How do you like it? I think it is a great way to keep youths out of trouble.
Have you ever volunteered as a big brother or big sister?
by Iamallcool 10 Replies latest jw friends
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cptkirk
this is how i would have thought the jw organization worked when i first went in at around age 17, obviously wasn't mulling this stuff during the short time i went around ages 5-8. this really to be really honest, this really broke my heart. i had such high expectations, and i remember a group of us that would hang out together, ranging from age 17-28. and i remember looking at the couple guys who were around that age 26-28, and seeing them like big brothers, and yet, never was much of any substance there. i had these idealistic notions going in, why wouldn't i? getting hammered with "THE TRUTH" constantly. i remember being with them one night and the one girl opens a beer, and she was underage, she looked at me and said something like, 'you are probably thinking we are no different than your worldly friends'. little did she know what i was doing with my worldly friends, but i didn't say anything to her, just chuckled i guess. that girl later (who i really did like), i remember her coming on to me, and it was just stumbling me....because i remember looking at her like she was supposed to be this example....the funny thing is i really did love this girl....but i was so totally confused by all of their behavior that i ended up just going back in a different direction for a while. i remember we went to a movie and she sat next to me, she kept looking at me during the movie and i'm like wtf? does this girl really want me to kiss her now? the whole thing was such a colossal disappointment, can't even put it into words. i think during that time the guys in the group felt a lot of pressure that they needed to act worldly for acceptance, i think they were really self conscious about being seen as different. so they were i think aloof many times just because they were so self conscious, and like i said, i was expecting this brotherhood. and the girls, just being so liberal with physical contact, it all just totally stumbled me.
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talesin
No, but I volunteered at a long-term shelter for youth at risk (17-24). I spent one year as a live-in with 3 at-risk young women. It was 'the best of times, and the worst of times'.
It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I learned a lot. There was also an incident where someone was suicidal, and I was the person he reached out to. It was a watershed moment for me, and I realized that if nothing else came of my life, I had been blessed to be the one who saved him.
If you are wondering/questioning, whether it would be worth your time and emotional investment, I can only answer with a resounding "YES!"
xo
tal
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stillin
Sorry, cool. I take a more cynical position. I respect the sentiment but fear that today's kids are more savvy that we might expect. We open ourselves up to vulnerabilities that we never thought of in a setting like that.
My wife was studying with a kid who was taking advantage of the opportunity to quietly ransack and pilfer things from our home.
I personally have been made aware that it's best to avoid even a few moments of being alone with a kid because anything they say can cast a shadow over you for the rest of your life. That didn't happen to me, but my eyes were opened up to the possibility.
two big brothers are better than one, if you get my point.
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talesin
When you volunteer for Big Brother, or any youth charity, you are given training re how to protect yourself and the youth.
Yes, that is a cynical attitude you have, but then, you are still in and deal with the worst in human nature on a regular basis by subjecting yourself to the JWS. As a JW, you and your wife were given zero training on how to deal with youth at risk. I'm sorry you have been hurt like that. It's not a happy way to live, I gotta tell you. Most people are trustworthy, and many kids would LOVE to have a positive role model in their life.
I lived with 3 youth at risk (well, there was some rotation, so over the year, there were 5 different young women who lived in the house), and the only thing I lost was a burnt pot! Your wife made a bad choice. Please don't label all kids as thieves and miscreants because you had a negative experience.
xo
tal
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talesin
PS, almost 20 years later, and a couple of those 'kids' are still in my life. :P
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shopaholic
I've considered it but was concerned about the stability of the parents. I don't think you get to meet them before hand or at least that's what I was told at an information session in my area.
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talesin
I understand all your fears,, it's a reality. But they *should* give you training, and these kids NEED the help. Take a chance, is all I can say.
Think of us, and how bereft we were growing up ... to give this to a child in need, is the best thing you may ever do. Imagine ... YOU could be the factor that changes one child's life for-EVER.
xo
tal
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Mum
No. I avoid children for the most part, except those in my family.
I did volunteer at a Fire Department Holiday Party in conjunction with an inner city ministry to take 3 little girls through the activities, lunch and gift selection process. I got this particular family because I speak a little Spanish. The oldest girl in the family spoke perfect English anyway, so they could have gone with anyone. Their mom spoke only Spanish, so it was a good learning experience for both of us. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. They were so sweet. When the family picture was taken, they insisted that I be in the picture, too.
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talesin
I was re-reading this, and at first glance, it made me feel sad.
Then I realized that a LOT of us, have never had positive reinforcement, in the way BB/BS provides. It makes sense that we, as a group, may feel negative about this particular organization. BB/BS does a LOT of good.
:)) but, please, read on ...
I feel that many of you, and especially Mum, would most likely effect a positive role model in troubled youth's lives, but on the other hand, I so understand your fears and misgivings - especially if you felt that you weren't sure, and personal involvement may involve law enforcement (if the troubled youth was inclined in that way, and not all are), and hell, often, nothing is clear.!
xo my brothers and sisters ... by choice, not by faith! Let your heart lead, and choose what level of involvement you wish to have in these issues.
Do what you can, whether through organized efforts, or through being vigilant in your own lives to any kind of child abuse. I salute you all!
xo
tal