--Because I no longer nelieve. I was excommunicated for "Apostasy". That was their rationale for not allowing me to speak at his funeral last month. My family did everything they could to keep us away. They threatened to call the cops if we stepped foot on any of my dad's properties, including a home me and my sons helped my dad to build. I raised my 3 sons a half block away from my parents. Yes, my dad wanted me to rejoin MORONism, but we still spoke weekly and we had plans to visit during spring break. My family said that if we insisted on coming, they wanted us to stay at a hotel, "behave yourself" and never come to the family home. They couldn't give ANY example of when I had EVER not behaved. They expected us to stay away while the rest of the family created memories a few blocks away. Other wild and outrageous accusations about us were made secretly. They really want and NEED to believe the worst about us. It used to be such an idyllic family.
My family has been giving me "tough love" to force us back into the clutches of mormonism. I have been told repeatedly what I needed to do to be good with the family. Go back to Mormonism. We "excluded" ourselves, they say. The word "shun" isn't used, but effectively the same thing exists.
I decided to take my family to the funeral anyway. Family and friends were very divided at our insisted presence. Very few risked coming up to us, expressing love, and thanks that we had come, despite our treatment by the church and family. These few examples were deep, sincere and long lasting. We had a hard time getting out of the chapel by speaking with these few who still cared, despite being trained not to by the cult.
Anyway, at the beginning of the meeting, they "boxed" us in the pew with the two largest guys in the family sitting on both sides of us. We were on the front row by the casket. In her eulogy, my oldest sister said that my dad had wanted ALL of his kids to speak at his funeral. But there I was, excluded from the program of speakers and boxed in. A scene would have developed had I tried to say one word at my dad's funeral, or go up to the podium. Instead, I stood up by the casket and started humming Edelweis, a family favorite. I choked up trying to hum the song. A few family members started chiming in with the "words" I was forbidden to say. Afterward, I kissed the casket and had a moment of silence before sitting down. Afterwards, several commented that they had held it together, until I did that.
My family just does not "get" how cruel they are being. The new family rules seem to be 1. You can't be too cruel with "apostates". 2. NEVER apologize to apostates, no matter how eggregious the behavior. 3. Secrecy, false accusations and back talk are used to justify their behavior. 3. Never give us a chance to know what shit they are saying about us, nor calling us to get our side of anything.
To me, my siblings are a lost cause, until they or I come to a radically different opinion of what has happened. To the few in my family that still care, I can't say ANYTHING Mormon. They might listen to how loopy the JW's are though.
Do you have any epic stories or examples of how hurtful JW's can be when a family member leaves?
TIA,
Former Mormon
P.S. My God had better sex than your God...