My Fathers Memorial Service

by William Penwell 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • xchange

    I remember my mother's service at the KH when I was still in and anything about her lasted only a few minutes and the rest was, as Billy aptly put it, the sales pitch.

    Sadly, my father is reaching that time where I expect his demise shortly. I haven't communicated with him (his stance) for about 4 years due to my DA status . At this point, I'm almost thinking that I would only stay for those few minutes that they talk about him and then just walk out into the lobby and wait the rest out. I've heard/given the sales pitch before.

  • steve2
    Most dubs are limited for funds and are force to use the KH, by the way that they all paid for it themselves with no help from the mother organzation but are now told by the organization how they are to run their memorial service.

    I empathize with those who do not have the money to provide a service at an alternative venue such as a funeral home - yet I also have mixed feelings on this aspect. It seems kind of - dare I say it? - feeble for JWs who do not have the money to feel they have no option but to make use of the Kingdom Hall.

    If lack of money is the primary reason they hold it in the Kingdom Hall I'd wonder where their priorities are. Sure, in theory we should be able to provide our deceased loved ones with a heartfelt service, but it surely needs to also be in line with our ability to pay for it.

    I'd also want to clarify is the issue one of no financially viable alternative to the Kingdom Hall or having it in a Kingdom Hall because that is consistent with yours and/or the deceased person's beliefs?

    They're two different issues IMHO.

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    I will report back to you all later.

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    I have another question, what is the borgs position on what they think is appropriate for handling a person’s ashes? I want to do something with my dad ashes out of respect, even though I believe that the ashes are just that ashes and have no spirit or ghosts attached to them. I just want to do something out of respect but it seems like the other dub family members don't want to do anything.

  • Sulla

    Steve, the Orthodox and Catholic funerals are specifically religious rituals, with only a very short amount of time for a homily/discussion of the deceased. The time for eulogies, in this tradition, is during the wake the night before. The funeral itself is designed to be somewhat de-personalized since it is a religious duty rather than a rememberance.

    A JW funeral is, well, nothing at all.

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    Update, I am on the phone with my dub brother and he has some difficult with my fathers ashes. I just told him that I would like to respect my fathers remains and deal with them accordingly. For people that claim they don't fear death they sure are afraid of it. I think the reason is because as a dub we were never made to come to terms with our own mortality. We were never supposed to die in this system so we never had to face our own mortality. Then when a death in a dub family happens they do not know how to deal with it. My sister in law has already had a few break downs over deaths in her family. I don't believe in anything but yet I can handle it better than my dub relatives because I have come to terms with my own mortality.

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