even if they are conditional friends
This is so true, and if you are an elder even more so. Kiss ass brothers and MS's love to be your "friend" until they leech on to a more prominent elder who can actually help then "reach out" lol. such bullshit.
Conversing With a Disfellowshipped Elder
by Quendi 26 Replies latest jw friends
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PaintedToeNail
Quendi-So very, very kind of you to reach out to him. He probably hasn't had a stimulating conversation regarding religion in years. About his wanting to be reinstated: As humans, we often long for things we no longer have, we remember the good old days, even if they were quite difficult. People pine for their lost teen years and/or salad days. Maybe that is what he is doing, rather than remembering the tedious meetings, the boring talks, getting ready to go the meetings and driving to the KH regardless of the weather. He's probably forgotten th chore that field service was, and only remembers the coffee, donuts.
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BluesBrother
Wow he's been out for nine years and still think it's the truth and wants to go back
I have known them be out for up to 20 years and still come back, never having lost their faith. They come back when circumstances permit. eg. first husband dies and they can marry the man they have lived with all this time, or something like that ....
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steve2
This man - out 9 years but still orbiting the Watchtower planet - sounds annoyingly familiar. It takes sheer guts and more than a little active-brain power to steer oneself away from the Watchtower orbit.
Good luck - he may inadvertently view you as a springboard for his return so that when he does return to his local congregation he can tell a wonderfully upbuilding experience to the JWs about the way an apostate - you - tried to manipulate him into staying out.
I can think of better uses of your time or, if you both decide to pursue mutual contact, you save yourself the task of trying to convince him planet Watchtower is not the truth.
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Black Sheep
If he could show me just one passage where these star chamber tactics were endorsed, I told him, I would humble myself and return to the meetings.
Great tactic, Quendi. I hope he busts a gut trying to save you.
Now if he is successful at getting reinstated, he will cut off communication with you and act like that conversation never happened. IMO you are just wasting your time and good common sense on someone who already knows the system is heavily flawed but is still willing to go back. I would not try to reach out to him again. I suggest you move on and don't look back, allow room for healthy, balanced individuals to come into your life. Sometimes stepping back and messing with those people who are still in or clinging to this dying organization is regression not progression for YOU!
Running interference for the bOrg, are we? Worried that the guy might actually get a life outside the cult if he investigates their protocols?
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00DAD
Quendi: I told him the entire judicial committee arrangement was unscriptural, that nowhere in the Bible could the Society’s procedures be found, outlined, or even hinted at.
Au contraire my friend:
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Wasanelder Once
I would definitely put some coleslaw on the agenda. Stay away from the ribs, salad is best.
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dreamgolfer
Dang, that is one sad puppy, and equally sad ending .
9 years and he wants "second helpings" dude must love torture, distrust and unfairness in the WURST way.
Yikes, and he still wants to party with you Quendi? you must have a magical touch or spirit about you.
best of luck on that one (shaking my head)
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MrDarkKnight
00Dad..the terms judicial hearing, disfellowshipping and reinstatement are not even in the Bible. The process is not described in the Bible. You cannot point to any scriptures or passages that outline from start to finish the process.
It a process contrived and perpetuated by men. Show me otherwise.
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steve2
Doesn't this thread provide an excellent example of how unknown numbers of disfellowshipped persons remain convinced that "it" is the truth. "Beat me, beat me, I've been a bad boy [or girl]" could be the catch-cry of so many "weak" JWs
In their guilt-ridden and fearful mental states they tell themselves - and any hapless soul good enough to listen - that "one day" they'll go back. I'm yawning already...
Sure, it looks "promising" that this person agreed to meet with you and seems to want more contact. Yes, it would be a shame just to confine the contact to coffee and a chat about the weather. Okay, it could be productive to try to persuade him that he needs to take off his rose-colored glasses about "the truth". But ultimately, Quendi, the combination of guilt + fear + disfellowshipped status = one sad puppy who will turn on you as quick as look at you if the circumstances require it. Just like its best to stay away from people still reeling from the effects of a bad marriage or relationship, guilty and fearful ex-JWs are appalling company.
I suggest decaffeinated coffee for him but the real thing for you.