by WildTurkey 20 Replies latest jw friends
I understand your feelings about wanting to make a complete
permanent break. However, I always counsel against DA'ing
yourself.
If you now see the evil in the organization, don't DA yourself
and play into the Society's hands. Stay in the organization
and help others to get out! That's how you overcome the wrongs
you committed. Help others to find freedom!
metatron
Wild Turkey,
I'm currently in the same situation. I've been wanting to DA myself but at the advise of many here on this forum I haven't. The one piece of advise I can give you is to listen to what others on this forum are saying to you and do more research regarding the matter before you submitt anything to anyone. Think things out carefully because writing a DA letter could make matters worse for you. Weigh your options carefully, each one of us are under different circumstances.
Here is the thread I started regarding this same issue:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=21720&site=3
I hope it helps.
2SYN,
Do you have any advise for us regarding that legal letter? How do I find an attorney that understand the JWs and why I need this letter written or how it should be written?
"We would not refuse to treat one as a brother because he did not believe the Society is the Lord's channel... There should be full liberty of conscience." -- WT April 1, 1920, p. 100, 101
I was DA'd by thembecause I believe they wanted to get rid of me but I hadn't actually done anything wrong (other than disagree with them)
How do I feel now? Pretty good ... we're all definitely happier and less stressed than when we were in the org, that's for sure.
The main thing is to do what YOU want to do - don't feel pressured, don't worry about what other people may think, don't rush.
I agree with Simon here. You do what YOU want, but think through the pros/cons of either choice.
Personally, although part of me wanted to write a DA letter (for personal closure) I didn't because, after realizing that I didn't want to be part of their group anymore I didn't want to follow their rules about how NOT to be part of their group.
Ultimately, it didn't make a difference in my case either way. I am viewed as DAd which is the same as DFd. And the official Watchtower public line of "those who simply cease to be involved with the religion are not shunned" only applies to "inactive" ones, not DA/DFd ones (as seen in my earlier thread on being shunned from my sister's wedding reception).
===========================
For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com
Quotes,
So you are not DAd or DFd but you are still viewed as DAd? By whom, may I ask?
"We would not refuse to treat one as a brother because he did not believe the Society is the Lord's channel... There should be full liberty of conscience." -- WT April 1, 1920, p. 100, 101
The Society has this little loop hole all figured out. Even if you do not write a letter they can still announce that you have disassociated yourself by your conduct
SO a letter isn't really necessary if it becomes known that you are living a lifestyle that runs contrary to their beliefs.
The most frequent application of this is if you join another religion or move in with someone that is not your marriage partner.
The announcement would be the same. Brother xxxx has disassociated himself from the Christian Congregation.
They pretty much say...fine, you don't want to cooperate, we'll just do it ourselves. However this type of announcment can and has been prevented with a well worded letter from a lawyer.
Just more food for thought
Kismet
Hi, my sister was not an active witness for a year and a half, the elders found out through someone gossiping that my sister had a guy living with her so they disfellowshipped her, by the way she was living in another state when they did it, and i know of other cases where people have drifted away from the truth only to be disfellowshipped many years later when they find out about such a persons lifestyle.
Chezza,
That happened to me, I had drifted away for a nunber of years, and then moved away into another state (about 300 miles). I had not been to a meeting for over 4 years and was away from the congregation I was suposedly associated with for about 2 years. I had gotten divorced, and then I found a woman I liked and we got married. So my ex obvously knew about it and took it to the elders, they wrote me a letter, telling me to show up at a judicial mettings in one week. I wrote them back and said that if they pay for my hotel, and my meals I would gladly show up. Well, needless to say they wouldn't so I didn't. I most likely wouldn't have gone to the Kangaroo Court anyway, their DF'ing never harmed me, I had already made a whole new circle of friends and had really not had any contact with any JW's in over 2 years (with the exception of my DRUNK for an ex-wife), so it really made no matter to me.
Seedy
Hi WildTurkey. When I DA'd, I did it by letter, a copy to the Society, the Kingdom Hall and others that personally affected my decision. I went all out, citing scriptures, Washington State Law and even Watchtower articles, about five pages in all. The only thing that got paid any attention to was the last line, that I could no longer allow myself to be associated with the JWs and the fact that I forgot to actually sign the letter.
Of course, it was announced immediately. Then, I received a certified letter asking for my signature. I ignored it. Two elders, including the one I studied with, came by a few weeks later, with the letter in tow, asking for my signature. Since they woke me from my nap, I got a bit ornery with them. When they said it wasn't "legal" without my signature, I replied that it was legal enough to announce publicly, so don't worry about it. They pressed a bit more and finally got to "The Faithful and Discreet Slave wants us to get your signature." I just couldn't help myself, so I replied, "if he really wants it that bad, tell him to come by and get it." With that, they literally stormed out the door, with me behind them saying, "come again, nice to see you again, Bob!" (pure sarcasm on my part.)
My point is, don't waste your time writing a long letter and citing scripturtes or Watchtowers, unless it makes you feel better doing so. In the end, whatever you have to say will just be ignored.
For me, I prefer a letter so as to remove any control they may think they have over me and to make it known, as publicly as I can, that I reject the Watchtower Society.
If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?
FADE AWAY, and when they call you just say your not interested anymore! I think you`ve got some good advice already and I think you should decide for yourself. No matter how you do it the further along in time we go the further away you will become from your decision and the less it will mean then. After 17 years away I hardley remember what I believed as a JW and now find it quiet funny yet very relieved!
Beans
