by Latte 44 Replies latest social family
To all,
Personally, it upsets me very much. Is it just me? Or are there any other parents that found better, alternative ways of getting young children 'trained'?
I am not anti -smacking by the way,(except at the KH) but it is always the very last resort.
Latte
Oh,
I guess I don't belong in this forum,I thought you were talking about kissing. Maybe someone needs to smack..er, I mean slap me. Well maybe slap, and then smack.
I think it's bad when very young kids are spanked for not sitting still - it's two hours for goodness sake and boring as hell !
There was a familly in our hall that hit their kids so much in the hall, on the way out and then in the foyer that they really should have been reported to the authorities - if they had done that to another adult it would have been serious assault.
Oh well...spare the rod, spoil the child...God knows best...
LOL,
Latte thank you I NEVER thought about having to take my kids to the meetings! Man that would be really interesting:) Looking through my kids eyes at a meeting is well almost comical. I agree with Simon, young children have very small attention spans, and the Watchtower, just won't cut it with a 2 yr old. The idea of a sunday school, is much more age appropriate.
But I feel that this is the basis of all jw training, the society uses the parents to do the physical control, as they work on the mind control. Everyone goes along with this. If I told a preschool teacher the format of a meeting she would question why a parent is punishing a child for a skill they physically are unable to accomplish. We don't force our children to feed themselves if they are unable to use a spoon or fork. Which brings up another pet peave of mine and that is physical punishment during potty training. But I will save that for another day:)
wendy
Yes, I think we're all on the same wavelength.
I do think that it is physically impossible for a young child to sit for the duration of most meetings. I wished so often (when I was attending) why the parents did'nt try to think as to how it was from the child's perspective. A lot of new parent's seemed to have much intolerance,embarrassment of their child's behavior, and duly took it out for some re-adjustment.
I alway's took my children out for a play in the mother's room, when they were very young of course. I worked on verbal reminder's. I read a wachtower article that pointed out how many times we (we as adults)had to be reminded of thing's -( by attending the meeting's of course) So, I applied this line of thinking to my children- made, complete sense to me. By the time I stopped attending they were much more mature and sat perfectly (well, almost!!!)It took more effort, patience doing it the verbal way, but I never felt sad that I made them cry at the meeting.
I'm sorry if I've rambled on about this, but, it is something that has stood out to me especially since I've my own children.
Thanks for your reply's I feel better now!!
Latte
The children that do the best when they are little are the one's that are shy and quiet by nature. The more energetic children are punished. Later on, the quiet ones who where model children are considered spiritualy weak because they don't like the door to door activity, while the active ones who were punished as children are praised when they love the preaching work.
In all of this there is no understanding of individual differences and how to let each individual make his or her own contribution. Everyone has to fit into the mold, no matter what their nature.
Latte and everyone,
I have no children of my own. But I was a child raised as a JW.
I also knew of a women who definitely went beyond smacking and was an abuser. I regret that I never reported the abuse to the authorities. Her oldest child displayed very unusual behavior (later on within a few years i.e. drawing lurid pictures of sexual positions) and she was called on it by the school authorities.
But personally, I think that since small children, and hell even adults have short attention spans that it is very cruel to expect them to sit still for two hours. Whenever I helped other people at the hall with their children, I took them in the bathroom and let them play on the floor. (actually I got down on the floor and played with them)
I think smacking your kids all the time for something they can't control i.e. at the KH, is a good way to make them hate the meetings.
I guess we were pretty good at the hall because I don't remember being taken out too much.
TW
I remember someone telling me about a kid in their hall, that had been playing up all through the meeting and his parents kept threatening to take him for a smack, eventually he was taken out, but as they were walking out he yelled 'Please Jehovah help me' so everyone heard. Now what do you do after that?
We sometimes got frowned upon, because we used to let Liam take a few little cars to the meeting, but at least he had something to do and we weren't dragging him outside every few minutes.
Edited by - angharad on 29 January 2001 11:6:47
my mum always said to me she'd never hurt her hands on me, and she was right she didnt, she didnt feel a thing using a wooden spoon or hairbrush, although I was often told *this hurts me more than it hurts you*...yeah right
guess those modest skirt hem lines are not just there to cover your knees.
I'm not sure whether she was as brutal because of the spare the rod spoil the child thing or whether it just gave her a legitimate excuse to be herself, all I know is when she was beating the living crap out of me in the toilets no one so much as batted an eyelid, and there'd be plenty approving looks and stares on the way back to our seats...another unruly child dealt with
what I thought was discipline with love as a child would very likely be classed as abuse by *worldly* standards.
One elder in our cong had quite a large family, if he was on the platform and they played up it would be nothing for him to excuse himself from the platform and go slap them them before returning to the platform as if nothing had happened, more approving looks and sniggers.
nelly
My father was an elder when I was little and because my mother apparently couldn't handle me, they had a brother assigned to take me out of the Hall to discipline me. I still remember being smacked by him!
Funny thing is, I hated that brother though perhaps I should have hated my parents for it instead.
