nobody cares

by Honeybucket 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Honeybucket
    Honeybucket

    as joyous as this is... what if noone cared wether you stayed or left. perhaps they viewed you as annoying, or a pain. maybe your not in their clique. I was thinking about how many months its been since ive actually been to more then two consecutive meetings. No field service either. I hear all these stories of the crying and pleading, stalking and harrassing. Ive had nothing, not even my grandmother has bugged me. The clique in my hall are all in the 60's or 70's. Maybe like 10 people under the age of 40 and over the age of 10. a bunch of old people though. So I wonder as to why they have left me alone. I seriously dont think they could careless if I was a witness or not. Keep in mind that most of these people children dont have anything to do with witnesses and left as soon as they could. Did the hall try to stop them, maybe most in the hall went through 1975 and know that its all balony. Thoughts?

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Sometimes a person gets that. Maybe, that's worse for some people to handle than the alternate. In the wt, we think that everything we do matters, that we're involved in a giant tug of war between statan and jehover. We get used to thinking that what we do or even what we think is important to others. It can be a tough transition if we find out that nobody cares what we do.

    That's why we need to tune out ideas from outside us about what we should be or do. Better to find out what WE want, instead.

    S

  • free @ last
    free @ last

    Wow Satanus! That was profound. Gonna mull on that a bit...

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    When I left suddenly two years ago, I didn't get any trouble from anyone. Three different elders called me on the phone after a couple of months. All three calls were very brief, only a minute or so. Have never heard from them again. I was nice to everyone and donated monthly. Guess I was just invisible, being a single woman in her 50's. I have only had one shepherding call in 10 years. They are so field service minded that they don't notice that people are leaving out the side door.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    I lost interest after JeBooBoo didn't show up for Armageddon and not one JW bothered to put any pressure on me (unbaptised born in) to hurry up and get in for decades. When they finally got around to it, it was a family member, not an Elder.

  • finallysomepride
    finallysomepride

    Black Sheep

    you are sooo lucky

  • jemba
    jemba

    Some congregations are so focused on bringing in new people that they not only dont care about those who leave but actually disrespect them for leaving 'paradise'. I have been gone for some years now and have never had a shepherding call, just the occasional dubs calling past on their preaching work, sometimes stumbling upon us by accident then regretting it when they get my cool reception. Get seen doing anything forbidden though and youll soon get the 'encouraging visit' from the elders.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    My experience was that no one much noticed that I wasn't there anymore. Hardly any concern, only one elder called on me. He said he called on me and wanted me to go back to meetings because his wife didn't have any friends and I was her only friend. Not much of a friend, she never called to see what was going on.

    Made it all easier for me to just fade away.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    what if no one cared whether you stayed or left. . . .I hear all these stories of the crying and pleading, stalking and harrassing. Ive had nothing.

    That's been our experience as well. Makes ya kinda feel unwanted all along, doesn't it. Diehard JW family members have cooled as well. No elder calls or visits, just some old timer pubs who have known us for years who have dropped in an complained to us about all the problems in the Cong. At least they know they won't get "turned in" to the Elder-Nazis.

    Doc

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    In the grand scheme, you are correct. They don't care as a collective. The GB has it built into their business model that they will lose a certain number of salesmen each year, they only hope to recruit enough salesmen to replace, and hopefully a few additional to grow.

    Individually, it really does vary. If you have multiple generations in, a wife/husband in, grown children in, or if you are an elder/pioneer you may be in for a shitload of stress if you try to get out without the DF/DA.

    Some of those close to you may really care, might think you are committing suicide by leaving the org. But deep, deep down - a lot of these folks are more worried about how they will look. Their reputation will take a hit because their husband left "da trooth" and now everyone looks down at them with a condescending eye.

    The peer pressure of this f*uckin cult that makes it run.

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