May I suggest that you e-mail this gentleman a link to some of the threads you come across here on JW-com that deal with ex's experiences with their family?
Being a single Ex JDub
by Cammi 18 Replies latest jw friends
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pamkw
I understand what you are saying. I don't even try to have a relationship. I wouldn't want to introduce any one I was interested in to my family. The jw members of my family are all nuts. What could I say? "Oh, I don't want you to met my mom, she would just preach at you?" "My family has no touch with reality?"
Of course, she would probably give him a good dose of old jw snobbery. Not something I would like to see. I figure I will be single for a long, long time.
Pam
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Stealth
Hi Cammi, welcome to the forum.
Yes, as a single ex-jw I can relate to what you are going through. I have dated some very nice women that we connected at many levels. But on more than one occasion something comes up about being a JW and they just can't relate and the relationship ends.
It might be better to lay all the cards on the table up front that way you don't invest very much into a relationship and then find out they just can't understand and break it off.
There is no easy answer to this problem, just keep trying.. sooner or later you will find a person who is open minded enough to at least try and understand. Until then I too keep looking for such a person.Best luck in your search.
Stealth
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LB
Well I've been married for thousands of years but I would think that I would be attracted to a woman that is a survivor. Getting in and then out of the Borg should prove the strength of a woman. She isn't needy and going to hang onto you or anything just because she is told to. She will hang onto you because she wants to.
Never Squat With Yer Spurs On -
bboyneko
Where is my internal strength to stand up for what I believe is right and tell the family and former friends to kiss off? I cant do that.
It depends I think. If i were dating someone and they were too scared and wussy to stand up for themselves and allow themselves to be controlled by their family i wouldnt want to be with them.
If you stand up for yourself and your family wont speak to you because of that, then that should be admired. Youd need a bf who can understand where you came from.
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armorgan
cammi
are you from camillia mapley from hardin and laurel congregation in montana. I am from those congs. thought it might be you. If so e-mail me at [email protected]
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Debz
From my experience - the relationships I have had since leaving the dubs is that partners can find it really hard to understand whats going on with the family - since they have had no experience with religions and / or cults!
On some level - and mainly because they don`t understand they can actually believe that by `us/you` putting more into the extended family relationships that it will somehow solve all the angst. They don`t quite `get it` that there is more factors at play than just a family `tiff`, this makes it even more difficult when they themsleves have had stormy relationships with their family - but not quiet to the extent that exdubs have experienced.
When I was younger I avoided bringing up the issue - preferring to say that I was the `black sheep` of the family and then go from there....nowadays I am open about it if I think its imprortant to `our` relationship as I believe its no longer causing big issues for me, but I still find that not only a potential partner but ANYONE friends, colleauges etc fail to fully comprehend the situation even when you try to explain the full ramifications of being an exdub........
I try not to focus on my `limited jdub family contact` situation and I think thats paramount to moving on!
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SLOAN
I find it is difficult to explain sometimes; but I've found the men I've dated to be very supportive and compassionate about my whole situation. Guess I've been lucky.
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joannadandy
Dating is hard. That's it. It's not easy for anyone. Everyone has tough things that are hard to explain to people we get romantically involved with. But we tell them anyway and hope they understand.
I haven't really had an problems BECAUSE I am an exjw. For the most part people understand, or try to as best they can. Hell I even met one guy who had very strong fundamental christian parents. He became a wiccan. The shyt hit the fan in that house in much the same way it did when I told my parents I didn't wanna be a dub.