The Crushed I get you - it was hell leaving the cult. I was a nervous woman made pathetic by stress and that male dominated society, never allowed to be myself. Always ill. I am unrecognizable now. I book holidays and get on planes by myself. Put electrical equipment together by myself. I'm the bread -winner and I pay the bills and that tiny shivering person has gone. The transition was hell but I am never going back. Who was that woman?