near the end of my prison stay in the wtbts one of the elders gave a talk about the "spiritual man" and the "fleshly man." God, how I hate that term. Anyway, I listened to that talk with mind wide open that day, and I said, "I'm screwed. I'm definitely a fleshly person." The speaker even condemned loving beauty in nature or spending too much time enjoying music or food or fellowship. I knew I was screwed. I wasn't doing anything right.
So, I gave up.
Best thing I ever did.