Lol…could not resist this one.
What do the schools teach about the American Revolution and England getting its hiney spanked?
They teach that Americans took a long while to learn how to make the perfect cup of tea. Their first attempts involved Boston sea water and gigantic tea bags. Their most contemporary attempts at tea-making seem to involve brightly colored waxed paper cups and a finished product that tastes a little like one would imagine an C18th Boston cup of tea might have tasted.
PS - What is a ‘hiney’, don’t you mean ‘blimey’?
Do you actually say "The Queen Her Majesty"? or just "Queeny"
Neither - perfect English grammar would have the statement made in this manner- "Her Majesty That Old Queen".
Does the water over there really suck as bad as I hear it does?
Anybody who sucks English water deserves all they get.
Do the women have hairy armpits, or is that France? lol
As I am not given to the American habit of peering beneath womens armpits, I will I am afraid have to pass on this question.
How do you view the U.S. and its citizens in general?
Most English people view Americans as the type of people who might elect Born Again Christians as President of their nation. A laughable notion I admit, but it may happen some day.
What about Cananda? Aren't they like a "leg" of England?
Canada is more the bunion of England than the leg, although it makes a much better job at sheltering terrorists than it ever could have imagined at the planning stage.
Do all your buildings sink into the ground about an inch every year?
This would mean that the superb "Westminster Abbey’ would have sunk sixty-six feet by now. Sounds to me as if you have been speaking with the US Foreign Diplomatic Corps, who are of course, very well known for the razor-like knowledge of their universe which makes up the area of the closet of their latest Mistress.
You guys going to the Euro dollar?
Only if the coins and notes are really, really pretty. We have our standards you know.
Do they air any American TV shows?
Not too many, terribly busy getting out into the World and doing something rather than growing fat and bulbous watching TV ads.
American commercials?
No thanks.
Are your teeth really bad or is that a myth? No orthodontists?
Now that the steel industry has been dismantled by Her Majesty Thatcher, no steel for teeth braces is available, hence the crooked teeth scenario. I understand that most of Pittsburgh works around the clock to ensure straight teeth in America. God bless the steel industry and all who chew on her.
What are the most popular vehicles there?
The same ones that most Americans would love to afford but can only do so if they are Chinese Americans or New York pimps, Mercedes, Volvo, Saab, Porsche, Lada’s.
Best regards - HS
