First of all let me say that I choked! I choked because I told myself if they came back that I would have a field day! Didn't happen. A flood of EVERYTHING! came rushing in and I had no way of making anything come out of my mouth. I was very pleasant as she handed me the one fold tract "Would You Like to Know the Truth?" Before she could explain, I let her know that YES, I had been researching her religion, all the way back to the beginning and it was very interesting in deed. She let me know there is only "ONE" official site I should be looking at JW.org and none other. I said no, I look at any and all websites that have anything to do with JW's. Looking at ther childrens faces it was hard to say anything negetive, and she gave me the invitation to the kh and wanted a return visit. I politely said ''NO" I will contact you if I am interested. I wish there was a way to stop this blender going in my head and just say what I need to! It makes me wonder if her children standing there was some sort of tactic the jws have now to avoid confrontation. I am not sure, but the last 2 times they were at my door it was 2 older ladies but I had told them I was dfed and let them know promptly. I am also pretty sure their fs report would have that on it would it not? Maybe that is why she asked my name which I told her(now wish I had made one up). I am sure that in the near future that when they come to my door I will be able to argue a little better, and thanks JWN for reading this post and maybe some pointers on how to deal with this. I choked!! I am so mad I choked!
A JW mother and her children just came to my door......
by haboob48 17 Replies latest jw friends
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tiki
don't worry - it is good that you made it clear that you would research any and all sites - not just the one she was pushing.... i sometimes think the best route is simplicity and just be kindly dismissive and never rude. some guys here can really go into the nitty-gritty and if they can, more power to them - but some of us are better just letting go.......
whatever -unchoke and enjoy your day!
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NewChapter
don't beat yourself up about it. It happens all the time. I don't know that their FS report would show you as DF'd. First they'd have to know you were there. Then they would have to report it to the elders to get a notation. I don't remember any notations like that on our reports. We had Do Not Calls, but that was because it was requested. That was on the back of the report, and honestly, half the time we forgot to look.
When you start to feel more confident in your knowledge, and when you come to fully appreciate that you know better than them, your mind will slow down. I know you KNOW that, but internally, we still have to work past a lot of programmed responses and emotions that the WT inculcated. I find that when I'm talking to someone, I feel much less intimidated, much better able to express myself, when I honestly believe to my core that I have something valuable to say.
Give yourself time.
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problemaddict
Just a couple things. Don't feel bad about not knowing what to say. Feel good about respecting the fact she had young children with her and not laying into her. I also doubt very much you think they would bring children purposely to avoid confrontation. :)
People are not noted as disfellowshipped on FS cards. Only do not call requests are written on those reports. If you don't want to be called on, just call up the hall and have them add your name.
Otherwise, think to yourself if you only had 30 seconds with a every day run of the mill JW, what would you want them to know. That should unclog the ole brain.
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haboob48
thx NewChapter
I have been out for over 25 years but have never dealt with ANYTHING as far as the religion. After being dfed I can actually recall going to C. assem. and one meeting. Then shoved that crud in the back of my mind and moved on. I am not sure, but never dealing with it or ever wanting to get reinstated stopped everything that had to do with religion and so my knowledge of it all ceased. Now I am older and it is so much easier to reasearch and be open minded but I am in kindergarten so to speak as far as reasearch and the JWs. lol I have religion-ADHD at the moment! I sure wish I had used those years out for more research. But it is happenening NOW! Yes, it will come I am sure, and over the past few months is taking in everything I have learned about it, and when it does come out it is so dramatic! I love this site and everyone has helped alot. Not to discredit the other great sites.
haboob
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arrakis1
I just wish JW's would come to my door. I am really curious how I will handle it. You never know until you are actually confronted. Sadly, I have not had anyone call at my house, and I have lived here in England for over a year now. I moved here from Arizona and I know we were getting to everyone's house at least once every other month or so back there. Maybe it is for the best...I would probably just tell them I am not interested and then beat myself up for not coming up with something good to say.
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jgnat
If it makes you feel any better, I usually choke, too. I mean, where do you start? When I am flooded with responses ranging from sarcasm to rage, I put on my polite face and say "No thank you."
It's not like you are going to have a doorstep revelation for these people on your doorstep.
I think if you break down ahead of time what you really want to accomplish, you can have something rehearsed. It is likely just to plant a seed, eh, what? I think you did a great job by plainly saying you would go to any site that talks about the Witnesses.
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JWOP
I luck out -- I live in a private community which doesn't allow door to door solicitors. So instead, a coupla times a year I get a letter along with a tract. I find it curious though: I was disfellowshipped as an APOSTATE from that very same congregation. I KNOW I must be listed as such in their records, I have to be!So.... why do they send me these things? I mean, I've read the Elders' Manual -- I know they don't do visits and such on active apostates. They all know I wrote those "apostate" books (my local newspaper did a prominent article, they couldn't miss it!), so they know I'm active.
Scratching my head.
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perfect1
Dragging the poor kids a long is not a new defense tactic, thats just what they do.
Trust me, I know
Many times little me was nearly mauled by a ferocious dog twice my size.
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wha happened?
I thought about what I would say, but since I live in one of the largest and most polutaed territorries in the US, I rarely see dubs. It was about 5 years or so before someone finally knocked on my door. It's a security building so I wasn't expecting a nock. I thought it was one of the tenants.
The little girl was about 8. With hands trembling and a very forced delivery, she made her presentation. I listenned and thanked her for the hard work she put in to speak with me this morning. I took her tract. I then looked up at the brother and said, "thanks, but no thanks", and then turned to close the door. The gentlemen then spoke up. I very slowly turned and with my eyebrows lifted up, looking over my glasses, asked "Yeeeees?" After a very uncomfortable 2 seconds, he said, "enjoy your morning". I said: "I most certainly will".