New Here... Just Saying Hi ...Getting to know

by Prisila 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Joyzabel

    Welcome to the board Prisila,

    Allow yourself time to relax and get to know everyone here. There is plenty of time and no urgency anymore.


  • Gopher


    Here's a whole list of stories of people who came out of the JW organization. Just click on this link:

    Hope that may help.

    -J.R., member, UADNA-MN
    (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Minnesota division)

    This post was not evaluated by any mental health professionals.
    Any opinions expressed are those of a fuzzy, cuddly rodent.

  • dmouse

    Saying Hi back...and welcome to the board!

    Tarry a while and share your story.

    Best regards,

  • Angharad

    Hi Prisila

  • Prisila

    Hello To everyone!!!!!

    Here's my long Bio . . .
    Thank you for sharing. I need to know someone made it out in one piece. Thank you! So have you been DF or DA?

    Here's my bio:
    My JW experiences are mostly all good. I was never hurt by anyone inside. I've just began to doubt the fundamental beliefs.

    I'm 28. My Mom started studying when I was 5. I got baptized at 13. My father is "worldly" to this day. He was I believe it's called (I'm from Spanish Congregation) an opposer. He beat my mother so she wouldn't go and we did anyway. He threatened to burn the Kingdom Hall. He was violent toward JWs. So my Mom has ALWAYS been considered sort of like a martyr, she's a pioneer now. She's always been held in high regard for being sooooo spiritual and devout. My Mom is sooo devout many new bible students have at times thought she was one of 144,000. HA! That's because they don't know her personally.

    I followed her footsteps. I became a pioneer when I was 14. I had parts in Circuit and District conventions. I was always used as an example. Before I got married I hung out with people that had their experiences in the Awake and Watchtower. One of them, I practically lived with. They had their experience published in 1989 Awake, I think. My whole life revolved around preaching and being the best JW I could be. I loved it and I truly loved Jehovah. I have extremely fond memories of being a Pioneer.

    My husband's family started studying and moved to our congregation. I was about 12. At this time my "worldly" father started studying and became very involved . . . it was perfect. I thought things couldn't be better. My husband's family excelled and got baptized. He got baptized at the age of 16. I was 15. He started pioneering and I had been for a while. We eventually fell in love and got engaged when I was 16. We got married a week after I turned 18. My father stopped studying at this time. But he still believes to this day that this is the truth, as weird as that sounds. He loves that we are all witnesses but he won't commit. My husband and I kept strong together. We wanted to serve where there was a need. But I started to have my reservations.

    My husband's family: mother and father brother and sister are Witnesses. His father an elder his mother a pioneer. My brother-in-law is kind of iffy. But we don't dare talk about it or to him . . . too taboo. In 1995 my husband decided to move to the outskirts of LA County, in California. We live in a city an hour away from Los Angeles. At this time we started a family and had twins. They are going to be 7 now. In 1998, we started attending college to learn about computers. Turned out we LOVED it and we began to get more involved in a higher education secretly. We have hid it from the congregation as much as we could. I am working towards being a lawyer and my husband towards an accountant. People question why we haven't finished? When we will be done? Why we still go? We both graduated last June with our AA degrees. As much as the Watchtower says it's a thing of "conscious," many frown upon a higher education, especially the Hispanic congregations. We were called irresponsible and foolish. There's no time we are in the "last days." I lie all the time saying I want to be a teacher. My husband says he's going for enrichment. A few select no I want to be a lawyer. Nobody knows my husband is going to be an Accountant, he has sworn me to secrecy because he's an elder.

    Interestingly when we both began to attend college we started taking the same classes and began with the same Major. A year and a half after we started taking classes we went our separate ways academically. During this time we kept on as JWs. We both had developed doubts and never spoke of them to each other until about 6 months ago. We were each dealing with our own confusion and too scared to approach the other. We finally talked about it and it was sooo freeing. After 2 1/2 yrs of tormenting myself I finally voiced my doubts and to my great surprise my husband completely supported me. It was amazing.

    We talked for hours. With a heavy feeling of betrayal, we talked about what we could no longer accept. We watched over our backs and whispered as if something bad would happen if we went on. That was over six months ago. And we still have a lot to come to terms with. Will we live as hypocrites for the rest of our lives, preaching what we do not believe and reciting our beliefs with a heavy-heart hoping we won't convert anyone? This Memorial we were sooooooo pressured to do the Auxiliary Pioneer, I almost gave in. But instead I haven't even bothered to turn in my report I didn't go out at all. My mother is really hurt. I can see it in her eyes, and it kills me. We have always been very close. Our spirituality and my father's opposition bonded us . . . tight. I can't bare to think she'll NEVER talk to me.

    Should we rise against those that love, and support us? And risk the ultimate humiliation . . . DA? Who will we turn to for support and spiritual guidance? We could turn to no religion for comfort, deep down we know we would feel like we betrayed all we once believed. Where do you go from here? I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. I feel scared. I think about this all the time and my husband, all though he knows we need to leave, doesn't want to deal with it at all. He doesn't want to betray his family or be a bad example for his siblings. My husband is 30, his brother is 20 and his sister is 13. He would set a "bad" example for them in a sense.

    I told my dad last night. What makes this situation worse is that we all live together (my parents and us). I could tell he was disappointed he said I was making a mistake. He also said that he understood, but that he thought my Mom would never speak to me again. It's tooooooooo painful. My husband's parents would disown us as well, I suspect. I no longer have friends. My "friends" and I we don't have a thing in common anymore. It irritates the hell out of me to hear the brothers and sisters go on and on with nonsense. This middle-eastern conflict has made many believe Armageddon is around the corner. UHHHHHH it's sickening!!! I want to yell what I feel but I can't. I'd like to ask, "What are you going to do if nothing has happened 50 yrs from now?"

    I recently saw the friends I talked abou earlier. He was removed as an elder (recently) for getting in a fist fight with another elder. They are more determined than ever to redeem themselves. I don't get it. They live these lives that revolve around Watchtower yet they aren't living up to the standards. But God forbid you doubt the JWs. They turn you in. I don't get it. The people I so dearly love would never understand me.

    I can't stop thinking about leaving. I think about it ALL the time. Is this normal?

    Thank You al for listening. This is so therepeutic.

  • Guest 77
    Guest 77

    Welcome to the board.

    I hope I can be of some help. First, take everything in stride and learn to live guilt free, this may be difficult at first but you gotta start somewhere.

    I've known about the org. since 1948, so I'm clued in to what your experiencing. The important people in your life is your family and self. You did the right thing by continuing your education. It will serve you well. Work 'within' this framework and everything else will trickle into place.

    With your knowledge and experience, you will figure out the best route to take. No need for me add anything else except to say, let your conscience be your guide and allow 'time' to do what it's meant to do, heal.

    Guest 77

  • plmkrzy

    Yes it's normal. And it's a hard thing to do. And it usually gets harder before it gets easier. When I left it was a year before I saw my mother again. and two years before I saw my father again.
    Ive learned that regardless of WTS policy not all families are nessisarily ripped apart. Your mother may supprise you. I know mine did.
    I am still shunned by a lot of people from "The Old" cong. But I hardley ran into them so it wasn't as bad for me as it has been for others. It's funny but the people who put the most effort into shunning me are the people I new most of my life. I have been to other cong.'s in other communities and out of state where I have been treated more hospitable then I have been treated in my own home town.

    For the most part I do not associate with JW's any more but I have kept in touch with a few who are clostest to my family. "Realy Closest" not just knowledge of who you are closest.

    It takes time and you need to have the support of a few friends and loved ones if at all possible but it does eventually get eaiser over time.

    One thing is for sure though. Living a life in denial can only be a good thing for a very limited period of time and then it will begin to chew you up.

    Try talking to your mother and just tell her whats in your heart and you need a break from it all. Maybe if you don't make it sound so final it will be eaiser for the both of you and allow some time to adjust the the situation.

    What ever you do I wish you the best and hope every thing works out.

    take care

    No matter how thin you slice it there are always two sides
  • ozziepost

    Oh my! Can it be true? Are there really two Priscas?

    So we have one in the Northern Hemisphere and one in the Great South Land.

    Seems like you gals have got us covered!

    Prisila, we're glad to have you aboard. If you're only half as nice as your Aussie sister, you'll still do just fine.


    "If our hopes for peace are placed in the hands of imperfect people, they are bound to evaporate."

    - Ron Hutchcraft Surviving the Storms of Stress

  • dmouse

    Thanks for sharing your story with us Prisila, I really enjoyed reading it.

    The emotional rollercoaster you're on is perfectly normal at this stage. There were days when I first realised that the 'Truth' was no such thing that I thought of nothing else all day long. I was SOOO angry. Now I am just sad that so many continue to stagnate their lives believing that nonsense.

    I hope that my participation on boards like this will help some to wake up or find solace.

    Yes, I know what you mean, it is so cathartic to spill out what you feel inside. You are fortunate at least that your husband has the same feelings as you. My wife is still a devout member and will not talk religion at all.

    I wish you all the best.



    Hello Prisila Vaela and welcome:

    I (we) understand completely what you feel and are going through. My husband and I went through a similar situation. We were raised in the org my husband born into it, I since I was 6. Pioneered, assembly parts, took all the Co's and Do's into our home when we were host congregation when noone else wnated to cuz they were TOO nervous.
    My husband a servant but used like an elder. The difference is my husband "ate and drank" at memorial for ten years before we left.

    When we finally nade this HUGE decision and met with our local brothers, then appeals committee, then wrote and called the society......
    We lost all our family (Parents, brothers, sisters, aunts uncles, cousins) and 8 months later our JOB. My husband was partners with his brother and father in a sanitiation business and when they viewed us as "apostates" they no longer wanted to EVEN work with him.

    That has been since 1998. And yes, I cannot put in words the happiness we have with our three sons, believe it or not. We also were a VERY close family. Did everything together, and were viewed as the stability of the congregation.

    Our prayers have been answered through this in understanding what is "truth" and where now to turn.
    We, too, for a minute wondered how can ANYONE survive outside of "Jehovah's organization" without him.

    Understanding that "TRUTH" is not a where or a what but a "WHO", our lord and Christ. JOHN 14:6
    Praying for the holy to guide us and teach us is something that we were taught REALLY only belonged to the anointed.
    The organization tells us that it is through them and belonging to them as a JW is the only way we are going to survive Armaggedon.
    They CALL themseles the "visible Christ on earth." Something that ONLY belongs to our master. MATTHEW 23:10
    (JV proclaimers book page 219 par 1-4)

    Life comes through "One" and he tells us that at JOHN 6:48-58 JOHN 15:1-7. Jehovah tells us to LISTEN to the one that he has put in charge of His sheep. JOHN 10:1-........

    There is soooo much that we have since learned by follwing the spirit and understanding what "walking by faith and not by sight" means.

    Please feel free to email us at [email protected]

    I post as JUSTAMOM (kim)

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