My Crazy Mother!

by Ranchette 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Farkel

  {{{{{{Ranchette}}}}}}

  : There was a time not so long ago that I would have felt obligated to be her captive audience so she could dish out all the abuse she wanted.

  : I was more than patient with her and should have hung up on her sooner!

  If it's any consolation, my own mother disowned me the day after we buried my father. (She was not able to make the burial because she wanted my dub sister to hire a limo for her convenience. Fact.) They were married to each other for 55 years (my Dad was an idiot for that, and I told him so twenty five years ago. He was a good man who liked to live with a wicked woman.)

  She disowned me because I told her I had taken fifty years of "child" abuse from her, and that now my father was gone I would tolerate it no longer. She has spent fifty years calling me a loser, worthless, stupid and a failure. She did this when I was growing up in her home, while I was pioneering, and since I've left her pet cult. Almost every time she would call me up (3 times a week), I would hang up and be depressed. My own mother made a business out of calling her oldest child and only son a worthless person. So, I disfellowshipped her in my mind. I haven't talked to her since the night of September 10th, and she doesn't even know how to contact me and torment me.

  She is alone now, angry, and has no one else left to abuse. Good.

  Farkel
• 

  Lady Lee

  Ranchette - I'm sorry for what you are going through. It is so difficult to deal with them when they get out of control like that. I too have had to stop contact with my mother for the same reasons. Even being DFed didn't stop her abusive tyraids. Finally one day while she was in another of her "Why can't you come back" speeches I told her that I knew she was in a cult and had proof.

  And presto that was it. She has not spoken to me since. She has even moved and not let me know where she is. I was a little insulted by that one but it has been a blessing.

  I lost my mother many many years ago. What I had instead was a woman who controlled and manipulated me for her benefit. Life is much better without that.

  Farkel - you took the words off my fingers (((Farkel))) to you too

  -----------------------------

  Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
  Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
  Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
  Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002
• 

  HoChiMin

  Ranchette,

  Sorry to here your mother is so indoctrinated.

  Another example of the WT cult damaging family relations with the stone wall and blinders mind control. It's always us vs. them or Catholic vs. witness , they have to have someone to hate.
  Sometimes the mental pressure of controlling another person is infused in Witnesses they don't even know the trait is there inside them. Remember, she thinks she will be saving your life from the WT killer god, with no logical way of explaining it to you she gets emotional. Then the WT auto mind shut down occurs because it protects that little world they have going on inside their heads from the evil outside world.

  Witnesses have been reduced to a non thinking group of zombies waiting for all others on the planet to die. That thought alone must surface as bizarre occasionally only to be repressed with the daydream (nightmare) WT training.

  HCM
• 

  MoeJoJoJo

  (((((Ranchette)))))(((((Farkel)))))
  (((((Everyone else going through this right now)))))

  These are the type of people the JW religion breeds.
  They talk about having love, yeah right. It definitely conditional love.
  My husband and I have also had to deal with family members losing control and telling us that we are going to die and our children will too.

  Hang in there!!!
• 

  garybuss

  Farkel, we have much in common. Sorry. So many of us live without the approval or respect of a parent.

  It seems a common thing with children of Witnesses. Might it be due to the high percentage of members with mental illness as Dr. Jerry Bergman and other's write about?

  I think you are great. Your mother misses much by not accepting you.
  
  gb
• 

  gilwarrior

  Although I am no longer a Witness, I am glad to say that my mother still loves me and doesn't really bother me about leaving the org.

  "I have so much love to give, but no one to give it to."

  William H. Macy - "Magnolia"
• 

  ARoarer

  Ranchie, looks like mom is alive and well!!! You're doing fine trying to stick to issues unrelated to Bible Doctrine, like concern for her physical health. Her wanting to keep a secret and not tell about the bad things her religion is doing to you and Bill is so like the perpetrative way WT followers act. This way she is fee to spirtitually and emotionally hurt you and your family with emotional blackmail and hurtful head games without the knowledge of her parents. Stick to your boundaries you are doing fine.
  (((((((Ranchette)))))))

  Love, B
• 

  TR

  Ranchette and Farkel,

  I can't imagine what it's like to have those kinds of relationships with parents. Fortunately neither ny parents or my inlaws were JWs.

  Glad you two are here.

  TR
• 

  Mulan

  Wow! Deja Vu here. Mom never screamed at me, but we had some heated phone conversations, where one of us would hang up on the other. Things are better now, but she is nearly 90 too. I feel for you, Ranchette.

  She is living with us now, and the other day, at dinner, we were all talking about shunning, and the Bryant family tragedy. She agreed it was horrible, Idisfellowhsipping is one of their beliefs she does not agree with) but that this country has freedom of religion, and it applies to her too. She is right.

  At her age, I think it would be worse to have her see the truth of things. Being part of the JW's gives her some comfort, although there hasn't been a visitor here, for her, for about 10 days. I would have to say that she is happier now than when they were visiting her all the time. She sees us, and her grandkids, and great grandkids all the time.

  Pierced Angel: I laughed out loud at your post. Mom also LOVES QVC!!

  Marilyn (aka Mulan)
  "No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers
  
• 

  teenyuck

  {{{{{Ranchette and Farkel}}}}},

  Your mothers are a combination of mine. When I read the Subject line, I thought perhaps I had somehow written this in my sleep!

  I understand and I am so sorry for you both.

  Ran, my mother calls me like that too. It is awful. You are doing the right thing by not losing control; it would feed her fear that somehow Satan got you.

  Farkel, I think we are related. My mother did exactly as yours...the never ending stream of hateful words. She now claims she never called my sister and I total losers or called us any names. Selective memory.

  My mother does stay in touch with me, but only because she has no other family to talk to. She has cut off numerous family members (all dubs) with her hateful words. Then she tries to turn the story around and blame the victim! I have come to the point of resignation...she is nuts. I am convinced she is crazy...perhaps not enough to be locked up, however, she is a hateful, selfish woman who has damaged all family relations.

  Then she claims to be a good dub! She is the exact opposite of what any christian would call good.

  The dubs brought out the worst in her. I will never forgive them or her for the way my sister and I were treated.