I changed all names.
Dear Sister,
I am writing you this because I have never been very good at expressing myself in person. I need to say somethings that I feel are very important so please consider my thoughts.
As the oldest son of our family, I feel the need to express for dad one of his strongest feelings, the need to be close to Jehovah and his organized people. Even though the stroke effected his thinking and he was disfellowshiped, he always saw the need to be at the meetings. He knew that this was the only place to receive spiritual instruction.
His stroke affected his mental ability and he developed strange ideas and actions to such an extent that he became a danger to you and to the congregation, but his heart was still with Jehovah. After his death I received a beautiful card from our circuit overseer, I wish I had shared with you. He mentioned among other things that one of the reasons for disfellowshiping is to protect the congregation from physical or spiritual harm. But since Jehovah is the one that saw into his heart, he knew who he really was, and he remembers all the good he did. Also, The Bible say's that there will be a resurrection of the righteous and the unrighteous. (Acts 24:15) So, Sister we have every reason to have the hope of the resurrection.
Jehovah is not quick to judge people adversely. He is patient with all of mankind because his dominate quality is Love. But he balances this with his Wisdom, Justice and Power. He cares more about people than we do, and because of this he has tolerated personal pain and suffering more than any of us. So why would this God of Love bring and end to a system of things where many people will die? This is because of his love. He knew that mankind needed His direction in order to survive and be happy with the life he gave them. When they disobeyed God, they separated themselves from their source of life. Like a fan being unplugged from its power source mankind is slowly dying, and would eventually die off this earth. Therefore it is necessary for him to intervene. Many people today would not consider themselves wicked. In fact, they may very well try to do good deeds in behalf of others, however, if they try do things their way and reject the designers arrangement they bring everyone into jeopardy.
Jehovah has made an arrangement to correct this problem and plug mankind back into Himself as the life source. Eph. 1:9,10 ,shows he has made an administration by Jesus to bring us back. Therefore its imperative for us to accept that arrangement and work with it. This is the most important work we can be doing today. It's like the difference of giving someone hungry a fish compared to teaching them how to fish. Everything else is a temporary fix. This is why Terry and I have dedicated our life to helping as many people as possible to learn what they need to do to survive the end of this system. Although the thought of anyone dying is painful for us as well, we trust that Jehovah knows how to really bring the earth into a paradise condition and resurrect the billions who have died in the past to have the same opportunity. These things can never come about by man's will. At present all are dying whether they realize it or not, but Jehovah wants to correct that and give us life.
Although there are many mistakes you may find with this organization Sister, remember that all he has to work with, are imperfect people. Jesus early disciples had misunderstandings and made all kind of mistakes, however, Jehovah continued to use them and eventually things became clearer.
We need to be patient and look at the big picture. Aren't the many promises in the Bible worth the wait? Although you may feel we don't have everything right at this time, we do demonstrate love in an unprecedented way compared with any organization in the world today. Whats the whole point of doing good deeds, caring for the needy and then sending our children into war? So even if we don't have everything correct, we do demonstrate the greatest identifying mark Jesus gave of having love among themselves.
Please do not minimize the importance of this letter. You are very important to me, so is Peter and Dan although they do not know us as well. You have been like one of our girls and have lived with us at different times. We really do love you Sister, so please think deeply about my letter.
Love your brother,
My Reply letter
I know all the arguments and they are things that i asked myself already. No matter what you say its not going to change my mind. We believe differently now and I dont want to argue because it wont change anything and only get me upset. I'm almost 38 years old, old enough to make my own decisions and I wish everyone would respect them. This is one of the reasons i am so upset. God gave us free will but my family is trying to take this gift from god away from me.
I'm still figuring things out for myself and I don't have all the answers but I'm learning that is ok. No one convinced or pursuaded me to change my beliefs I saw for myself and my eyes were open for the first time - not just following my emotions. I would not take this decision lightly especially with Dan to think about. This was not a quick decision either but it's right for our family.
I remember asking you when I was younger what if they dont have the truth? You said well it made for the best family and life. I'm glad for you. But I don't agree because I feel like i had a messed up family life and relations and the reason is because of this religion. I feel what I did to dad and Mary was evil. Even if they are trying to keep the congregation clean that should not effect family and relationship you have with them. It doesn't matter what you show me in the Bible, in my heart I know it is wrong. What is the difference between Lisa and Sally. Jehovah sees both of their actions but because Sally was disfellowshipped nobody can have a relationship with her for the rest of her life unless she comes back. but with Lisa no problem talking to her. So a grandmother can't see her grandkids and a daughter can't see a mother because they decided they don't want to be a witness any more and follow it's rules. Even people that go to jail have parole. Not so in this religion.
Before dad passed away I called dad talked to him but before that I went to the elders and asked permission because I thought I had to. Permission to talk to my own father! I did not even realize how much control I gave them for decisions in my own life.
Ive been living my whole life in fear. Fear mom would abandon me. she told me if I saw my dad she would never want to see me again. I don't believe she was protecting me from him. She was protecting herself. If she was protecting me she would not be putting me in vulnerable situations. Now I feel my family is trying to hurt me or scare me back to the organization. I've been told our friends will be drunkards and drugies; my marriage will break up; called an apostate; told it's like I have cancer; my child will be a delinquent. This does not feel like the most loving organization. Recently I've been getting more understanding, kindness, and acceptance from so-called worldly people.
I have been watching people. Children, babies, older ones a lot recently and it makes me sick if God would destroy billions of people. I pray that that does not even come into his heart. If he would do that than it is best that I do die because I could not live with myself if that happens.
There are so many reasons I cant be involved anymore that I'm not going to talk about. I know you guys love us. I love you too. I hope you can respect our decision. All I want is peace in this family.
Your sister