My husband and I have been out of the JW for about 10 months now, not d/a or d/f yet. They just havent caught us on some things they could get us for ! But that is all fluff, we dont beleive a thing they teach anymore. We are studing on our own, not diligent study , but as we feel like it. In the mean time we are living for the weekends, to go out dancing , drinking and acting like teenagers. We were both raised JW and never had any fun at all. It feels so great to be alive now, but sometimes I feel guilty for wanting to just have fun now. Do any of ya'll or have you in the different stages of recovery , after leaving JW gone thru this? My son is 15 and we can sit and talk for hours about what we want to do with our lives and how we dont know what the future holds. The only difference is he does have the rest of his life, so much of mine was wasted . I wonder if others are bitter about all the wasted years, but at the same time do you feel happier now?
35yrs old going on 15 !
by LyinEyes 10 Replies latest jw friends
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rhett
Bitter and pissed off at the WTBTS for everything but extremely happy knowing that at least I will never have to deal with those assholes again! There's a certain freedom that comes with not having anything to lose. You've got it now. Enjoy every single moment of it you can!!!!!
Back down the bullies to the back of the bus
Its time for them to be scared of us -
WildHorses
Hi Lyin,
The guilt does go away. It is however a long process. The more you learn about the past history of the WTS. The less guilty you will feel. It took me about a year and a hal to get over the feelings of guilt.
Enjoy your new found freedom.
Lilacs
I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
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WildTurkey
The only thing i can say is take good care of your husband, he is such a good guy!
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jst2laws
WildTurkey and LyinEyes,
You two sound like a lot of fun. Joy2bfree and I are out for less than a year as well. I'm just getting over the depression of loosing my fantasy. After all it was something we were willing to die for. Losing something as valuable as life itself must result in grief.
But feeling guilty about having fun hasn't hit me yet. I have no hobbies, too old for sports, hate computer games, but love to sleep in on Saturday and Sunday mornings. And I did get myself a great motorcycle last summer, a Shadow. No guilt.
Like you we read together, many different translations of the Bible. I have always been a researcher too. We do not intend to loose our faith in God. I don't take the Bible so literally anymore and I'm not sure what I believe on a lot of subjects, but I know there is a great message in the Christain scriptures. Hope you feel the same.
Mean while LyinEyes, enjoy yourself and dont forget to take care of that Turkey.
Jst2laws
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DanTheMan
The title of your post says it all. I am only recently da'd, and it is exciting and scary to contemplate post-borg life. I'm trying to take a day-at-a-time approach. I am not bitter about my experience, and I certainly don't want to define myself for the rest of my life as a cult survivor. I was so f**king vulnerable at 22 years old that if I hadn't stumbled upon the JW's, I probably would've gotten into Scientology or Mormonism or Moonies - one of 'em would've found me. One thing I didn't do much of whilst I was a JW was read (except WT literature, of course). Right now I'm reading the complete Sherlock Holmes, I am quite enjoying it! So many books, so little time. BTW, one website I visited (can't remember which one) said that the typical recover period for ex-dubs is 1-5 years. Another day, another rambling post on JW.com!
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JT
Lady "C" and myself have been out for almost 4 yrs and it gets better each year
and we are having a ball- you will love it
and yes now we look forward to the weekends
laying around in the bed on sunday reading the paper in our drawers
smile -
somebody
JT,
laying around in the bed on sunday reading the paper in our drawers
Ahhh.....the little things in life that were stolen from many!!
smileLyinEyes,
Good topic to make us all think..... about the simple things we can enjoy through all the hours of "work" we have to do.
peace,
somebody -
Prisca
It's great to be alive, eh?
Since I left and came to terms with everything, I have had this intense feeling as if I have a new lease of life in me. Everything is so new to me. So many things I haven't experienced, but would like to try. I haven't gone overboard, but am trying out things I've always wanted to try. Like going out on a real date (without chaperones ). Going to a pub and drinking and laughing with friends until 3am. Or just having the freedom to discover life without the WTS blinkers on.
And as JT said, there's nothing like the freedom of being able to sleep in on the weekends!
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greven
Carpe Diem what a wonderful phrase!
Carpe Diem aint no passing grace.
it means no worry for the rest of yourdays,
it`s a problem free philosofy,
hakuna matata!"Fear is strange soil. Mainly it grows obedience like corn, which grows in rows and makes weeding easy. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground."
-from "Small Gods" by Terry Pratchett-