I've come to the conclusion that many doctrines of the WTS are unscriptural after many years of privately disagreeing with some of them but feeling that the society was "mostly right" and still being used by Jehovah. This turning point has happened in the last year or so. Since then, I've done more research and basically confirmed my impression.
I'm now in a difficult position. I'm born-in. My father is a convert, but my mother and her family are born-in, multiple generations. I barely know my non-Witness family. Since one of the things I disagreed about previously was higher education, I have a career and non-witness friends. I recently moved to a new area for work, so I'm not especially well-attached to anyone in this new congregation, and I know it would be difficult or impossible to convince any of them to really read their Bibles. Basically, my main concern is for my family and a handful of other Witness friends.
My father is an elder, but in the past has shown signs of free-thinking. He's an intelligent professional man who became a Witness basically because of a perceived "miracle" (i.e. coincidence) at a difficult time in his life. I have a hard time reading him, if he really believes some of the more outlandish stuff or not. Not too long ago, he left his old congregation of many years and moved to the opposite side of the country after a complicated, protracted and locally scandalous judicial matter, but I do not think he is disillusioned with the organization as a whole - he has recently become very active as an elder in the new congregation and with various other WTS-related activities. My intuition is that he's got his private doubts about WTS teachings, but, like me at one time, thinks they are the "least wrong" religion and is trapped in the paradigm that there is one least-wrong denomination he must serve. He knows I read a lot of non-WT theological / bible history publications and has never commented negatively about it, and we will even have friendly arguments on Bible topics sometimes. These aren't winner-and-loser type debates; we usually end up agreeing that there are merits to both positions or that it can't really be decided for sure and it's not critical. Beyond those implicit in the WTS's absurd literalism about science and history as reflected in the Bible, I've never challenged at WT doctrine in front of him, though.
My mom, on the other hand, is a kool-aid drinker, as far as I can tell. I know dad can influence her because he got her to knock off her opposition to me going to college years ago, but he might have just pulled rank/"headship", I don't know for sure.
I feel like I need to tell my dad about my real beliefs, in the hope of getting him out, or at least getting him thinking. I am not sure if his actual salvation is in danger - right now I'm tending to think that good people in all religions, who did good and worshiped as best they knew how, will get an eternal "good ending," but I feel like I owe it to him to be level with him, and am struggling in general with questions about what my obligations are as someone who knows WTS teachings are wrong. I've been able to restrain myself so far mainly in the name of prudence - that if I do something to get myself DF'd, I will eliminate the possibility of reaching many people I could have helped if I'd been more discrete. I also would like to get the parents off my back about spirituality - I used to pioneer and stuff, but since discovering the WTS teaches so many unscriptural things, I've barely been able to motivate myself to get out in service but to place bibles with people or slip an innocuous Awake issue into a laundromat. I've thusfar blamed my new work situation, which is true, but I won't have that excuse forever. I couldn't bear to teach someone that they had to die to avoid a blood transfusion or that some old men in Brooklyn speak with the voice of the One True God, and that his message for mankind is that he's going to kill most of them Real Soon Now, since 1914.
Apart from trying to avoid being shunned by my family, and in particular my parents, the one thing I am concerned about is not being able to give talks. I love teaching about the Bible, and people react very positively to my talks, probably because they don't consist of reading a couple paragraphs from the Watchtower. (I've relied on various Bible commentaries for years for talk preparation.)
Also, the congregation I am in now is mostly educated and super-liberal (would love to share some funny annecdotes, but they might be personally identifiable...) which makes it harder to leave, because they aren't doing anything particularly cultist-like. (I don't think that the WTS is actually a destructive cult except maybe at Bethel; it's sort of in Hassan's gray zone.)
Where can I find an alternative to giving parts at the meetings, and in particular the theocratic ministry school? Any other churches with exegetical "open mic night" so to speak? Or do I just have to find interested people and start a non-denominational bible study group? I realize these things could compromise my fade if I do them locally, but I'm thinking more long-term or if my dad turns me in anyway after I tell him.
Thank you for your thoughts.