to be “untouchable,” as he claims to be protected by a large water snake.

    He thinks he can bring people back from the dead and that one day he will lead his people to Canaan and wash their sins. Selepe, who goes by many different identities, said he used one of his names, Molalatladi, to control the world.

    “He is not the first to make that claim. In the past, many people have claimed, either by themselves or by their followers, to be Jesus or the Second Coming of Christ. If he is really Jesus why does he have a rap sheet?” Rebecca McNeil, 63, of Kent, England told YourJewishNews.com after hearing about Selepe’s Jesus claim. Selepe claims he realized he was Jesus in 1999!

    “I was told to leave my family and come here to help the poor and those who are suffering,” Selepe said. “I’m not allowed to be with a woman and I can only eat bread, fish and bananas,” he added.

  • still thinking
  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    And don't forget all those who figured in "Life of Brian", of course, Brian himself was not the Messiah at all, but "just a very naughty boy".

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    I decided to run for Messiah months ago. False pretenders are welcome. My god powers can zap them out anytime. I tolerate their existence b/c people will see I am the true Messiah by the contrasts between us. Woe to those who do not worship me!

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    I'm just a lad from a council house estate in an uninteresting city. It's about time I became someone other than a mundane nobody like the rest of humanity.

    I know.............I'll become the messiah!

    Wow! I'll be someone instead of the no one I actually am.

    Thanks Irondork............................wow.......................I'm so great!

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    I am going to run my campaing the way Mike Bloomberg did for Mayor. Expect nice gifts from me. Also, robocalls from famous Bible personages, such as Abraham, Noah, Jacob, Joshua, David, the first Jesus, Paul, James, and Peter.

  • talesin
    talesin

    I am here to testify! BOTR is the new Messiah, miracles will ensue.

    I saw a vision , and loh, it was good! Here's a picture of a large gathering of BOTR's followers.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    "Today on Oprah; 10 guys who all claim to be Jesus!"

    Well, for starters, you know that at least 9 of them are full of shit...

  • JWB
  • AnnOMaly

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit