Since the first "'Experiences' in Gay Nightclubs, Part One" thread proved to be so popular (~400 hits in about a day!), I figured I'd draw another 'experience' from my vast pool of, uh, 'service reports' and 'magazine routes' to share with you people. This one is quite a bit worse...
So there I am, minding my own business, looking for one of my friends. The club we were in was supremely crowded, so it was pretty hard to move around much - it was so crowded that the only way you could dance was horizontally! Slowly making my way through the crowd, looking for my lost (and most probably completely smashed) friend, I didn't see a very, very large man walking towards me, as I was busy trying to dodge a dodgy-looking Nigerian drug dealer type (fur coat, thick gold chains, rings on every finger type of Nigerian Drug Dealer). As luck would have it, I bumped into the big man.
Now this guy was not just big. He was FLIPPING GIGANTIC. Like Thor, except Thor didn't use steroids. This dude had muscles in places where I don't even have places!!! Result: I bounce off of him. Yes, bounce. That was how stout he was. There I am on the floor, my hands covered with icky shoe-residue from 10K+ people, so he looks down and grabs me with this maniac grin on his face, and proceeds to pick me up and lock me in one of the most terrifying bear-hugs of my life! ARGH! My bones were being crushed, and I was sure that any moment my ribcage would implode and puncture my lungs or something, and just as I stopped gargling and everything started going black, the guy says "SORRY!".
Thing is, he had the most camp, effeminate voice I've ever heard in a man!
Needless to say, this is the point where I began thrashing about rather violently, and eventually he let me go and I limped away! EGADS!
OUCH.
You guys ready for Part 3?
I'm sure glad we don't vote anymore like we did before we got the truth. Now we get to complain about everything ALL the politicians do!
[SYN], UADA - Unseen Apostate Directorate, Africa