How do you feel about smacking at K Hall?

by Latte 44 Replies latest social family

• 

  Latte

  Thank you all for your comments,

  I think that the society would do well to encourage parents to view their children as little people – to view them highly, precious. I do not pretend to ‘get it right’ a lot of the time, I know I’ve made some mistakes. There was no manual with my babies!!!

  I have looked up discipline on the CD ROM and did not find what I was looking for. If you put spanking in you will get some ‘not so nice’ ‘advice from around the date of the 1950’s . In desperation I purchased a couple of ‘worldly books’ that have helped me immensely. Yes, there is plenty of information in the magazines as to HOW to get close to your kid’s BUT the whole way of life (i.e 5 meetings) does not allow you to have the time to be with your kids.

  The society would do well to have only ONE meeting a week (sorry everyone!!) this seemed to be good enough for the Israelites (Sabbath) where it was a day dedicated to Jehovah, a day of joy - and a day of REST. One day was good enough for them – why not us. The society often refers back to times gone by, for e.g. Watchtower 9/15 article entitled ‘Does Jehovah ask too much of us? ‘ I thought at the time that this was so timely for me as I felt that Jehovah WAS asking too much of me. If you read this you will note that it quickly reverts to times gone by, to times that I sure cannot relate to NOW. It very much disheartened me. I think now, that it was men that were asking too much of me - not Jehovah.

  I am sure that the men ‘at the top’ do not have children OR have forgotten what it’s like. (More likely the later) Perhaps, if some changes were made young ones would not fly out of the org as soon as they can.

  Have I made any sense?? ( Please be kind!!)

  Latte
• 

  amicus

  Latte,
  I didn't mean to trivilize this subject. I have no experience in this area and didn't realize how serious of an issue it is. After reading these posts I started to remember the crying or screaming kids in the back of the KH or outside as their parents "diciplined" them. It always bothered me.
  

  My father was an elder when I was little and because my mother apparently couldn't handle me, they had a brother assigned to take me out of the Hall to discipline me. I still remember being smacked by him!

  
  THIS makes me clench my jaws and tighten my muscles. This is SICK!
  Latte,
  If you haven't done so, go to Main/What should the WTBTS do?/LDH. You'll get a better idea of how some of us here feel.
  I think I need to go burn off some of this adrenaline. Grrrrrrrrr
• 

  Latte

  amicus,

  Please don't worry, I realize what your about - your a very nice person!

  Latte
• 

  amicus

  Ok, I've calmed down.
  Latte,
  Thanks for not taking my humor the wrong way and thanks for the compliment.
  Prisca,
  

  I hated that brother

  
  I wonder if it ever crossed that jerks mind to tell your parents that disciplining you was THEIR job, not his? I would have hated him too.
• 

  Latte

  Dear Nelly136 and Prisca,

  My heart goes out to you.

  I wish so much that the society would emphasise this scripture in Prv 1v8,9
  Children are not daft they do remember what you tell them, especially if they think that they are pleasing you. ( now I’m a child expert!!) Notice it says LISTEN and not FEEL.

  *** Rbi8 Proverbs 1:8-9 ***
  8 Listen, my son, to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother. 9 For they are a wreath of attractiveness to your head and a fine necklace to your throat.

  This scripture prv 22v15 is often mis-applied, it frustrates me when brothers do not explain that the “rod” which is mentioned here, is figurative as opposed to literal. A much more positive feeling towards the little ones could be generated if brothers clarified this, and took the opportunity to say how wonderful the little ones are. I’m sure that this feeling would eventually filter down to the parents and perhaps they would think again.

  *** Rbi8 Proverbs 22:15 ***
  Foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy; the rod of discipline is what will remove it far from him.

  BIG BIG HUGS to you both,

  Latte
• 

  happytobefree

  Being raised a JW, I remember the cruelty my parents would inflict upon us. My mother has very long sturdy fingernails and she would pinch the hell out of us for sleeping, talking, passing notes. And my father would humiliate us - by having us stand, as the meeting was going on, if we fell a sleep.

  But as far as discipline for my children, I do not believe in using any type of corpal (spanking) punishment. And this would get me all kind of strange looks when I attended the hall. I would allow my children to bring coloring books, figurines, car, etc. to keep them occupied. But I was counseled, quite a bit. And was asked to take my kids out alot. I was also given the counsel to spank them. Which I told them I would not do. I told the bro. that I discipline my children as Jehovah disciplines me. I teach them and if they still act out - I continue to teach them until they get the lesson.

  But as previous post mentioned, I have witnessed cases of terrible child abuse. It's strange how those behaviors are accepted and the parents administering the punishment are considered GOOD spiritual parents.

  As Prisca posted on another thread - these behaviors become a Way of Life. When I think of these experiences, it causes my heart to bleed. Because the parents chose the religion - but the children pay the biggest price.

  Happy to be Free
• 

  DriveslikeJehu

  Personally, I don't think it's a good idea, at least in the KH. Most 'rents in my hall were pretty good about whaking the kids. They kinda had a 3 stage contingency:
  1. Tell them quietly to stop.
  2. Take them in the back, and tell them again.
  3. Take them outside, and have at it.
  When I was a child, my parents would just wait until we got home. I'm glad we all got to keep our dignity. I wish other parents would keep that in mind.
• 

  LDH

  I'm prone to agree with DrivesLikeJehu.

  I wouldn't ever discipline my child in that manner in front of others, but, if you think about it, <b> that's the way the congregation treats the adult members! </b>

  Punishes them openly when they commit an infraction in order to humiliate and embarrass them, of course this will make them want to behave temporarily! (but not for the right reasons)

  And as soon as they start thinking for themselves, they'll rebel. The children and the adults.

  When my daughter was younger, I had a whole bag of books for her to read, and then when she was older and able to control herself, I let her have UNLIMITED pens and paper.....

  She is ten. To this day I have probably only spanked her 10 times or less. Contrast that to the weekly spankings we got, he he. Although we were never really disciplined at the hall, more like Jehu. And it must be harder to control three small children than one, so maybe my parents felt they had too?!?!?

  Edited by - LDH on 1 February 2001 19:17:0
• 

  Latte

  Dear Happytobefree (you took my name!)

  I am so sorry for the ‘discipline’ you received.

  I do remember being taken out, I would smile on the way out ( so that no-one would guess why my mom was dragging me out!) and wipe the tears away on the way back. My mom I would say was definitely merciful, to this day she is pretty much a softie, (so I reckon that I probably deserved whatever I got) which is probably why I am so sensitive to this issue.

  I did’nt realize that this subject would bring back unpleasant memories for so many. I truly feel for you, and I’m glad that you are now all grown up! I really feel helpless when I witness such unpleasant instances – that’s why I feel that the society could do so much more to improve the status of the little people – who already have so much to deal with in life. I could list them all, but I would be here ages!!

  Parents always feel strongly as to how they discipline/bring up their children – that it’s their right, and they will do it how they see fit. Quite rightly so too! BUT I wish some would be more humble, and realize that, it is so important,they must get it right, that perhaps they could try another way. Just like you, my dear Happytobefree –you ‘broke the mold’ and did it the way you knew could be better!

  amicus

  Love that GGrrrrrrrrrr !

  LDH

  I do hope that the unlimited pens, which you allowed your daughter to take to the KH were all washable!!!! LOL I did just the same, some of their most creative works were done at the hall!! ! I , also, always made sure they were as comfy as could be, whilst they slept !!!!

  Thanks Ya’ll for all your experiences

  Latte

  Edited by - Latte on 2 February 2001 12:10:51

  Edited by - Latte on 2 February 2001 12:13:38
• 

  larc

  Ya know,

  I see that same thing at restaurants. They put this infant in a high chair, the infant gets restless, and rather than take them out and give them a little comfort they push them back down in the seat and scold them. makes me sick.

  Little toddlers want to move around a bit and the parents push them back. Hey, let the kid walk over to the next table, everyone loves that little tyke. No problem. The kid gets to explore and meet new people just like they should do as an adult.

  Well, that's how I see it.