Online Dating

by love_ever_wanting 53 Replies latest social relationships

  • jgnat

    A word to the wise, love_ever_wanting, that support and advice will be hard to come by at the Kingdom Hall if you marry an "unbeliever". That will mean anyone who is not a Jehovah's Witness no matter how spiritual they are. My JW husband has been bluntly told, "you made your bed, lie in it" the few times he has asked for advice.

  • love_ever_wanting

    And its very difficult because divorce is frowned upon too, once your married, thats it, your bound for life until death or adultry.

  • jgnat

    That's led to weird behavior. Like a battered wife leaving, disfellowshipped for remarrying, and her batterer an elder in good standing. Or a husband begging his ex-wife to have an affair so he can marry his new honey without consequences.

  • free2beme
    free2beme is pretty good. I know several people who have gotten some hook ups over it.

  • scary21

    Yes POF ( plenty of fish ) My sister met her BF there. She was looking for someone who lived on the water, with a boat. First time she went to his house, guess what he had on his end table ??????? A NWT of the bible lol. They just recently broke up after 3 years.

    He had once been married to a JW, but was never one himself. At least POF is free ! But you may have to search through a lot of losers.


  • jws

    Just to get something straight, if you aren't baptised yet, you cannot be disfellowshipped. So don't worry about that.

    It's much more important to find personal compatibilities than just common love of the same hobby or in this case, religion. Although anything that's going to be a big part of your life means you'll have to find an accepting partner. For me it's my hobby and I look for girlfriends who are in my running group, but that doesn't mean we're compatible. It just means we're likely to accept each other's love of participation in the group.

    JWs are a small pool to choose from. You have your local congregation, which may or may not have any suitable members. You have the occasional circuit assembly with a few congregations combined. Better, more selection, and relatively local. Then you have the district conventions with a lot more people and a lot more selection. And while not necessarily close, at least you're in the same region. It's not like one of you is from New York and the other Los Angeles.

    So online can give you even more choices. And if you're shy, gives you a way to be a little bolder than what you might be in person. Maybe with online boldness, you may even meet somebody local that you didn't know about.

    But, there are dangers.

    First off, never trust the pictures if looks are big on your list.

    Second, as mentioned, they could be lying about who they are, what they like, etc. You will hear stories about worldly guys with a bad hankering to get a JW girl because they're so good, but that's just propaganda. I don't see it. Most of the world thinks of JWs as a bunch of nutty cultists. What worldly guy would want to marry somebody he thinks is a nut case? In it just for the sex? Chances are the JW girl isn't going to put out. So what interest would worldly guys have in going on a JW dating site just to get sex? But aside from worldly guys, JW guys could also be misrepresenting themselves in other ways not related to religion. And you'll have to find that out in person.

    Lastly, you are picking from a wider pool which could be spread out all over the country. I've been in long distance relationships. They seldom work. You don't really get to know the other person that well. And I've known people for whom the longing was the key. In the absence of a physical presense, it's easy to dream while you're apart. Imagining all the good. But when it escalates and you spend more time together and/or get married, you could find the reality is horrible. And you've married built on imagining a perfect guy who wasn't at all what you've dreamed about. Also, you risk either of you succumbing to temptation in more ways than one. You could succumb with the person. They come into town, you go to their town. Now one of you has a hotel room, no prying eyes... Or, the temptation of local people. Things change, they experience new people and so do you. What if the perfect guy walks into your life or the perfect girl into his and you're miles/states away? You aren't together to help you each realize what you already have. The readily availble often trumps the long distance lover.

    Use caution. I would recommend looking outside of the JWs too. Remember, at this stage, you cannot be disfellowshipped.

  • moshe

    My friend John Cip tells JWs they have theocraptic priveleges!

  • love_ever_wanting

    I understand that I can't be disfellowshipped yet, but I can't really date a JW right now without being baptised eaither, because none of them in there right mind should touch me with a ten foot pole right now.

    I just don't want to get at the point when I am baptised that I am still in the habit of looking outside the organization.

    The sister I was refering to though with that story, really had a set of un-fortunete circumstances, that tainted some of her views on christian men.

  • love_ever_wanting

    Oh yeah, and I would NOT recommend POF.... Loaded with Nut Jobs... Been there done that, gone everywheres from crazytown to Gehenna and back and have the t-shirts to prove it! lol

  • jgnat

    LEW, you seem to be vivacious, independent, bright, and opinionated. All great qualities. Remind me again why you are so eager to let that all go?

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