Life in the New Dark Ages would be so dreary that I would rather worship Satan on purpose just to get out of having the monosodium glutamate on Jehovah's table shoved down my throat. At least the Table of Demons has something to offer, something I would actually be able to enjoy. Having festivals that are festivals 8 times throughout the year, including Christmas (just without Jesus). In Satanism, we celebrate Candlemas, Ashtar (which is related to Easter minus Jesus), Beltane (Mayday), the Summer Solstice, Lammas Day, the Autumnal Equinox, Halloween, and Christmas minus Jesus.
And those festivals involve more than just listening to a boring 45 minute talk, passing stale crackers and spoiled grape juice, and being hounded to attend other boasting sessions. They are more than wasting 3 days of your life listening to more crackdowns and boring rubbish. There is a time to build, a time to destroy, a time to heal, a time to sow, a time to reap, and a time to just have fun and enjoy it all. Unlike living forever with nothing to do but running around in field circus all the time.