Hello everyone

Strawberryfieldsforever

I haven't talked in quite a while here, but feel the need to talk now. I have been trying to get on with my life without Jehovah's Witnesses and my Mom. Just to let you know briefly about me......I was pretty much raised a JW by my Mom. She never let me know my Dad because he was "worldly" and was going to die soon. She always told me that if I didn't listen to her, I would die right along with him.....my husband and I left the JW's about 22 years ago. I finally had a beautiful relationship with my Dad!! We both talked about how our lives were so different from others because of my Mom's religion. My Dad never reached out to me because he thought I would reject his love. My Mom always was the wall between us. When they got divorced 13 years ago....I felt like a little girl with her Dad again....how I loved my Dad!

I just lost my Dad a few months ago. I am now alone without a parent. My Mom showed such interest in me after my Dad died. I felt like she loved me again.....she even helped me by flying out while I had him at home with hospice. I thought maybe she loved me more than that crazy cult she is lost in..

Now most of the communication has stopped. I didn't understand why....but maybe deep inside I did. I see now that the new WT (Jan) has helped put a stop to family communicating with family members. I wish I could shake her or slap her or anything for her to come out of this daze the cult has put her in. If I try to say anything about JW's she gets this blank stare in her eyes. It's like my words hit her like a ping pong ball and the ball quickly bounces back at me.

Thank you for listening. I feel better just talking to you all that understand. I wish there was something I could do to get my Mom back into my life, but I know nothing will work. Strawberryfieldsforever

happy@last

So sorry to hear of your loss(es), try and hold onto the nice memories, even if they are shortlived

perfect1

At a certain age you realize your parents are just people.

I am now alone without a parent. My Mom showed such interest in me after my Dad died. I felt like she loved me again

This makes me feel like you are just waiting for your parent to notice you.

JW love is conditional, and assuming you are an adult, you have to move on and stop expecting or needing them to love you. I dont know how old you are, but add 20 years to you age, and imagine, do you want to be that old waiting for mom to validate you and love you.

Thats what I have seen my own mother do, trying to secure love she will never get from her own family. Its sad at any age, but once a person hits middle age it is absolutely pathetic. Try to find love elsewhere. Try loving someone else first. Waiting to receive love is a guarantee for disappointment.

ruderedhead

Sorry for your pain, Strawberry. As happy@last and perfect1 said, hold onto the nice memories, but please move on. Your Mom is brainwashed by this high control religion, and it has affected your life enough already. You have others in your life who love you and who you love. Let that be your focus, and be happy. By continuing to hope for your Mom's approval, you allow the WT to have some control over YOUR life. Regroup, and place your focus elsewhere on things that you can control. I am sure your Mom loves you, she is just brainwashed. Life is short, enjoy it!

nancy drew

Welcome

You'll find understanding here

BabaYaga

Hi, Strawberry Fields... it's nice to see you again.

First of all, so very sorry for the loss of your Dad. Thank goodness you had that time to heal and have some wonderful years with him!

As for your Mom, I am sorry about that, too. Yes, unfortunately, most JW love is conditional (the WT dictators demand it.)

Do what you can to heal and move on... and in the meantime, yes, we do understand, all too well.

Love,
Baba.

00DAD

SFF, that's a very poignant story you told.

I was encouraged that at least for awhile you were able to have a beautitul relationship with your dad.

Please don't give up hope on your mom, she is a victim (albeit a willing one) of WT Cult Mind Control.

You're right about the affect that the WT has on people. I was having some renewed communication with one of my family members but when the 4/15/12 WT came out with the Loyalty to Jehovah means no communication with DF'd family members routine it all stopped.

Let's review: It's a cult!

LisaRose

What you have to realize is that most JWs are conflicted about shunning. Your mom does love you (as best she can) but the brainwashing makes her feel she must shun you. She does want to see you, but feels guilty about it. She probably felt she had a legitimate reason to help out when your dad died, so she could see you without feeling guilty, which I'm sure she wants to do. Now that the crisis is past, she is back to the usual shun. That is the stupidity that is the whole JW shunning policy. The WTBTS has kind of gone back and forth with their views in how mean they expect their members to be, although lately it seems they have gotten tougher, emailing is even out now. So it seems how each JWs shuns depends on so many factors it's impossible to keep track.

My sister took to shunning me, but I called to get my brothers phone number and we ended up talking for a long time. Then she sent me an email saying she could talk to me, maybe "once in a while". I decided enough is enough, I won't talk to her again. Its crazy making, not know how stupid she wants to be from day to day. I'm not going to beg for crumbs, it's easier to just cut off all contact on my end. I have decided enough is enough I won't even go to her funeral,if it comes to that. I'm not angry, but enough is enough.

Emma

The others are right; you'll probably never be able to have a relationship with her. When you do talk, don't mention any of what you know to be true about the borg or how you feel. It'll shut her right down.

You won't be able to get her out. If you can talk with her by leaving beliefs out, you might be able to have a limited relationship with her.

Lozhasleft

It's so sad to hear about your mother putting the WTBS before you, especially following the loss of your dad. Take some consolation that its not personal really, she's in a cult which has taken over her priorities and manipulated her natural affection. It's really tragic. It might be thought provoking to suggest to her that you can't be a part of a religion that divides families this way?

I have lost many loved ones, it's been very painful so I do understand. I started from scratch literally and built up close friends gradually and am blessed by being part of my hubby's family, who are reallly loving and caring, now too. I have come to terms with my losses. The grief will always be there but I don't allow it to dominate the life I have left to live. In our circumstances it is possible to develop loving relationships with people who aren't blood relatives if we allow ourselves and them the chance, honestly. I've been careful not to let anyone to get close to me unless I feel emotionally 'safe' with them, thus weeding out people with issues and agendas that might bring along abuse of any kind. That's a consequence of the WTBS conditional love deal I suppose. It has worked for me and could easily work for you? And what do you have to lose?

I do wish you well.

Loz x

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