or more like a thunking sound really, which set our little dog into a fit of barking. I crawled out from behind the fridge where I was doing a repair on the waterline for the icemaker, so I could go see what all the commotion was about. I fugured it was going to be my neighbor returning my ladder but instead it was JW's handing out Memorial invites.
The woman and the young man (her 20 something Son) were people I had known but hadn't seen since we faded 4+ years ago. They attended the other congregation that also met at our Kingdom Hall. She is a really nice lady....sort of a hoot, always has someting upbeat to talk about.Raised her son on her own as the father ran out on them years ago. Her Son was always a bit of a odd duck but seems to have settled into being a young JW Minister in training despite his rocky beginnings.
At first they seemed taken aback as if they didn't expect anyone to answer the door let alone have it turn out to be someone they already knew. I invited them in out of the cold and we got caught up a little. She noticed the framed family photos on the bookcase in our entry and said "You and Mrs. Exyz were always the best looking couple I ever knew...it's no wonder your boys look like movie stars." Well that was certainly nice to hear....didn't expect to hear something like that ! But then she looked at me really intently and said "Gosh you look so good....you look so peaceful and content. Didn't you used to have trouble with depression? " I told her that it was actually anxiety that I had struggled with for years but it was no longer an issue whatsoever. She wanted to know how I had gotten over it....so I told her. In doing so I might have hurt her feelings or offended her and now I regret not having just given her a vague answer.
Instead I said " Well....you're not going to like hearing this but we stopped attending meetings a few years ago and the anxiety I suffered from for years, dissapeared overnight....vanished and hasn't returned." I told her that I couldn't stand to hear any more talk about the end of the world or how bad world conditions are or about the upcomming destruction of all non JW humanity. After having lived since childhood in constant dread of Armegeddon and the tribulation and knowing my non-Witness father could be destroyed any day and possibly even be destroyed myself if I failed to endure some form of torture during the tribulation, had made me a nervous wreck. She said " Oh but everything has changed, it's so different now... the literature is so encouraging". I said " but they've always maintained they were the only truth in the world and were being directed by God....if that was the case, why did they feel the need to change it ?" I told her how my Dad died from not taking a blood transfusion at the advice of the Witnesses, only to have the Society decide a short time later that blood "fractions" were acceptable. I told her how all the Brothers assured me he would be in the New System because he took his stand for Jehovah in the end but because he wasn't baptized, we couldnt have his Memorial in the Kingdom Hall. New System yes... Kingdom Hall...sorry no can do. I told her how my son was DF'd because he and his Fiance' went to the elders about a personal matter and even though many before them were not even so much as reprooved, they had the book thrown at them. I told her about how we were abamdoned by all our JW friends and family when he was diagnosed with Cancer a few weeks after he and our Daughter in Law's names were read from the platform. How he moved in with us and we helped him through Surgery, Chemo and a stint in intensive care and faced the possibility of burying our Son alone should he not survive the Cancer. I told her my last meeting was the memorial of 2009 where I sat and listened to them talk about Christ's loving sacrafice, about God's merciful provisions, watched them welcome perfect strangers into the Congregation with open arms while 200+ friends and family purposefully shunned our bald, sick, chemo-ravaged, frail Son because he and his Fiance' made a mistake. "That is not love" I said.
"Besides all that, what about the false prophesies? " I asked. Then I pulled from the shelf, a copy of that 1983 Watchtower. (You know...that one with the cover photo of all those elderly Bethelites looking heavenward) , entitled "1914 Generation That Will Not Pass Away". I told her that I knew some of those folks when I was in Bethel and they have all passed away. Some of them have been gone for 15 or 20 years now. I asked her how the Society could have millions of us spend countless hours spreading this information all over the world and then simply change the meaning of the word "generation" without so much as an appology or admitting they were wrong? I said "Every date they've held forth since the beginning of the Organization has been 100% wrong" She said "Well all you have to do is look at the news and realize the end really is close now....there's women kissing eachother on TV and earthquakes everywhere." I said those things have been going on forever but It's just that we have instant information now. The USGS says earthquakes and their severity haven't changed, it just that we now have more advanced and widely distributed tracking systems available than ever before. Besides....even if there is an end in store, that doesn't mean JW's are the only truth or will be the only ones included in God's plans. They are always condemning other religions for being wrong but when they are wrong themselves they simply act as if it never happened".
She said "Well I'm happy so...." I said "Well that's good that it's working for you sometimes people are better when they have structure in their lives....any kind of structure, but I just couldn't bear to look the other way anymore, it was causing me physical and mental harm". The Son looked like he was really thinking and she did too but I could tell she wanted to leave because she had no way of refuting anything I was saying.
I feel badly now and am in the process of hunting down her phone number so I can appologize for having been so blunt. I said everything in a calm and kind manner but no matter what, the words would be shocking to someone who wasn't expecting to hear them. As I said, she's a sweet lady and didn't deserve to have this come at her with both barrels and may have possibly spoiled her morning.