please help

by joyfulfader 31 Replies latest jw experiences

  • joyfulfader

    I am posting to ask this group of wonderful people to help my friend who is with me now. we are discussing her serious doubts and the barriers she is facing as the wife of an elder with small children. she is desperately looking for help to pull away without causing dissention in her otherwise very good marriage. she is truly looking for help to find answers. i know there are threads and experiences regarding this issue and any direction and or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

  • Lozhasleft

    Ok. She needs to be discreet and careful, that's the first thing. Tell her to read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz, and to drip feed her elder husband as per Steve Hassan's Cult Behaviour Control books. She can enlighten him using the scriptures and the WT history, so that he doesn't realise how much she disagrees with the GB. Good luck to her, and well done to you for helping a friend to break free from the cult.

    Loz x

  • Lozhasleft

    Just to add, strategy isn't for deceit, there's no doubt it's a cult, controlling people, but those ensnared to the mind control can't escape easily so tactics are useful to help them out.

    Loz x

  • joyfulfader

    thanks Loz...she is searching former threads now for info and wrote down the books to read. discreetly of course.

  • 00DAD

    What Loz said.

  • Ding

    Make sure she understands that things that have a major impact on her might not affect her husband at all.

    She should keep alert for things he might say that indicate that something is bothering HIM.

  • DNCall

    If they've had any conversations where they both expressed some criticism of anything organization-related, she might revisit those subjects with him, and build from there. Of course broaching those subjects would best be handled in a conversation already in progress that could naturally lead to those subjects.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi joyfulfader, Although reading Raymond Franz's books (i.e., "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Christian Freedom") are good books for JWs to see what is wrong with the WTBTS, I do not believe that it is as helpful as learning ways to overcome the BITE control techniques that the WTBTS uses on JWs and recruits.

    I would suggest that your friend read Steve Hassen's books ( "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones to Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Organizations"), and visiting Steve Hassan's website, visiting websites like JWfacts, reading threads like 'The BEST way to "wake up" a JW', and suggesting that your friend join JWN to post regularly for emotional support and additional ideas to help her husband awaken. If she owns a Kindle or iPad, she could buy the "Freedom of Mind" (Steve Hassan's latest book) as an e-book on

    Best of Wishes for your friend to leave the WTBTS with her family together.

    Peace be with you and your friend and everyone, who you love,


  • clarity

    Joyful .... good for you that you are helping your friend.

    Some may hesitate to say anything because of fear of

    trouble from the cult !


    If you look at the top of this page , you will see SEARCH bar....

    type in your subject and click! There is a ton of info.


    Reassure her that her 'feelings' are normal, it really is a roller


    Very best wishes to you both and her husband, so many are

    waking up from the delusion! If I remember correctly, the stats

    so far show that 2/3rds of jws ........ leave!


  • jgnat

    Hi, good advice. Tell your friend that I am a non-JW married to my Witness husband. There is strategy involved because you don't want to "spook" the cultist, but keep him open and listening to his wife. She can ask questions. Are they conducting a family study night? Perhaps they should start. She can direct to subjects to question and discuss (rather than read and regurgitate). There is a lot of work just in helping the spouse to give himself permission to think.

    How I Helped My Family Leave the Jehovah's Witnesses

    A couple years ago a WT article encouraged a study of the Beatitudes. I think this could be a great conversation starter.

    Here's a question for you. If a person self-declares himself to be one of the meek, is he still being humble?

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