Would I be the punching bag?

by NeverKnew 28 Replies latest social relationships

  • jgnat

    There was an article just this year that basically said any troubles in an "unequally yoked" marriage is their own fault. My JW hubby, when he has asked for advice, was told it was his bed, go lie in it. A witness's attitude in a mixed marriage is to be both quietly miserable and patient in the extreme, in order to win over the recalcitrant spouse "without a word". As the years have gone by and it has become clear that I am not an easy mark, the Witness's greetings at the hall are ever more forced.

    If you haven't done so yet, read the chapter on mixed marriages in the "Secret of Family Happiness" book.

    I've countered this stupidity by successfully counselling my husband not to count on the elders for advice. We rely on each other.

  • jgnat

    Instead of punching bag, how about Jezebel?

  • BluesBrother

    If this man wants to marry you, he is going to have to love you enough to go right against everything that his religion teaches, and his cong. elders are going to take him down for a very serious piece of "counselling" , although it is not a disfellowshipping sin.

    2 Cor 6. 14 -15

    "14 Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness? 15 Further, what harmony is there between Christ and Be′li·al? Or what portion does a faithful person have with an unbeliever? "

    Wt 2003 10/15 p32

    "How could a Christian become unevenly yoked? One way would be if a Christian chose a marriage mate who did not share his or her beliefs. Such a union would prove uncomfortable for both parties, the couple disagreeing on fundamental issues."

    If he is thinking of ever becoming a Min Servant, or "progressing in the truth", he can kiss that goodbye if he marries you. Of course, a wise man will say that that is worth it, because you are who you are.....but does he think that way?

  • Theocratic Sedition
    Theocratic Sedition

    Another thing is his faith in God will be questioned by marrying an unbeliever. I've heard it said that someone who marries an unbeliever shouldn't expect any blessings from Jehovah because by his/her choice of a marriage mate that one has already showed a lack of respect for God's direction.

  • jgnat

    "Of course, a wise man will say that that is worth it, because you are who you are." - BB

    So true, and hubby deserves a kiss for this one. He essentially said the same to the elders, and acknowledged that he was giving up any opportunity to "progress" at the hall. His best hope was to have a good life with me here on earth.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    oh yes u will be marginilized. Either by pushing u into the cult or getting your wife away from u.

    In my last meetings at a new cong, my wife would dress the part. I refused to wear a suit. Everyone there assumed I was a worldly boyfriend, despite the rings on our fingers. I was offered countless bible studies, despite my objecting that I was already baptized. Some would say it wasn't a valid baptism. Great sell right. When I would point out that my baptism took place at an assembly hall in Woodland hills, I still got skeptical looks. Once an elder walked up to speak with my wife. He had his back to me which made my wife clearly uncomfortable. I tapped him on the shoulder and reminded him that she is married to me, and if he has anything to say he should do it to the family head. I could tell he was going to give me the, "This is JW information" but I ended my sentance with, "A baptized brother as the family head". You should have seen his face

    Why? Because worldly people are liars. thats what they do. So even though I am a baptized JW, they already judged me and no amount of facts were going to sway that.

  • NeverKnew

    This is all not good.

    He often asks me after our tough discussions if I ever see anything good about the organization that I could share with him.

    I wish there could be something, but theres not.

    Rethinking our conversations, I'm guessing he's hoping I convert.

    I already said Im not joining this cult. Thats what got me in trouble.....hate this cult.

  • jgnat

    After attending a memorial service, hubby begged me for something nice to say that he could share with his "brothers" and "sisters". I said, "It was pretty much the same as last year". He moaned, could'nt I come up with something better? "The flowers were nice."

  • jgnat

    You could say that the people are freshly scrubbed and smell nice.

    He has got to know before any commitment is made that you are not going to convert. He has to love you enough to want you anyways. Otherwise, the commitment starts off on a false footing.

  • flipper

    NEVER KNEW- If you tried turning the tables on him for a moment as an experiment ask him this since he asked you your view of seeing anything good in the Witnesses- Ask him , " Do you see anything good OUTSIDE the Witnesses ? " His answer will tell you all you need to know about how DEEPLY he is mind controlled and indoctrinated and whether or not he would ever exit the JW's. But like others say here- yes indeed, if you marry him if anything goes wrong his support group. i.e. elders and other JW's will take his side not your side on issues. They are a dangerous high control closed society my friend. You will always be second to his JW committments. I'd run the other way for a relationship if I were you. Just my 2 cents

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