Newbie Here! :) Physically in, mentally out.

by OneStepOut93 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • OneStepOut93

    Hey everyone. My name is... well.. let's call me Lexi for now. ;) I found this site a long time ago and just decided to join today.

    Okay so I'm 19and living with my JW witness grandma. I am a born-in. I have never fully been into the truth. Until I was about 11 or 12 we always went to meetings. Then my mom got sick (she has a LOT of health problems) and my dad is always on the road (he's a truck driver). So eventually out attendance became low until we finally didn't go anymore. My mom was still as zealous as ever though (and still is), but my dad is pretty laid back I never fit in at the kingdom hall.. we were poor compared to most and since my dad rarely came we were kind of avoided in a sense. The girls were horrible to me because I couldn't afford expensive clothes and I was going through my ugly duckling stage at the time not to mention I was quiet. I always hated meetings. I remember hiding my mom's keys a lot because I really didn't want to go. She always thought (and still does) that I was always fated to die at armageddon. I felt bad because everyone else loved meetings but me, so I was scared of dying when the big day came, and I tried my best to get into it. But I could never understand what they were talking about because they used big words and the bible is pretty poetic so my parents would always get mad at me during meetings for asking what words meant and such. I could write more but, meh, just wanted to let you all know there's a newbie in the house. Just saying hi. :)

  • ingimar

    I will be the first to welcome you. I am one of the few on here who has never been a JW but my family has still been negatively affected because my husband was recently lured back. I am still hoping that I can convince him that his religion is not the truth. He is pretty stubborn though. Your childhood experiences sound similar to those of my stepson. He was forced to attend the hall until he was 13 and hated every minute of it. He was glad when his parents separated and his mom stopped attending because he no longer had to attend. He has never stepped foot in the hall since and he is 27. The sad thing is that, to this day, he is still bitter and angry about his childhood and he is also angry at his dad for attending again.

    The people on this site have been very helpful to me and they will be to you too. Please don't waste any more of your life in this organization!

  • OneStepOut93

    Thank you for the welcome. :) I plan on moving in with my bf soon this year... But I'll be losing my family in the process. :(

  • ÁrbolesdeArabia

    Greeting friend!

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Onestepout93, Welcome aboard! That was really ingenius , hiding your moms keys, so you couldn't go to the Hall! I never heard that one before.

    I look forward to hearing more of your excapades, if you care to share.

    Just Lois

    PS Enjoy being 19. It only comes around once.

  • OneDayillBeFree

    Hey there! Welcome to the forum! It's always nice when new ones join but it's even better when those around my age join too, (at least to me anyway!) (:

    We can all relate a bit to your life. I'm currently in but mentally out since 2 years ago. It sucks but I know I'll be out soon haha not watchtower "soon" but worldy soon! It's good that atleast you have someone whom to go to! That's always a plus.

    They way I'm starting to see & accept it is that when it comes to family in this religion, you know that there's no good way of getting out but the important thing is to let them know, maybe not with words but with your actions that you are happy being out and that you'll love them no matter what. It goes against the teachings of the society and they hate it but at least they'll know!

    Anyway hope you can get out and move on with your life! It's an awesome, crazy world out there and it's waiting!

    Congrats for being free (mentally) and also joining! Look forward to hearing more from you!


  • Zordino

    Welcome to the Board OSO93! I was also a born in and have had similar experiences growing up as a JW. By waking up to the truth about the truth, I hope you can find freedom of mind and spirit.

  • OneStepOut93

    Thanks for all the welcomes everyone! :) Haha Lois, don't worry I'll be sure to share more soon!

    @onedayillbefree thanks for the welcome. :) It's nice to know there are some people my age here too and it is VERY nice to know I have someone to go to as well. I have a friend in my congregation, actually my BEST friend. We both love fantasy and anime(if you know what that is) and we both express our opinions about what we feel is wrong in the cong. I think she wants to leave but won't say anything and doesn't want to dissapoint her parents. I'm SLOWLY and carefully and SLOWLYputting things in her mind that will stick with her and maybe one day she'll fess up to wanting to leave. I talked her into going to see the Hobbit in theaters already and she LOVED it. :)

  • ABibleStudent

    Welcome ((((((OneStepOut93))))))) and hugs. You don't have to lose your family if you plan your fade carefully. Before moving in with your BF, try to learn how to communicate better with your JW family and friends and get a better education. Think more about the pro's and con's of moving in with your BF. He may seem better and safer than living with your JW family today, but things can change in the future. Post what you want to do and ask other JWN members for advice.

    Have you read Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", or (his latest) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs") or visited his website? If you have some money, he may be able to give you better advice over the phone than most of the advice that you will receive here.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • clarity

    Wow another newbie in the house huh?

    Great to have you here.

    How does your BF feel about jw's?

    Hopefully he will be a support for you.

    Maybe a nice quiet Fade would be the way

    to start. Hang in there Lexie.


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