Can an inactive one be DFed?

by Eustace 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • ziddina
    ziddina

    Well, there is disassociation, but as Eustace mentioned above, that ALSO causes one to be "branded as an apostate"...

  • mind blown
    mind blown

    Yup....happened to me as well. I was also inactive but was snitched off by a JW who saw me smoking.... funny thing...I wasn't a regular smoker........BASTARDS.....but I refused to repent on their terms.....on a dime.....BASTARDS!

  • mind blown
    mind blown

    Sorry....double post.......

  • whiskeysweet
    whiskeysweet

    Eustace,

    Part of the reason JW's and the WTBTS is considered a cult is due to the fact that there is no 'honorable' way to leave the organization. Personally I feel that the word 'cult' has a great deal of stigma attached to it, but it's a quite a bit different from what the reasoning book has to say. One of the big earmarks is emotional control over an individual, including the disfellowshipping and subsequent shunning of former members of an organization.

    Because many elders within the organization will disfellowship 'faders' and inactive ones because of 'brazen conduct' it's kind of proof in the pudding that it is a destructive organization. Further, (and please don't think I'm trying to negate your very appropriate upset by me saying this) the simple fact that you are upset gives credence to the idea that the JW organization is a cult, as years later former cult members will deal with anxiety and upset caused by memories/contact with the cult.

    Steven Hassan in his BITE model of cults put this in under the Emotional control heading:

    d. Never a legitimate reason to leave. From the group’s perspective,
    people who leave are: “weak;” “undisciplined;”
    “unspiritual;” “worldly;” “brainwashed
    by family, counselors;” seduced by money, sex, rock and roll.

    If it becomes known that you're living a normal life (holidays, involvement in the community, etc) and the elders in your congregation are not some of the few liberals out there, they will disfellowship inactive ones.

    Honestly I don't know if I've been disfellowshipped yet. As a follow up question, perhaps, If I moved and changed my phone number, but still work in the 'territory' will I be visited and notified if I have been disfellowshipped?

    TL;DR:

    JW's are considered a destructive cult, elders can and will disfellowship because of policies.

  • DarioKehl
    DarioKehl

    I belive it's a matter of time before they make a policy to DF or preemptively shun faded or inactive ones. They can lump it under "brazen."

    Mark my words: In 2 year's time, we will see noo lite on this. They'll use that "rules, guidelines and principles" reasoning to invoke preshunning on anyone who's inactive more than 3-6 months. They'll put some kind of clause in it, of course, like: "Would it be wise for true christians to continue associating with fellow brothers and sisters who have become inactive or avoided congregation meetings after elders have made attempts to reach out to them?"

    It's just a matter of time. Our friends and family still inside will "apply" the new point and begin the snubbing. Or we may begin receiving a lot of "mom guilt emails" because they will have been encouraged to make one last attempt to get us reactivated. If we're not receptive, they'll be encouraged to treat us like "goats" or "weeds." Trust me. The GB will take things into their own hands and attempt a pre-judgment sorting and separating work. They'll have to. This fading thing is driving them crazy. With one or 2 powerful guilt trips in a WT article, they can issue a command and the R&F will react just like trained dobermans.

  • J. Hofer
    J. Hofer

    inactive ones are shunned by many JWs anyway - inactivity is almost as bad a stigma as being DFd. fading is mainly an option for people who still got family in that most possibly never will get out and don't want those ties cut. they can still hound you, but after a while they usually just leave it at that if you also leave them in peace. so no picketing halls if that's your thing.

  • jookbeard
    jookbeard

    tricky one really and a number of factors could have caused your Dfing first an over zealous CO could have made a visit and made a blanket decision to get all inactive ones off the books asap, secondly you could have been "snitched" making the most innocuous of statements about the "slave" etc, they may have made a half hearted effort to try and contact you to ascertain how you feel about things in the Borg etc and proceeded with a JC, a case like yourself could have been wrapped up in a matter of weeks. A Fade has to be a carefully thought out plan which involves very slowly disconnecting with the Cult, under no circumstances are negative comments to be made about the Group and on the contrary a full belief in the Group is still to be expressed, then of course the standard mental health problems have to be made known to any who have made any contact with you. The cheeky bastards from my cong caught me off guard with a speaker phone call , not that I care 19 years later.

  • TweetieBird
    TweetieBird

    "Mark my words: In 2 year's time, we will see noo lite on this. They'll use that "rules, guidelines and principles" reasoning to invoke preshunning on anyone who's inactive more than 3-6 months. They'll put some kind of clause in it, of course, like: "Would it be wise for true christians to continue associating with fellow brothers and sisters who have become inactive or avoided congregation meetings after elders have made attempts to reach out to them?"

    It's just a matter of time. Our friends and family still inside will "apply" the new point and begin the snubbing. Or we may begin receiving a lot of "mom guilt emails" because they will have been encouraged to make one last attempt to get us reactivated. If we're not receptive, they'll be encouraged to treat us like "goats" or "weeds." Trust me. The GB will take things into their own hands and attempt a pre-judgment sorting and separating work. They'll have to. This fading thing is driving them crazy. With one or 2 powerful guilt trips in a WT article, they can issue a command and the R&F will react just like trained dobermans."

    This has already happened in my family. We faded several years ago and my mother-in-law found out. She recently sent us a letter calling us apostates (since we have left the faith). The rest of her children and grandchildren pretty much won't have anything to do with us either and it's a very large family. Fortunately, we do not live near any of them. On my side, I only have 1 sister in and haven't heard from her in months.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Then what's the point of all this fading stuff people talk about?

    Fading is the process of being less and less noticed at the meetings and in recruiting until you can disappear from it entirely and quietly. It doesn't mean you can openly violate their rules. It is done so that JW family members can decide not to shun such a person. Some fade so successfully that they generally can do what they want, but blatent violations of JW rules might still get them the attention of the elders. Others have relatives that spy on them or elders that are just waiting for any reason whatsoever to DF them, so their fade isn't as complete.

    Fades fail sometimes, but it's often worth a try to give JW relatives an opportunity to maintain contact without feeling they are violating the rules.

  • mercedes_29
    mercedes_29

    My mother has been inactive for the past 5 years and she never stopped talking to me after I DA'd. She is shunned by the JWs when she sees them out in public. They see her and look the other way, except for Memorial season when they stop by and leave an invitation. She has never been asked to attend a JC nor has any elder contacted her about her "spirituality".

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