Some funny/curious quotes from the 2013 Yearbook (part 1)

by cedars 45 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    For sure, they want people to believe that failure to attend boasting sessions results in your dying in a plane crash. Which happened in Nigeria, where corruption and scams dominate (and things are generally far from safe). The plane could just as easily have gone down onto the Kingdumb Hell.

    What that doesn't mention is a recent bus accident where some witlesses on their way to a big boasting session died in a bus crash. Those who missed the boasting session were not involved in that accident. Or, how many witlesses die en route to the boasting session or while out in field circus because they get into accidents on their way. How many die as a result of injuries sustained while out in field circus? Particularly, things like falls, householders that are forced to physically defend themselves against a scam, dog bites, and getting hit with a car while crossing the street to start their time. Many get diseases (diabetes, heart disease, cancer) because of the ongoing stress of attending boasting sessions and field circus, and die. Which causes more suffering than the plane crash would have.

  • GromitSK
    GromitSK

    Very funny lol

  • sd-7
    sd-7
    I'm wondering what the relatives of the 153 people who died in the plane crash would make of the JW-version of this tragedy. Do they feel they have seen "Jehovah's hand?"

    Yes, in the form of either a backhand (ie. 'pimp slap') or a middle finger shoved way up an orifice divinely chosen for that purpose.

    --sd-7

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    Tune in next year, same batshit channel, same batshit publication, to see what new batshit revisionist history they come up with to deflect what really happened in 1914______UNDERCOVER

    BATMAN !!!!!

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    The governing body "letter" in this new yearbook is just. . . .

    I don't know. . .

    Absolutely fuckin' bizarre!

  • ThisFellowCheap
    ThisFellowCheap

    20 JWs died in a bus accident enroute to the convention recently here in Nigeria. Yes, Jehovah's hand was definitely seen in it- they were already running late for the convention. So Big Jay says, "You guys are going to my place late right? I'm gonna show ya what it means to be late." Now they are all late! LOL And they(WTS) were even late about the air crash stuff anyways, because another church here in Nigeria already used that pitch with one of its members, and they got a mighty shoutdown for it. Also, a married man that was supposed to be on board survived because he went to an hotel room instead with a lover, he did see Jah's hand in it, because he went for Thanksgiving afterwards. Wrong man, if you want to thank Jehovah, you go to the bloody Kindumb Hell, not a church!

  • Balaamsass
    Balaamsass

    I guess all those people on the buses going to conventions were not as blessed as the family going to the meeting????

    Out thanks to Blondie, Cedars and everyone else who can stomach taking the time to read through all that stuff for gems. AND those who can actually sit through a meeting long enough to report news. I can't do it anymore. My favorite chair and a cocktail harken to me now at 7:30 pm.

    Hats off.

  • pixel
    pixel

    "We have truly seen Jehovah’s hand in our case. I am very happy." (page 30)

    This is disgusting and selfish.

  • cobaltcupcake
    cobaltcupcake

    For sure, they want people to believe that failure to attend boasting sessions results in your dying in a plane crash. Which happened in Nigeria, where corruption and scams dominate (and things are generally far from safe). The plane could just as easily have gone down onto the Kingdumb Hell

    How many of these stories have we heard over the years? What about that KH bombing in Australia years ago? In that instance it would have been better to have been lolling on the couch watching TV at home.

  • therevealer
    therevealer

    And also page 29/30 air disaster "At about 3:35 p.m., during the Watchtower Study, Collins and his wife, Chinyere, noticed several calls
    on their cell phones, which they did not answer . As soon as the meeting finished, Chinyere answered her phone.

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