Reaching Loved Ones Stuck in a Cult: An Idea for Discussion

by 00DAD 70 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  nugget

  With witnesses someone has to be mentally ready to accept the possibility that they have been misled. Telling them too much too soon just forces them back in and plays to all their fears. It is also true that for some the cult fufils a need since it is hard to see how they would fit in or have any social life without the meeting structure which also insists that other people put themselves out for them. For parents there is also the issue that accepting that they have been misled means they also have to accept that they brought their children up in a harmful cult and did not give them a normal or happy life. Steve Hassan is right that if they are happy in the cult there will be little motivation to change.

  Trying to get someone out is a balancing act weighing up what the consequences will be for them with the benefits of mental freedom.

  Approaching the subject obliquely has the best chance since any direct challenge will cause them to retreat into the cult and raise a barrier to any further discussion.
• 

  irondork

  tag
• 

  WinstonSmith

  Hey team,

  I'm a bit late to the party, but here is something I have sometimes thought of doing: Saying to a JW mate "OMG have a listen to this" and then reading them the juicy parts of the letter that was sent by the Society to the German government. Of course you'd have to leave out the bits that mention JWs - but the letter lends itself to this. Follow this up with a "Wow can you believe those people said that?" Most people would be repelled by anyone supporting the ideals of the pre-war German government especially one that smacks of anti-Jewish sentiment, and I'm guessing would they likely say something like "Man what a bunch of douchebags!" This is when you go "Yeah that was written by the WTS and is recorded in the 1934 yearbook...."

  I'd love to hear someone try and explain that with new light after expressing their disgust.
• 

  Quendi

  As usual, I’m joining a discussion after it has fallen off the radar screen. I have a personal interest in this topic because I will be engaging a close friend in a deep conversation very soon about TTATT. I have not read all the responses to this thread but what I have read has helped.

  The approach I plan to take with my friend is to outline my own spiritual journey. My friend is a ministerial servant and has been a Witness for more than twenty-five years. He knows there are problems in the organization but still believes that Jehovah will eventually straighten them all out. In addition, he has bought into the lie that there is ‘nowhere else to go’ should he leave the WTS.

  The challenge I face is which part of my experience to share with him. There are so many rotten aspects to WTS theology and culture I can point to and the danger is that I would overwhelm him with this. I believe that I should focus on only one of these and get him to reason on the principle that if there is one serious problem that means there are many others. Then I want to help him see that a divinely sanctioned organization would not have made the serious errors in theology and practice the WTS has.

  I don’t know what his response will be but I will find out soon enough. We talk at least once a week, so this will be the week that I’ll finally lay my cards on the table. I want to use all the tact I can when I do so because I really believe that a drop of honey will draw more flies than a gallon of vinegar.

  Quendi
• 

  00DAD

  Quendi, welcome to the discussion. Perhaps by the time I've read your post you've already talked to your friend. I think your idea of a "less is more" approach is definitely the way to go.

  If you can leave him with just one thing to think about then that is enough. If you raise too many points his JW trained defenses will just go up and you'll lose him, maybe for good.

  We should talk my friend!

  00DAD
• 

  Londo111

  marked
• 

  jgnat

  I am ashamed to say I finally listened to Hassan's youtube talk. He emphasized a couple points which I would like to repeat here. I don't want to forget these.

  Rather than get in to a push-and-pull argument about getting the person OUT, make it a goal to help the person think independently. That way, you don't get focused on a single issue and you can provide broader support to the person.

  After dropping a mind-bending question, pause. I'm not talking the three-second pause we normally give people; let the pause drag on up to five minutes. Your goal, after all, is to help the person think. Give them time to think.
• 

  prologos

  what I have found interesting is, to

  Use their training method, occasions:

  "if some body at the Door asks you:---"do you believe there really was a talking snake?---"--- or:

  on the current bible reading (Marc 5-8):

  "WOW-- there were a lot of demons back there--. how would we treat such symptons today?--- medication?--- are the demons chemical in nature?-- not magical--?? are they different today??? would chemicals have worked back then too?

  -- You Have to train for the ministry right? notwithstanding Math !9:10. --?

  --we have to prepare for the bible reading comments ? right?

  so lets do it and giveit to them.
• 

  00DAD

  jgnat: Rather than get in to a push-and-pull argument about getting the person OUT, make it a goal to help the person think independently . That way, you don't get focused on a single issue and you can provide broader support to the person .

  Excellent point.

  Arguing doctrine never works and generally just pushes the person further away while reinforcing the cult stereotype of what apostates are all about.

  Getting a person to think independently is really what it's all about. This is clearly why the WTBTS fears independent thought above all things.

  Great comments.

  00DAD
• 

  00DAD

  prologos, nice tactical approach!