Has disproving the "Truth" become an obsession for you at times?

by Pyramid Scheme 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Pyramid Scheme
    Pyramid Scheme

    I was curious if anyone else has gone through a similar experience.

    When I became inactive 4 years ago, I went through a period of not being able to focus on just about anything, other than doing tremendous amounts of research to prove to myself what my beliefs were, and to clearly identify my issues with the JW organization. I was mad - and i was on a mission to build the ultimate case against the WT. However, having read the fine advice on here, I backed off with my family, since it would have just gotten ugly.

    I avoided posting on here for years, and had cut down my research and put it on the back burner.

    However, I still felt a need to "witness" to my family and to have an open discussion with my wife. She knew i left in disgust, but never knew the true depth of why I was so disgusted with the religion. So, having seen an opportunity, I re-opened Pandora's Box - I dug out all my old research, I started coming on here again, and even decided to finally start posting.

    I had a wonderful talk with my wife - she is extremely clear on my stance, my viewpoints, and my feelings. It was difficult, but it has in many ways brought us closer together. However, I find myself on here constantly - doing research, looking up different opinions, and enjoying the discussion. I have re-read both Ray Franz books, done my own extreme in-depth research, and can discuss my beliefs clearly on any JW doctrinal subject.

    Sometimes, I have to tell myself to switch gears to a different topic! I think its two things for me:

    #1) I left bitter and angry, which I really no longer feel. However, I still felt a need to "cleanse" my system of the Borg, and the process has been cathartic to say the least. I am more knowledgable about the WT and JW doctrine than I ever was as an Elder, Pioneer, (Insert Other Silly Titles)...... I have read Russell. Rutherford. A lot of Knorr-era Books. With this site and others, I can quote WT's right off the top of my head....its scary!

    #2) I am still surrounded by family and some friends who are "in", so my shields are always up. I wanted to be able to clearly express my thoughts to them in a kind and loving (not attacking) way, in order to stimulate their thinking on JW-related topics. I have learned a lot about the "cult" mindset, and how its hard to get people out. I know 10 years ago, despite doubts, fear, discouragement, and wanting a better way, a direct attack would have scared me off. I am always searching for that "A-HA!" topic to discuss with them.

    Any similar thoughts/experiences?

  • tornapart

    PS.. yes, I think I know what you mean. At first I wanted to debunk everything! I was so mad I'd been lied to, that history had been covered up and rewritten, that the NWT really was a false translation etc. I'm surprised my hubby didn't divorce me!

    I've toned it down now and I'm in a better place but I still have to come here and still do some research simply to keep being able to see through the propaganda. As I still feel the need to go to some meetings for family's sake I don't want to get sucked in again. It could be easy to drop my guard if I didn't have this place to come to, to keep my head clear and my feet firmly planted!

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    I had 12 giga bytes of stuff from the internet saved in a scrap book on my computer.

    I too have toned it down and my frantic search for affirmation it is all lies has diiminished. I still like to keep up to date though and spend waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much time on this site and a few others.

    How else would I be able to help others if I do not stay up-to-date with Jehovah's train wreck of a chariot flip flopping all over the place.

  • gingerbread

    I echo your thoughts - both Pyramid Scheme and tornapart. If you were raised in the org with most family "in" as well as a lifetime of friendships, it's difficult to keep quiet. Two years ago I began my earnest research because of my own refusal to accept many organizational procedures and requirements - as man made/non-biblical. Mildly expressing my concerns and sharing evidence - over time - has helped my spouse to see the realities of the WTS. We now attend about half of the Sunday meetings - because of aged parents.

    Remember: the WTS and the congregation's elders (put in place to enforce WT directives) want you to be emotional and confrontational. If one expresses doubts to them, their stance will change from "concerned" to aggressively offensive in a heart beat. They want to push you out of the congregation and force a separation of you from your family and friends. They want you to get disfellowshipped or for you to disassociate yourself. We've decided not to give them the power. Our lives are ours and we've decided to believe what we want to believe....and to maintain our relationships with family.

  • Phizzy

    Your story is similar to mine. P.S, I was searching for a way to bring down the W.T, and I researched like mad, I think the guys and gals who have done so on here are all better qualified than nearly all active JW's to lecture on matters WT related.

    Most asleep JW's cannot explain their own doctrines, and any explanation, poor as it is, is more often than not out of date !

    I no longer need to prove the WT wrong, in fact my default position is they are wrong on everything, however you look at it, from a Bible point of view or otherwise.

    I know they might have one small point correct, but that matters not, I will learn that from somewhere else, I am 100% sure that all their uinique teachings are false.

    I no longer discuss it with family, I have given up, they are determined to stay in regardless, and I do believe the older ones really would be worse off to face up to the fact their lives have been wasted, and to lose all their "friends" , however conditional such friendships are.

    If ever a younger family member comes to me and really wants help, I am here for them. I am sure a few of them are aware of TTATT in some measure, but they are married in, all family are in, and all their social contacts are in, they ain't droppin' it anytime soon.

    The journey away from the WT has been a rocky road for me, and for Mrs Phizzy, we were both born in, and in for decades, but we are much closer and happier now than when we were JW's

    I am addicted to this place though, I read less on here than I did though, I only read threads that interest me now, at one time I read the lot !

    When we were young we were told to "Make the truth your own", there was even a Kingdom Dirge about it, I think it is important that those leaving do so with thr real "Truth", or you can end up like a distant relative of mine, he left the JW's many years ago, but still believes a lot of it, sad really, he hasn't moved on.

    So, all that research was a good thing, for you and for me.

  • DesirousOfChange

    I think what comes up in a person's mind is, "If I was lied to about this, or if they were wrong about that, then what other things have they messed up on as well?" Whatever that 1st things was, 607, the UN, flip flops, whatever it was that first opened your eyes.......it leads you down the path to where you cannot accept anything without real proof -- even the fundamental things that you thought could never change.

    I've had the problem of controlling my tongue about it all. (Sounds like a WT Study article, doesn't it.) If you go around shouting it to the rooftops, you're gonna end up shouting it to the wrong person and the sh!ts gonna hit the fan! You have to learn to shut up and drop little subtle hints but only with the "right" people. And you might be surprised by who turns out to NOT be the right kind of people. The deer-in-the-headlight-look is the warning sign to STFU!

    [Edit] LOOK AT THESE POSTS -- in less than 30 minutes, 6 experiences so similar that it gives me that feeling of deja vu. Until the internet, this would not be possible. From 2 months to 2 years on JWN.


  • moshe

    20-25 years ago were my prime years to raise hell with the Jws-- I pretty much ignore them now.

  • moshe

    Although, this morning I ran across a UK JW photgrapher bragging about his KH wedding shoots- I sent him an email - with "anniversary shoot" as the subject line-

    --Nice photos I see here! Next year, I hope you do a special 100th anniversary commemorative shoot of the Jehovah's Witnesses celebrating , 1914-2014= 100 years of , nothing has happened yet! It's bound to be a jolly good year of remembering all the old Watchtower teachings that didn't work out- like , "millions now living will never die (1925) and , who can forget, the 'Stay alive until 1975!'. Keep a stiff upper lip ol' chap and just keep doing what the faithful slave class- oops, I mean the Governing Body (new light-2012) tells you to do. It's your life to waste.

  • wasblind

    No, it has become a game, because that's what it is to the WTS

    they been gamin' folks for over a hundred years

    The truth can't be disproved; But the " troof " can be torn all to damn pieces

    Hey Moshe

    I'm lookin' forward to more of your contributions on your 1914 photos

    that one is gonna be hard to top. But I look forward anyway

  • 00DAD

    Yes, but it's understandable. Most of us spent years believing that as JWs we had "The Truth." We believed this even when we were told things that didn't make sense. We told others this in our comments, meeting parts and in the "ministry." We held on to these beliefs even when we had doubts. We probably doubted ourselves at first before we finally admitted that the errors were in fact on the part of the WTBTS and its "theology."

    So it's only natural that we go through a period of obsessive and compulsive behavior re-confirming that our own mental faculties are trustworthy. There are also usually periods of embarrassment and admitting we were fooled and then anger at the WTBTS for fooling us.

    It's part of the healing process.

    It's good.


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