Sorry you went through that.....I am going back to read your earlier posts.
Update on "DA'd/DF'd"...
by Suraj Khan 22 Replies latest jw experiences
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wasblind
Thanks for the link Blondie
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cobaltcupcake
Interestingly, up until 1988, unbaptized publishers could be da'd/df'd.
I remember a kid from my congregation getting DA'd "for conduct unbecoming a Christian."
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DesirousOfChange
I wonder what I wrote that was so terrible?
the reason for the announcement was because I had written a political piece for my college paper.
The JWs consider this the offense of not being "neutral" to the world's political affairs.
What a great opportunity to ask your brothers how they feel that compares to the WTS joining as an NGO of the United Nations (which they teach is the Image of the Beast of Revelation).
Let's weigh it out -- a 19yo unbaptized student writing an oped for a school newspaper VS. the GB/F&DS rejecting Christ by alligning itself with the UN (the Disgusting Thing causing desolation).
Obviously their decision makes sense since it was directed by Holy Spirit. (WTF?)
Doc
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ABibleStudent
Hi Suraj Khan, I'm sorry that your JW family and friends have been shunning you for so long because of an unloving WTBTS.
When you ask your JW family and friends questions that they cannot answer, wait as long as it takes for them to say something. Don't say anything until they say something. Steve Hassan recommends this approach to help people to think in some of his books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs") and in some of his videos. If you read Steve Hassan's books and practise his methods, you may be able to improve your relationship with your JW relatives and friends or at least have more compassion for their behavior.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
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bsmart
It was well before the 80's when I left as a teenager... I also can remember the definitions for DA were different. I am glad you have some answers to the "DA" .
Hope you can ask more questions about changes in the policy and get your brothers to actually think!
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RayPublisher
@ Suraj Khan - Keep cleaning the WT junk out of your head bro. Commenting here will help a lot- it sure has for me over the last couple of years.
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problemaddict
I would have never thought twice about this in the recent past. What a difference a few months makes. Your FAMILY.....not some people just hanging around.....your FAMILY, didn't talk to you for 25 years!!!!
.....behind a technicality. This has to be pointed out to them. You were never baptized, were no different than anyone else on the planet, and yet even though you are their blood they went to special lengths to stay away from you even though anyone else in their lives who isn't a JW is perfectly fine to talk to, work with, etc.....behind a technicality that appears to have been abandon?
I think you should take the high road and get into speaking with your family so your kids can know their cousins etc... But honestly don't let them just walk with this stuff without it being brought to their attention.
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Suraj Khan
ProblemAddict - It's been a struggle not to lash out and sever connections again.
During the immediate fallout, and before the real reason for the congregation's action was known (to anyone but the older brother who had ratted me out all those years ago), my younger sister sent me several comments hypothesizing that the reason was fornication. Her comments, much of which were copypasta from the organization, dripped of hate and a 'blame the victim' mentality which this entire religion fosters.
As I've noted previously on here, I was already well out the door in my heart and actions. I had been since age 13 when I participated in baptismal preparation studies and my sixth sense screamed that nothing being taught was making sense. So the congregation sending me off the pitch with a red card at 19 didn't matter to me. What really galls me is that despite my family's repeated protestations that Witnesses are a 'loving organization', their actions prove otherwise. Tearing apart families for minor or perceived infractions is inexcusable. Even had I committed a more enjoyable sin like fornication or adultery, I should think that a Christian organization should still have 'hated the sin and loved the sinner', and demonstrated through that love the path by which I could find ultimate salvation.
I'm still sorting out what my next step should be. My younger brother concluded his phone call with "I love you," and I told him that I loved him, too. Despite all of this acrimony, I'm proud of him, and I'm grateful that he cared enough about me to try to reason with me.
I guess it's a start.
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problemaddict
Hey Suraj. I don't want my comments to be misinterpreted. I think you are doing the right thing by holding your emotions in check, and connecting with your fam. But at some point, when you have calmed down, it would be good to point out what has been done in the name of their faith. Not to induce shame, but to get them to think for themselves. You will need to be in total control of your emotions at the time you decide to do that.
We are what we do, not what we think. Your brother thinks he loves you, but his actions have shown otherwise. Let him redeem himself, and learn what it means.