I just had a thought that made me feel so much better about this fade...

sosoconfused

This is not monumental... I am sure all of you think it all the time.

But as a 3rd gen born-in ex-elder ex-pioneer ex-bethelite I spent so much time in this relion believing that for some reason that GOD, who loves all humans and created all things only wanted a few people to get knowledge of him - and this small group in America was his choice.

Now as i said I am sure 99% of you probably came to that realization before and it is common sense, but the very fact that as a grown man I never really thought about this for more than 15 seconds. The whole idea is just ridiculous and freaking stupid. I am so frakin mad right now that I just want to start punching puppies in the stomach.

However I do know that sometime between now and the next 2 hours I am going to feel bad again as if I have left Jehovah by having these thoughts. The lasting effects of these teachings hurt so freaking bad.

Not to mention that I still feel that I can't achieve anything... its as if as soon as I start being successful I feel bad and I reject it.

NOT FOR MY CHILDREN HOWEVER... NOT FOR MY CHILDREN

Comatose

Hang in there. For some reason I'm different than you. My guilt has been non existent. I feel so comfortable. Remember its not just about doctrine. Ask yourself, why were Neanderthals around 20k years ago? Did God make them and not care about them? You have no reason to feel guilt. You are going to be just fine. I hope you find some peace.

Bob_NC

Howdy sosoconfused, What you are feeling is so normal. I can assure you that the turmoil will eventualy pass. It took about a year for me. But I still visit sites like this after 13 years, so it never goes away. But I must tell you that life is GRAND and oh so wonderful outside the bonds and lunacy of "we are the only ones." Please friend, let yourself feel what you need to feel at this time, but do know that a wonderful life with much accomplishment awaits. Message me privately if you feel the need.

Bob in NC

sosoconfused

THanks both of you... it is so funny that one day you can feel so free and then all of a sudden you feel like crap.

One thing i must admit is beginning to settle with me though is that people who are not part of this group are so more genuine then JW's.

I have kids who in 8 years of life never get invited anywhere, or they are treated like crap. I move to a new neighborhood and the "WORLDLY" people come by to ask me if I want to go to the park with them. WTF!

I thought all they did was smoke / drink and fornicate all day long and eat peoples bone LOL.

Dismissing servant

"One thing i must admit is beginning to settle with me though is that people who are not part of this group are so more genuine then JW's."

I believe this is a very important observation. My simple conclusion is that JW can't be genuine...they have to play "the publisher role" to get accepted in the JW community. Maybe not only play a role, but also depersonalize themselves. I think Steven Hassan says a lot on this subjekt when he talks about the "genuine personality", or was it "genuine self"?

A cult member has a "cult self", that manifests itself in different ways, but most cult members have a genuine self that sometimes can be reached.

And yes...I asked myself the same question many years ago. Why the heck would an almighty god use a group of old med i Brooklyn for communication with humankind? And why would he demand of people being members of an american cult selling magazines from door to door. An omnipotent god must have better ways reaching people.

OUTLAW

GOD, who loves all humans and created all things only wanted a few people to get knowledge of him -

and this small group in America was his choice.

The WBT$ God didn`t pick China because.. I Hate..

He can`t Use ChopSticks.. Effin ChopSticks!..

............................. ...OUTLAW

sosoconfused

I am checking that book out now as a matter of fact.

I am almost afraid to open it LOL

Chopsticks LOL

Bob_NC

I recently read Steven Hassan's, Combating Cult Mind Control. It convinced me that I used to be under mind control, just as any active JW is. For me the freedom came once I was mentally able to see "God" apart from the organition and no longer call it "His" organization.

love2Bworldly

Knowledge is power... it takes time starting a whole new life. I know I took me many years because I didn't have the internet and this forum back in 1984. I suffered from severe guilt & depression for many years thinking anytime now God was going to lower the boom on me, Armageddon was coming and I had to live whatever time I had left.

This form as well as other internet sites & attending a workshop on cults starting about 2002 set everything in motion. Now I really feel bad for people who are under cult mind control-- not just JWs, but Mormans, Catholics & other religions who teach that theirs is the only way to be approved by God. My sister is the only family member as a JW, but she seems like the most unhappy person-- loves being mean to people she doesn't like, especially so called worldly people. I feel sorry for her, that the 'paradise' is not coming. I believe we can make our own life a paradise through healing & living a positive life--- I know it sounds corny, and it's tough at times with all the BS & heartache in the world, but we can only control our own thoughts & behaviors & not other people.

I wish you the best on your fade. Make positive friends who have the same interests as you-- try volunteering & doing things you enjoy. Most of all, have patience with yourself.

LoisLane looking for Superman

SoSoConfused...I haven't known TTATT, (the truth about the truth) for a year yet. It took me a few months, to understand that "worldly" people, are normal

people. In time, you will become normal too.

Were you forbidden to go to your High School Reunion? Governing Body member Albert Schroeder's, son Ben went. No sin for him. Why for you? Ben

Schroeder went to University. No sin for him. None for you either. Ben got married. Did he commit sin? No. What does The Watchtower say? Do what we

say ...not what we do.

If you were in Bethel, did you see, hear things, that you felt you shouldn't share, because it might stumble less "spiritual" ones? Was it taken care of or

swept under the rug?

The idea that God would only pick these American men, The Governing Body, for his only true religion, is not logical. They have investments and a Retirement package. Do you?

Welcome to the normal world of free human beings with free thinking ability.

Just Lois

I just had a thought that made me feel so much better about this fade...

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