I wouldn't have taken as much time that I did to fade. It was all fear and once I was out, I realized there was nothing to be fearful of
If you could leave the truth again what would you do differently?
DA'd myself ....... rather have done that then now DF'd.....
I would have began researching the religion long before I did. I wasted almost 10 years(most of my twenties) trying to reconcile the doubts I was having with the belief that the problem was with me, not with the "the truth".
would have left in a matter of months of my baptism and that would have prevented me from getting married which was a terrible mistake, being married opened up so many more factors so I really dont know what would have happened, I would also have listened to any advice (which was virtually nonexistent at the time) of fading quietly and keeping my big mouth shut about what I was learning, which I would have put into practice if I was married.
When the elder knocked on my door I had three choices:
1 - Tell him the truth
2 - Tell him to f*ck off
3 - Lie
I chose the first option and got d'fd (btw I didn't bother with the JC).
I should have gone for either option 2 or 3, it's worked well for my fader friends and they have never been d'fd!
Further proof that God does not direct this organisation.
I would have gone out with a bang - maybe a goodbye talk at the TMS or as part of a mag demo.
I would have NEVER listened to Ruth Harris! That is pretty much the only thing I would have changed....Because without witnesses I would not have met my awesome wife.
Yes, I would not have played by their rules. I would have kept my thoughts and discoveries to myself. I would have resigned as an elder without explanation to the elder body (that would have driven them crazy).
I would have stopped going to meetings, also without explanation.
I would have tried to develop a strategy for reaching my wife and kids with TTATT. (I actually DID try, but was unsure of how to proceed and tried too much, too fast and just lost them all.)
All that being said, from the WT's Point of View, there is no honorable way to leave. There is however an honorable way to leave from the perspective of the dignity of the individual leaving.
As the tremendous volume of posts here demonstrate, there's no easy way out, particularly if you have family in and don't want to risk losing/severing those ties. If you are married, the biggest challenge is reaching your mate. If you can do that, you just might make it out ok, especially if the kids are relatively young and not yet baptized.
Even still, you'll likely lose relationships with extended family and friends. Is your personal sanity and integrity important enough to lose that. For some it is, for others it is not.
I think, as wha happened? said, fear is the thing that keeps many of us in. But it's hard to overcome that until the spell is completely broken and that takes time.
Also, those still in but lurking or even better, participating and asking questions here are in a much better position to make a easier transition. At least they're acting with some knowledge that they are right about their doubts and disagreements. They are not alone.
I wish I'd discovered JWN 10 years ago. I didn't come here until more than 2 years after I'd been DF'd.
I know exactly what I would have done differently. Instead of Da myself, I would have torched the KH first..... smile.
Do it way before I got married with kids.