The congregation you are dealing with must be exceptional. I wish that were the case universally, but unfortunately it is not. It is very common here where I live for the elders to encourage sisters to leave their unbelieving mates, even more so if the mate is an apostate. In fact, JWs here with unbelieving mates are not regularly included in social activities, are the last picked for car groups. My mother-in-law has been in the congregation over 45+ years, when her non-believing hubbie died they were nice enough to do the memorial at the KH, but only a handful of Witnesses attended-mostly non-Witness relatives and neighbors. One would think she deserved a little more emotional support than that. I used to believe these kinds of things only happend in our little berg, but in talking to others it happens more often than not. Any way you look at it, unethical things happen, people are hurt....I'm not participating in any 'take the WT down' activities and don't have a spiteful vendetta, other than I walked away almost three years ago and haven't looked back - mostly because of 'little' things like this. Couldn't handle the discouragement.
I wish you peace,