by trapped28 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • trapped28
    As i write this,im aware of my heart hammering in my chest.Ok where shall i start,ill try to keep this as short as possible.Ive never been religious before in my life,the occasional wedding or funeral was the only time ive been in a church or viewed a bibles cover.In 2013 my step-dad was diagnosed with cancer and had to go for an operation to remove the tumor.I became close to his nephew and we communicated a lot and had a few strong feelings for each other,but neither of us told anyone,it was just harmless flirting and a few hugs that lasted a bit longer than normal.Two days after my dads operation,he died through complications,and my path of self destruct was set.My boss had also been sexually harassing me at work and i was unfairly dismissed and was told by my landlord that i was to pay the rent or be evicted.Then out of the blue my cousin tells me he was an unbaptised publisher (he was baptised at the aug convention last year)and to start having faith in god,that it would all work out.So i went to a kh and took up a study.That was a year ago and they now feel im ready to become a publisher.The thing is..i was made homless and am living with a jw of 50 years,a real spiritual person.These last two months ive been researching and i simply like you all disagree with so much of it.For the past twi weeks ive avoided meetings because of work,or pretended im at work and stayed away from the home i have with this witness.I cant afford to leave but at same time im being pushed to go into ministry and meetings.Guys what the hell am i going to do?im so trapped scared and i cant believe i wanted to get baptised!!my son lives with his dad and there trying to get a hold on him when he visits me!!
  • Finkelstein

    Sorry to hear of your unfortunate plight, my suggestion would to be lie low and put on an interested face to appeal to the JW your living with. Once your back on your feet financially, perhaps then you can make more of a move to leave the JWS and also get yourself reestablished.

    Take it calm and slow and put on fake smile if you have to, I'm sure everything will work out in the end.

    Good luck irregardless.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Try to put it all on hold the best you can. Say that you have some personal "doubts" and want to stop that ministry until you face those fully. I say to use the word "doubt" as it will automatically trigger them to make allowances for your delaying the ministry and the baptism.

    Don't offer details. Be firm. "I will do my research. You already taught me how to do that." You may have to continue going to the KH if you are so sure you are financially stuck. But really, they can't make you do more, no matter what they say. If they are still studying with you, cancel at the last minute or the morning of your study a few times, then say that you were dealing with something personal. If they get mad, suggest putting the study on hold for a few weeks (which could lead into much longer).

    Get yourself out of that financial bind. Work more, save more. Whatever you have to do. Find a different roommate who is a stranger or friend, but not a JW. After you leave that house, you don't have to bother with them. Drop them cold and say you worked out your doubts.

  • Crazyguy
    Tell them your reading the whole Bible and wish to finish before you get baptised. Then get busy getting your life in order with out the need for them. It's a cult so be careful what you say and do, act like your all in so they have no reason to freak out
  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot

    Welcome to the forum trapped.

    Have you considered a lawsuit against your former employer?

  • whathappened
    Lay low, keep acting humble, get out as soon as you can!
  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Wow!! Congratulations on

    a) coming here &

    b) waking up before you fell into the trap!

    As someone who's exiting fast, I can assure you that leaving now will be so much easier than trying to leave after you've become a publisher!

    Just tell the nosy ones who ask "what's wrong" when you don't conform to their requirements, that "you're having serious personal problems to deal with, but thanks for your concern".

    If they're ignorant and ask "what kind of problems", just repeat that they are "personal".

    Best wishes with your escape

  • rebel8

    dubs do have teachings that state parents are spiritually responsible for their own children, not others. So they need to butt out. Ask them who's responsible spiritually? When they answer you are, then say you will let them know if you need help, but for now you are making decisions for your own child.

    Then get the fark out of that house and away from that cult as fast as you can.

  • FayeDunaway

    Oh my god, I hear your anxiety!

    Did you find a new job, I hope? Save every single penny you make so you can stand on your own two feet. Move out, that is priority. If they are pressuring you to get baptized this summer, just tell them you aren't ready. How old is your son? He should be safe as long as he lives with his dad and is with them most of the time. Tell him to be polite but not pay too much attention when they start talking about religion to him. When you move out, be honest with this flirty step cousin of yours about how you feel about the religion. I know you feel trapped, but as soon as you move out, you won't be. And they can't make you get baptized. I know you feel guilty because you have to live off them now and they helped you a lot. But that isn't worth them sucking the life out of you. Stay in control.

    Much love.

  • stuckinarut2

    firstly , WELCOME!

    Sadly your situation sounds typical of the circumstances that many experience before becoming witnesses!

    So many are vulnerable and susceptible to high control groups like this who target ones going through tough times. The "kindness" etc seems so appealing. So too does the promises of a "perfect world" free of problems...

    Stay tough.....and keep researching the TRUTH.

    Love from us!

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