How to give to Jehovah

by Satanus 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Back in the good old days, when god actually spoke to his great warriors, generally stuff they gave to their god was offered up as burnt offerings. They burned thousands of cattle, goats, sheep, lots of cities and even a few people. Back then, jay hoover got off on the smells of bbqing meat and just generally burning stuff. How to make him happy, today? Well, it seems that protein bbqs are out. However, money burns real good. Instaed of going through all the middlemen, why don't they offer up their money directly to their god, by burning it? Make their god happy, again;)

    S

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    As Bono once said, "The god I believe in isn't short of cash." I echo that sentiment.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    I love a good braai!

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    JO

    I echo your echo.

    Lou

    Had look that up. I like em, too.

    S

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    Satanus - a south african bbq if you will. The best thing ever is having a braai early evening, a few beers - did that yesturday for my mums' birthday. We ate the sacrificial offering of chops, chicken, cherry bacon sticks - delish.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    That sounds really good. 'God' was happy. Cherry bacon sticks are new to me.

    S

  • prologos
    prologos

    There is something illegal about destroying currency, the governments print it to stimulate the economy and wreak havoc in general. If you want to be ignored by god, try burning vegetables.(like Cain) Cherries?

    Dont burn money, put in your Roth - or 400K accounts , or better: self-administerd Real Estate RRSP like the WT BtS INC.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    ooooh Satanus - you are SO missing out!!! It's a piece of bacon wrapped around a kebab stick, a cherry on either end and glazed in a not too sweet cherry coating - braai or grill those up - DELISH.

    We also get pork rashes - the best thing on this damn planet. Thick cut bacon if you will or pork belly, glazed with a honey or pineapple - it's a salt that we get here and you put a fair amount on. You could make your own honey glaze - let me tell you - man - the bestest things ever.

    Get that going in the States, you'll make a damn fortune.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Pro

    True, god was a carnivore in ot times. Lately, it has been said that he has a hankering for paper money.

    Lou

    Sounds good.

    S

  • unstopableravens
    unstopableravens

    we will offer up atheist to our god(joking of course)

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