Is There A Part Of You Still Left In The Organization?

by ÁrbolesdeArabia 22 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • ÁrbolesdeArabia

    Every soldier entering the War Zone leaves behind a little piece of themself. The Gulf War is estimated to cost the V.A. Billions of dollars in disability because of the affects the War has had on these young and middle age soldiers. Some reports estimate forty percent of all soldiers serving multipule tours in Iraq, Afghanisatan are suffering from PTSD and other maladies.

    The Watchtower is at War with Satan's wicked system of things, using all means necessary to keep you alive. The "Tower" provided each member with "Body Suits", "Helmets" and "Theocratic Teachings and Mentoring of their Special Force Members". Whether you were disfellowshiped or disassociated, faded or just stopped going, do you feel you left something behing in the bunkers of the Kingdom Hall? Possibly in the trenches in the field service or serving the troops as the appointed company man?

    What is a brother or sister living off the good graces of the Watchtower, suppose to do if they figure out it's a lie? I ask myself why Ray Franz or Ed Dunlap did not keep their mouth quite when they could have lived like kings or little gods? Is the price of a conscience and freedom from tyrannies of mankind worth everything they lost financially? Those two men got screwed along with their wives and family. How do the creeps at the top sleep at night, knowing they do more bad than good?

    I am trying to regain my sense of self worth and think about the future in a better way. I fight the tendancy to think each negative event must be a "sign" and fight the fear the Organization put into each one of us. The guilt is slowing fading even though there was nothing to feel all the guilt I had in the first place. We experienced a War Zone, something only those of us who went through it can relate to. How long does it take before you don't think of the life you left behind in the Organization?

  • Phizzy

    Somebody on here posted the idea that for every year you were in, it takes a month to recover, so, if you were in for 24 years, two years after properly leaving, you can expect to be free of WT influence and memories to a great degree.

    I guess this is just a "rule of thumb", it will be different for everyone, but that certainly seemed to be true in my case, after the prescribed time, I felt almost as though I had never been a JW, I had got rid of all the "feelings" that struck initially after leaving, I had got rid of any WT way of thinking, and I did not miss any former "friends", or indeed miss anything about the religion.

    What I will not let go of is my anger at the leaders of the W.T They are guilty of so much, including murder when you look at their Blood Doctrine.

    I will always be someone who was a born-in JW, but the scars are very faded, and I will not let the W.T blight one more day of my life, they have stolen enough of it already.

  • Satanus

    Yes, the wt tries to maintain a war mentality of immanent danger and world conflagration soon. I have been out for a few yrs. There is absolutely no guilt, for me. What did i leave behind? A world, really. Going from the wt world view to reality was like a transplant from one planet to another, for me. I try to stay as much in the present, as possible.


  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    Every-one reacts so differently there may not even be 2 answers the same.

    If you still post 30 years after being an atheist then I believe there must be a residue of damage inside that person that will probably never go.

    Others I know have moved on so far from the Watchtower it only registers the occasional blip on their radar.

    Personally, I don't know what the problem is or why I don't put it in my past completely. I went to a Catholic boarding school but I have never looked up an ex Catholic web site.

    I like to think that it is because ex-jws are actually the nicest people on the planet and why would I want to give up those kind of friendships. The people who know and understand me and accept me for who I am even when my own family have rejected me.

  • Xanthippe

    I try to stay as much in the present, as possible.

    Yes so do I Satanus. If we don't they still own us don' they? Living well is the best revenge.

  • ÁrbolesdeArabia

    I saw someone all dressed up in meeting clothes, I did my best to sneak past them without getting noticed. The long drawn out conversations of "when are you coming back? We all miss you (Yeah right, I can tell by your attempts of checking up on me!) and worry about your family! You don't want your family to die do you?" No, I do my best to avoid these attempts at spiritually restarting me, they leave the choke on high and flood my carb with too kick starts in the stomach. The old geezers are the worst with tact and usually they don't have a mental filter that prevents them from saying the craziest crap!

    Thank's for your ideas and posts, it's going to take time to deal with all the weirdos and good people I still run across.

  • Vidiot

    You can take the boy out of the WT, but it's a little harder to take the WT out of the boy.

    I can't see myself going back, but I still have the odd trigger moment.

  • cedars

    From what I have seen, I don't think anyone recovers fully. Anyone who says they have is, I suspect, in denial. Of course, if you've only been in for a short period it will be much easier for you to make a "clean break," but if we are talking years or even decades of servitude to a cult then you can't just "erase" all that from your subsconscious.

    I've been out for two years. I've written numerous articles and produced many videos that are critical of the Society. I've even started writing a book! Even so, I still catch myself thinking in "JW-mode" sometimes, i.e. is all of this a mistake? Have I missed something? Am I just being greedy or ignorant? Surely it isn't all that bad?

    Make no mistake - cults leave scars that never completely heal.


  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    I would say the guilt and fear is gone from my life now but I still feel anger towards being manipulated into wasting so much of my time at meetings and door to door work when I could have been watching TV or on the beach or just enjoying life.

    I also wish I could get back all the money I wasted on donations, plus petrol, flights and Hotels for assemblies. €600 each, minimum!

    On the other hand I might still be a 60 a day smoker and I would never have had the courage to emmigrate to Spain with 2 small children without the belief, albeit false, that some supernatural sky daddy was looking after me.

    I got off pretty light compared to some I just wish it had happened sooner when I was in better health and could do more without their constraints.

  • suavojr

    We will always have the scars to show. Is a similar feeling of loosing the people we have loved due to death. You try to move on and forget they are not with us, but you will always come across situations of Déjà vu.We will always have the scars to show. Is a similar feeling of loosing the people we have loved due to death. You try to move on and forget they are not with us, but you will always come across situations of Déjà vu.

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