So utterly hurt. (page 2)

NewChapter

LouBelle, that's devastating and hurtful. I'm so sorry.

That's awful, Lou. I understand how hurtful it is. Dementia could certainly be part of the problem. In the months before they passed, both my mom and my aunt would make some bizarre assumptions about me and things I was doing (not!). There are a whole lot of reasons why people will twist the truth.

You know the truth, however, and it sounds like your dad does, too. People who saw how lovingly you cared for your uncle will know the truth, regardless of what your grandmother might say.

So sorry for your hurt.

poppers

(((((LouBelle)))))

snare&racket

Hey

LB, sounds like a very emtional and heart wrenching experience for you. May I please possibly help by suggesting a few things? I hope you dont think me presumptuous or regard that I think you are ignorant, I really dont. I have found that many JW's and religious people see human behaviour as good or evil. For example what she said to you was.....evil. However, I really dont see the world like that anymore. Your grandmother doesnt sound evil, she sounds poorly, no doubt due to her age perhaps. This is an important distinction as it removes stigma for her and painful intent for you. I dont believe humans do evil as often as people think. I believe humans are broken or damaged (depending on the perspective of non broken) by experiences, life and age i.e. deterioration. Your grandmother may be delirious with a UTI which gives people huge mood swings and personality changes. She may have early dementia, the addition ofma made up event lends towards this a little more perhaps..? My grandfather had this and made very similar comments about everyone from the nurses to his own children.

I really believe very few people are evil, i.e. in good health and in good mind, do terrible acts with full knowledge and appreciation of the consequences. That American university serial killer comes to mind, people like Manson do not, he was clearly ill and damaged due to a hurrendous childhood.

Sorry, going back to you, people live long lives now and due to the notoriety of 'heart attacks' we now have great heart drugs, as we can keep peoples hearts going longer we are now seeing huge numbers with brain pathology, dementia being the biggest by far.

im sure your grandmother loves you very much, from your account, perhaps its not quite 100% your grandmother anymore. It doesnt make it easier, but it may explain it for you and remove any ill intent?

Snare x

Left in the Cold

I'm very sorry, LouBelle, that you were hurt.

PaintedToeNail

LouBelle, I'm so sorry that your grandmother has made these accusations against you. Your actions towards your uncle were very loving and kind. Hopefully your family will realise that grandma is deluding herself.

Violia

Loubelle,

both my Gran's got a little senile. They'd accuse folks of stealing and often misinterpreted things. Older folks frequently think folks are stealing money from them.

I am so sorry this happened to you as you sound like you did everything you could for your uncle. Has a jws been talking to your Gran ? Maybe someone is influencing her.

still thinking

((((Loubelle))) I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I hope it IS because of some medical condition with your gran. Otherwise it is a very difficult thing to come to terms with.

LouBelle

is she suffering from an early onset of dimensia? perhaps - the will she spoke of wasn't really a will, it came down to words, as in the end my uncle had nothing physical to give and i wasn't left out. i guess i will monitor gran and time and comments will tell.

thanks for the kind words.

i know my reaction to it was initially very emotional. do i believe she is evil / bad? no. bitter, angry - yes. do i judge my deeds as good. no. they were necessary and someone needed to stand up, step in and get certain jobs done. i chose to do that.

anyway - at this time of my life i don't need to hear stuff like that.

thank you again for your kind words. this forum is really a haven.

Black Sheep

Sorry to hear that happened to you LouBelle.

I've seen something very similar with an elderly JW with dementia, so I know how terrible it is. Gutting for the whole family. At least the accused had the support of the family. I hope your family supports you.

((((LouBell))))

Chris

So utterly hurt.