Do you Remember the Moment you Stopped Being a JW?

by Smoldering Wick 56 Replies latest jw friends

  • LucidSky

    Although I've lurked here for the past few weeks this will be my first post at! There are so many sad stories of liberation to hear. My own lacks the great drama of some but that probably means I have been spared much grief. There was no clear life-altering event that resulted in a complete turn-around in my life, but there were a few significant occasions.

    The first was the destruction of the "exclusive truth" doctrine. During my participation on internet discussion forums in the late 90's, I met an unusual individual. He opposed the organization but still believed many JW doctrines (I could never buy into the reasoning of nominal Christianity.) After reading his article regarding eternal death in Armageddon (at, for first time realized that the Witnesses could not have exclusive truth rights because they were wrong, and he was right. But I didn't abandon them yet.

    The next big change came when I invited my parents to my place for dinner and they saw some books in full view. The books were older publications written by a companion of Russell after Rutherford seized control of the Watchtower. They wrote me a letter inquiring about them and I replied and told them what I found. By then I had done a lot more research: "other sheep" were gentile Christians, Jesus was at God's "right hand" immediately after he ascended, disfellowshiping procedures should include "going before the church", birthdays are okay if anniversaries are okay, etc, etc.

    We communicated back and forth, usually via letters since that let each of us formulate our words and arguments carefully. But convincing them was of no avail. Each time they were cornered they simply stopped responding to the point I was making or shifted to the next one. Eventually even that stopped. My guess is that they felt guilt or pressure from spiritual discussions that were not "upbuilding" to their faith. Thankfully because I never baptized and thus was never disfellowshiped, I still have a good relationship with them.

    Over the next couple of years my beliefs teetered toward mild agnosticism. My last girlfriend acted as a catalyst for this but she failed to try to understand me. I was left thinking how a wise, just and loving God could make a world that for billions of years has fed on death and conscious suffering (along with life and pleasure). It was comforting being in the organization and having all the answers. Now I am left with none. It is my price for freedom.

  • Debduh

    After 20 years always having nagging doubts and thinking it was just me, I was sitting in the KH during a memorial talk for a sister who recently died. Shortly before she died she had decided she was one of the annointed. The annointed subject always bothered me and I kept putting it behind me like every other doubt. But this time, like a light bulb, I just realized: I DO NOT BELIEVE ANY OF THIS. Although at first I felt it was me, later through reading, and research and being away from the KH and being able to really think, I realized that the reason I didn't believe it is that it was all man made. I felt free finally. I didn't have to always judge people and always think I should be witnessing to them. I could really love everyone (or not). That felt right. That felt good. Although I miss some people and hope they will have their own light bulb moment one day, I am so glad to have the WT Society behind me. I work with many active witnesses who regard me from afar and that makes me sad sometimes. But I actually feel sorry for them that they are so clueless and caught in the WT claws. It is good to read everyone's posts; it has a healing effect.

  • Perry

    How, can one put such pain into words. My ex-wife , daughter of a fill in CO was a psycho girl from hell. My son from my first marrriage decided that that jw life was too restricting ie., no sports etc. and demanded to move in with his alcholic mother that he could control.

    The Elders shunned me because of poltics. I had no one . All alone. I decided to choose life. Get serious counseling.... I interviewed several. Finally dismantled business interests and went to college. There for the first time I learned to think. I never looked back. Freedon came with a price. It always does. I have no regrets.

  • revdrjohnson

    I was at the summer District Convention -- July 1974 -- smack dab in the middle of the 2:00 p.m. discourse.

    The Holy Spirit spoke to MY spirit and said: "Get up and get out of here! You are not being fed! This is the same stuff you've been hearing all of your life, just rehashed over and over again. Get out of here, before you starve to death!" I got up, picked up my briefcase, walked out of the stadium. I have never looked back...

    Keep the Faith

  • LDH

    LOL Ray that's funny--so you left just before 1975 even with all the hype and hysteria surrounding it?



  • homeschool

    just looking at some older posts and came across this one. Wow, great stuff. I remember my moment. I decided to tell on myself for commiting fornication. I felt terrible, guilty, humiliated. I cried and told on myself to three elders. I remember them telling me that, in the older days, I would've been stoned to death. I remember thinking, Huh? Ok, didn't need to hear that, but whatever, I guess I deserved that comment. they kicked me outta the room because they were 'leaning towards disfellowshipping'....but then they decided on public reproof. I sat in the Kingdum Hall the night of the announcement, and it was the most humiliating thing EVER.

    It was at that moment, I realized this is not what true love is about. And god would not want me sitting here with everybody staring at me and judging me. Sure. they say they do not judge, which is great on paper. But reality shows a completely different story.

  • perfect1


Share this