Quick question, did you feel lonely at the meetings even though you were part of the action?

Theocratic Sedition

Just curious, something I've noticed only lately. I'm in the mix within the congregation, stay late after the meeting is over, converse with quite a few people afterwards, make plans for Saturday and sometimes Sunday service and yet I feel so awfully alone walking to my car afterwards. I feel lonely when I'm talking and laughing with people after the meeting. Feel alone when I have a partner with me in field service. Feel alone at recreational settings with other JWs. I mean I'm in the mix, but I feel alone for some reason.

Did you ever feel like that? Its weird.

00DAD

All the time.

One is the loneliest number. I thought you knew!

00DAD

Seriously, how can you possibly connect with people when you all are pretending to believe stuff you don't?

Intimacy requires honesty.

Scott77

I can speak from personal experiences.When associating with Jehovah's Witnesses, I did feel lonely most of the times. The 'love of fellow christians' was fake. It was not genuine. The loneliness increased to the level of leaving the 'truth' for my lasting good. Naturally, no one wants to continue associating with a lovely group. You have either have to or stay. I chose the later with no regrets.

Scott77

elderelite

Of course. And i think as elders who ar eused to being really in the mix its very pronounced at times.... But as 00dad said, how can you connect when you know its based on false assumptions.... Fs is the absolute worst. I dont even pretend to go out anymore :P its a tough spot but its the life we have choosen.

rip van winkle

MTSG- Even when I wasn't "pretending" I have felt that way.

grumblecakes

for a long time i did. when i started waking upand feeling like something was wrong i really did feel exteremely lonely. sometimes they would say s**t during a talk and i would tear up because i thought something was wrong with me for the way i felt (the doubt, skeptisim, resentment). bc the cult was my whole reality it hit me hard when it started turning sour and i blamed myself, and thought i was the most horrible person, sitting in that KH, alone with it.

miraculously, things changed the day i found this site.i lurked for a few weeks, desperately reading threads on everything i had tried so hard to accept, rationalize, force myself to just be ok with...and discovered that soooooo many others before me felt the same way. faced the same things. even though anonymous and far apart, we share the same weird ass experience.

so now, when i show face at the hall, i dont tear up or feel like an abomination sitting there...i just wonder how many other feel the same, but dont dare say anything.

clarity

Hi Theo good question ... we have been removed from 'normal' society,

so there seems to be an underlying gut renching loneliness in most jw's,

whether they admit it or not.

>

We have only those who are forced to lovetolerate us,

to associate with, so our hearts never really feel love.

Instead of reassuring love ...there is a hole in our hearts!

We know these companions can't be trusted ... they will gossip

about you and turn you in if you say the 'wrong' thing.

>

If we doubt this ...just reading the watchtower will confirm that

even parents must throw their kids away and shun them if they

don't follow gb orders!

>

Fifty years of trying to be close with jw friends ultimately failed!

Seems like they hang around until they get a better offer lol,

either they snag a man or chum up with the great pioneers or 'the rich& famous'...oh wow!

Takes time to build new relationships, but it is so great to like people

who you really want to be with & trust!

Loving my life now even with the rough spots

clarity

DarkFireWolf

Yes, it is very lonely when you talk with them and in the back of your head you know that they only love you and talk to you because you're in the religion and if you weren't, you might as well be invisible to them.

tec

What 00DAD said, and most everyone repeated.

(( Miz ))

Morbidzbaby

The JW environment is not one that is conducive to forming deep personal relationships with others. When you're encouraged to rat each other out, there's a level of trust that you simply cannot reach. Without trust, you can't truly feel connected. JW's love to say "We can go anywhere in the world and walk into a Kingdom Hall and feel like we know each other". Not true. I've walked into many a Kingdom Hall and most of the time felt like a complete stranger and very uncomfortable with these people who I didn't know anything about except for them having the same religion.

Quick question, did you feel lonely at the meetings even though you were part of the action?

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