lets see the same level of invasion in questioning the society when it does a 'flip-flop' on some idea!
Sexual Wrongdoing & The Commeddee of Elders
Can you guys be more specific on what questions you were asked by the commeeddeee of elders?
I want to hate them from the depths within (not that i already dont)
at mine they didnt ask and I didnt tell.
I said I slept with a woman to end my marriage and that was that. zip the lip.
I told them I was not sorry, it was deliberate, I had no fealings of having 'hurt jehovah' ( i said the queen of england was more relevant than him and she wasnt interested either)
They asked ME what they should do so I said ''disfellowship me''
BUT at an earlier JC they were VERY interested in me telling just how sexy a lap dance was from a stripper...
(These were men who were my friends till i left the wife 2 years before)
I had a JC ask that question.
Of all the pathetic things that elders do, asking such meaningless intimate questions is the thing that troubles me the most. It is salacious and titilating for them and deeply traumatic and damaging for their victim (the poor jw in the hot seat).
Picture this: a young attractive 17 year old sister bought up in the truth, a regular pioneer, and in good standing gets a bit carried away with a young bloke who is studying. Her father is an elder and the elder body is a long standing cabal of four great mates. The four families are always socialising with each other.
The young bloke goes to the elders and confesses their "sin" and the elders go all judicial. Her father tells her that he is disgusted in her and that she has shamed the family. He tells her that she will get no sympathy from him. And he leaves at the mercy of the other three elders.
At the jc kangaroo court the three other elders who have been her family friends all her life sit her down and proceed to put her through the most disgusting and traumatic experience. She is asked to recount every aspect of the "sin". They ask her to go over and over it again and again trying to trip her up. They ask the most intimate details that in my view are completely over the top. They ask her if she has climaxed. She had no idea what they speaking about and on and on it went. She was deeply emotionally upset.
Flash forward many years and that 17 yo is now a mature woman, no longer a jw, but that experience has left it's mark. It still upsets her today. I am still angry about it as well. I think back to what it must have been like for her to have sit in that room with those three slavering, drooling, sexually-repressed perverts pressing her for every sexual detail they could wring out of her.
Tiktaalik - great name BTW :0)
I know someone who went through this ordeal, but not because she got "carried away" but because she was sexually assualted. She was given a reproof and had restrictions placed on her. This consumed her well into adulthood.
I know of one 16 year old girl that was asked after confessing to oral sex: Did you spit or swallow? Disgusting!
this is all so sick......i've never been an elder or a man, but seriously......a couple of people did the deed, end of conversation. if they simply asked the individual how he felt about the circumstance - mentally, emotionally - that's one thing....but all this detail is just plain sick, especially when you think that some of the dudes are probably getting off just listening and contemplating it.......i find it appalling.
At this point in my life, if I were called to a JC and I decided to play along, I'd give them a story that would make them regret asking. I have a vivid imagination and a fantastic poker face. They'd hear stories that would make Dr. Ruth squirm.
If a hounder pulls that rubbish on me, that thing is going to be in for a miserably dry hearing. As I have nothing to lose by getting disfellowshipped except the opportunity to waste hounder time and worry, I will be as likely to focus gray energy on them, and program it to cause bad luck for that hounder for life. Another thing I could do is vibrate a rune and program that energy to give the hounders bad luck and the congregation to fall apart. I doubt there is anything exciting for them to extract from something like that.