Studying just for marriage ?

by Pitchess Co-Gen 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    Have you seen the divorce stats from the 2007 Pew study on religion and divorce rates, its on JW facts too.

    USA average for divorce is 12 %

    JW average for divorce is 14%

    A bit different to what they say in the literature and meetings.

  • NeverKnew
    NeverKnew

    Wordly here who's going through it now! :)

    Let's see, I was first told by my friend that HE couldn't study with me because of our genders. So I was passed off to some lady who had once pioneered by his relative's suggestion. I met my new study buddy (who, I realized, knew nothing of my relationship with him) prepared with my questions. I told her I needed to start with the history of the organization and proceeded to ask about the Armageddon prophecies of the early century. She knew nothing about 1914 being ONE of the original "A" dates. I then backed up to the 607 vs 587 query that supported 1914. She pulled out this yellow book and showed me that the topic I was asking about "was on page TWO FIFTEEEEEEEEEN," (that's exactly how she said it) and that I needed to "start in the beginning to understand Biblical concepts."

    "Do you want me to read this book this weekend?" I asked.

    "No, we have to read it together."

    "How long will it take us to get to page 215?" I demanded.

    "It depends. Some people catch on fast and get it instantly but others need much more time." <-- her facial expression

    Opening the book, she asked me to look at a picture of smiling folks at the beginning of the book and tell her how they made me feel. I told her I "felt" like the artist had a great imagination. "Isn't this the life you'd like to lead??? One with no pain, no sickness and happiness all around???" she asked incredulously. In my annoyance, I couldn't dignify her question with an answer. "Is this part of the reading?" I asked while turning the page. "Let's move on."

    WHY was the chapter I was forced to read asking me about questions of my religion (that I don't have) being left unanswered? ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

    After three sessions, she left me a voicemail telling me she would NOT be meeting with me any longer and calling me a faultfinder!?! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I HAD QUESTIONS! Is she allowed to leave me???

    I've also been introduced to an elder with a college degree who assured me he would return with answers to my questions as soon as he got a chance to get to the library to get the answer. That was 6 months ago. My friend and his JW relative have failed to answer my questions as well. I've since told my friend that the door to door efforts were incredibly disingenuous.

    From a wordly's perspective? They all look absolutely ridiculous.

    OH! And before someone warns me of my non-existent children's future... my body's factory is shut down. I went to a Presbyterian middle school, and Catholic high school and college. I am spritually, financially and emotionally secure. I really love him but WORRY NOT!

    The problem is, he's an absolute wreck. It's painful to watch.

    I pointed out

    1 Timothy 4:1-5

    "Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times, some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer."

    I thought he'd find freedom in that scripture but he got stuck at the descriptors of those who would be doing the forbidding. *sigh*

  • lil.lady.03
    lil.lady.03

    I know of the funniest story about studying just for mariage.

    “Friends” do things so that they look okay in the congregation, but they still do what they want.

    I know of a couple, who are actually getting married in next couple of weeks, they guy was df’d for the longest time and the girl was just beginning to study. He was a heart throb, bad boy with all the sisters. So many girls had a crush on him, but of course, he catches sight or new study girl and BAM! She starts studying even harder and suddenly he gets all “active” again.

    They were dating behind everybody’s back and trying to be all innocent when asked about it. Sad thing is, the girl was notorious about getting in brothers faces and flirting with them and jumping from brother to brother (sometimes brothers in the same family) trying to “hook-up" with them. She had a rep already even though she was a study.

    So when the guy started announcing she was his girlfriend, a lot of brothers were snickering behind his back about it. Even some of his own family memebers had run-ins with her. But the sad thing is, while she was studying and even after she got baptized, he cheated on her several times. There were girls snickering just as much... I guess they are made for each other. I can only imagine how long they’ll last.

  • Dark Fader
    Dark Fader

    I have a vivid recollection of a fleshly brother of a Mini-Servant who brought his worldly girlfriend into the borg this way. When I saw her come in the Hall that first Sunday I thought- WTH is she doing here as she was like "prom queen" hot! My wife and I befriended them both and became close. The girl had quite a colorful life which she shared in confidence with my wife (sexually active, smoking, drinking...). I knew of the crowd she ran with in high school and had carnal knowledge (actually saw her bare boobies but that's another story)!

    I think it's great when a couple shares a faith though it makes me sad to see lives and potential squandered in an organization such as the borg.

  • Pitchess Co-Gen
    Pitchess Co-Gen
    I have a vivid recollection of a fleshly brother of a Mini-Servant who brought his worldly girlfriend into the borg this way. When I saw her come in the Hall that first Sunday I thought- WTH is she doing here as she was like "prom queen" hot! My wife and I befriended them both and became close. The girl had quite a colorful life which she shared in confidence with my wife (sexually active, smoking, drinking...). I knew of the crowd she ran with in high school and had carnal knowledge (actually saw her bare boobies but that's another story)

    I noticed when brothers try to sneek a worldly women behind the back door, and those women where ethier 10-12 times better than the regular witness girls. I thought about doing the same thing when I was in .lol

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Well, I certainly was intrigued by the possibility in my younger days. I used to think a cute potential JW who's had a bit of 'worldly' on her was kind of an exciting possibility--they'd not be all uber-zealous and frigid like a born-in (boy was I wrong on that one). To be honest, I started dating my wife a few days shy of a year after she got baptized. I'd been watching her for awhile. Boy, did I catch heck for that! Ironically, now I'm the one on the outside and she's the loyal JW. How's that for spiritual maturity?

    --sd-7

  • DarthNihilus
    DarthNihilus

    wery funny stories. Here in our congregation we have some such stories so far. One of the "bro" ' s brought in a worldly girl, now they're married for 2-3 years. Another "sis" married a worldly boy, spread her legs for a "rich guy", was a so-freaking-active-pioneer-girl, now she comes only twice a year - when a D.O. comes and to the ... umm.... i don't know how it is called in English, the instead-of-the-Easter thing :) the third "sis" also learned the "Spread your legs" madskill and totally accidentally met a JW who was RICH and an ELDER, and 20 years older than her.

  • ziddina
    ziddina
    "They were dating behind everybody’s back and trying to be all innocent when asked about it. Sad thing is, the girl was notorious about getting in brothers faces and flirting with them and jumping from brother to brother (sometimes brothers in the same family) trying to “hook-up" with them. She had a rep already even though she was a study.
    So when the guy started announcing she was his girlfriend, a lot of brothers were snickering behind his back about it. Even some of his own family memebers had run-ins with her. But the sad thing is, while she was studying and even after she got baptized, he cheated on her several times. There were girls snickering just as much... I guess they are made for each other. I can only imagine how long they’ll last. ..." lilJady

    Oh, that is hilarious!!!

    Who knows? Maybe their marriage will last longer - or be better WHILE it lasts - than many another JW mating...

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    When I was growing up, I saw this many times. In fact, one gal, who was a 'pioneer', married a fella who was divorced, and had custody of the children. He was a 'study', and became baptized - then they started dating - and later on got married. Personally, I think that the gal settled, as she didn't have a high self-esteem. Poor woman, had to raise this fellas little children. But - folks do what they do.

    I also remember when I was looking at gals to date, in one KH, there were several young ladies that were daughters to the 'elders'. They were pretty much 'nose in the air' kinds of gals... or at least to me they were. They were nice and all, I guess... just weren't looking my direction. Any way, they turned up 'on reproof', and pregnant. Within a few weeks or months, they were married to fellas who weren't even JWs. Oh - but they were all of a sudden 'studying', and later got baptized. Whatever works, I suppose. The fellas were nice guys, and never were really considered as 'elder' material... but that was then. Years ago. Today, they probably run the place.

    I know, personally, no JW gal wanted anything to do with me - or so it appeared. Any gal that I was interested in 'just wanted to be friends'. So, I found a friend in a gal that wasn't a JW, and we started dating. Poor gal. I was really messed up as a JW. She eventually started 'studying' with a JW woman - just to please me. I won't repeat my story here... I posted the details on this forum - years ago (in 4 parts). Needless to say, we didn't get married... but came close.

    So... yeah... it happens. It isn't anyones' fault... it's just a result of the kookoo religion/cult.

    Regards,

    Jim TX

  • Pitchess Co-Gen
    Pitchess Co-Gen

    I had to bump this thread because of more stories .

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