Encounter with two elders last night

by sd-7 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    I realized recently that this was the start of a new service year (read: Fi$cal Year), so of course I figured it was possible the elders would make their usual rounds and show up uninvited. It hadn't occurred to me that they would approach me as I was picking up my family from the meeting last night.

    As I was getting my daughter situated, the chairman of my judicial committee says, "Hey!" and starts coming around the car with a second elder in tow. I ignore him at first, knowing that it is that time of year again for him to search for the one lost sheep, you know, the one he could care less about the rest of the year? But he actually speaks again, and I look at him. He asks if it would be okay to pay me a visit. "For what?" I ask. "Why?" It's all very confusing to me. Did he doze off during the judicial committee that he was chairman of, the one where he was loudly calling for my head behind closed doors? Did he forget last year's uninvited visit in which I explained that I simply do not agree with what is being taught at the Kingdom Hall?

    His response? "We like to visit disfellowshipped ones to see if they would like to serve God." Unless he thinks I'm extraordinarily dense, or is really just that full of himself, surely he has to know that when I asked, "Why?" I was not asking for the canned explanation he just gave me last year that I am already well aware of. The real question is, why would you continue to call on someone who is convinced--and has affirmed under the already-carried-out-threat of expulsion--that Jehovah's Witnesses do not have the true religion? I'm not just a guy sitting at home thinking oh, I'm unworthy to serve God again! I wish the elders would call on me and rub eyesalve in my eyes so that I can see again!

    A number of colorful responses fly through my mind and I can't seem to settle on any of them, simply remembering that this sentence he just said includes loaded language and black-and-white thinking. And didn't Christianity do away with these physical entities that we have to go through in order to commune with God? Well, there's no point in even picking it apart further, it's just b.s.

    I gave him a frown of annoyance, a 'you must be out of your mind' look, and tell him no, I don't want a visit. He says, "You're not interested right now?" "I'm not interested at all," I replied. "Okay. Take care," he says, and walks away.

    I guess the trauma of dealing with them is still there inside me even though the spell has been broken. It doesn't help to come home and see the Sparlock video on. Even so, they should consider doing a Blu-ray of that one--it actually looked pretty good on an HDTV . But this is part of the burden I've brought on myself, so...deal with it.

    My wife had a talk last night, so I guess maybe they were reminded of me after that. But geez, they must really be short on manpower to be repeatedly pursuing an avowed apostate who has gone so far as to post his picture and his first name on an apostate message board. Though of course I prefer the term 'freedom fighter'.

    Anyway, let me not drag this out too much longer. The thing that gets me about these guys is that they really won't leave people alone. It's like they want to drag out the spiritual abuse as long as possible. I have said NOTHING to you people. Go finish beating the rest of the sheep. Frak off. I guess they just think persistence will mean something, but I sense that for this chairman, it's a little more personal than that. I may be wrong. But he seems really convinced that I'm finding that there's nothing else out there and will come crawling back to spiritual elementary school to be spoon-fed again. After you've had true spiritual meat, and tasted of true freedom of mind, how can you ever want poisoned apple sauce again?

    The burden of carrying every decision myself, while still new and heavy, is one I continue to manage. Apart from times of reading the Bible and that one time I visited a Christadelphian church a couple of years ago, I've not been particularly religious. I put on my Christian hat to analyze or discuss issues, but that's it. It's become clear to me that the universe is quiet. If God is everybody's Father, I would expect more communication than a 2,000+ year old book subject to interpretation. So...we had our last talk as far as I'm concerned. And the last thing I want is to return to the JW circus and be abused further and deal with jerks and fair-weather friends. Why would I actually work that hard to be amongst people who could care less about me? It was stupid then, and it'd be even dumber now (not to say that I haven't been dumb a few dozen times in my life).

    Well, it was upsetting, so I just needed a vent a bit. But hopefully this means that next September, they won't be approaching me and that they'll finally get the hint and leave me alone. "Take thy beak from out my heart and take thy form from off my door!"

    Homer Simpson and the Raven

    --sd-7

  • cobaltcupcake
    cobaltcupcake

    It's all about them. They'd be bloodguilty if they didn't make the effort to save you from yourself.

    I moved 1000 miles away from my home congregation just to avoid that kind of stupidity.

    http://scottleblog.wordpress.com

    The Odd Life of Jehovah's Witnesses

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    It's like they want to drag out the spiritual abuse as long as possible.

    This is exactly what is taking place. The way it works is that once an extended period of time passes by you could be in a vulnerable mental state, regardless of how the past went down. A family member could have died, for example, and they could then attempt to use your emotions about it against you. Time creates new circumstance and they know that if they make rounds to "inactives" and "apostates" they just might run into a mentally weak person, which is when their process can go to work. The JW cult only preys on the weak. Their message cannot withstand even an ounce of personal integrity. I'm sorry they brought up old wounds, but it's understandable since they are a heartless organization run by soulless people.

    -Sab

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    How would they be bloodguilty? By their own rules, they rendered their (= God's) judgment two years ago. If anything, the only thing further efforts will do is put their own spirituality in jeopardy. The burden is on me at this point, I would think.

    But...it would be nice to move 1,000 miles away from here, I'll admit that. Too expensive, for one, too many JWs I know, for another. But I guess it's no big deal. Not the end of the world. See "Armageddon Hasn't Arrived" thread for details on that one.

    --sd-7

  • King Solomon
    King Solomon

    sd-7 said:

    My wife had a talk last night, so I guess maybe they were reminded of me after that.

    Yup, that's his likely motive, right there: your wife and kids.

    You clearly are a lost cause, but your wife and kids are considered at great risk in their minds, with a confirmed apostate living under the same roof.

    So he's not going thru the motions for HIS sake, but theirs. You know the implications of if they decide that you represent a threat to their spiritual safety...

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    I feel for you Bro, I find that in these sort of situations it is frustrating to me that I still cannot bring myself to be unkind to them, to point out to a f***wit that he is a F***wit could easily roll off the tongue, but how would I feel about myself after ?

    One day I am going to have the courage to ignore my natural nature an tell 'em like it is.

    I had an experience at work a few years ago, we always had a policy of being polite to customers no matter what the provocation, but one of my employees lost it and told a right wa*ker to "S*d off !".

    He came and told me straight away, just in case of complaint, I just laughed and said " How did it feel?" , he said it didn't feel as satisfying as he had always dreamed it would be to do it.

    I guess that will happen to me too, but soon I must just try it, telling the bald truth to a JW.

    I shall report back to JWN on how it went.

    Hang on in there bro. one day all your family will be out with you.

  • sd-7
    sd-7
    This is exactly what is taking place. The way it works is that once an extended period of time passes by you could be in a vulnerable mental state, regardless of how the past went down. A family member could have died, for example, and they could then attempt to use your emotions about it against you.

    Of course, Sab. But seriously? Did they think I wasn't training for the day we would cross swords again? They just don't know how deeply the fire burns inside me about what they did to me and what they're doing to so many others. There would be no circumstance in which I would invite them to my home. I barely want to look at their faces after the way things went down. So...I don't worry about them being able to pull that card, since I've lost all respect for them as spiritual authority figures. Perhaps they just don't realize that themselves. That's the only thing I can think of.

    --sd-7

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    Of course, Sab. But seriously? Did they think I wasn't training for the day we would cross swords again? They just don't know how deeply the fire burns inside me about what they did to me and what they're doing to so many others. There would be no circumstance in which I would invite them to my home. I barely want to look at their faces after the way things went down. So...I don't worry about them being able to pull that card, since I've lost all respect for them as spiritual authority figures. Perhaps they just don't realize that themselves. That's the only thing I can think of.

    They are looking at it from a statistical perspective. Simply enough time has passed and they are trying their luck. They don't have inflated expectations which is why they just went on their way when you showed more than an ounce of integrity. They pulled the slot machine lever and didn't win. If they keep pulling the slot eventually a circumstance will be just right and the programming will resurface restoring a drone to their hive. I agree with you it's maddening, but they don't see it that way. They saw a slight chance to indoctrinate simply because enough time had passed by. They are an organization of algorithms, not very "Christ-like."

    -Sab

  • sd-7
    sd-7
    Yup, that's his likely motive, right there: your wife and kids.
    You clearly are a lost cause, but your wife and kids are considered at great risk in their minds, with a confirmed apostate living under the same roof.
    So he's not going thru the motions for HIS sake, but theirs. You know the implications of if they decide that you represent a threat to their spiritual safety...

    So what, he's trying to protect them? Or lay the groundwork for the Mrs. if she wants to separate? She has to eat, and I'm the means to that end, so she's not going to do that. Unless she finds someone else, maybe. Or unless I really, really hound her about JW issues, which I do not out of respect for her right to believe what she wants. It may come up later as the kids get older, of course. But frankly, it would be a considerable relief if she departed on those terms, and would be entirely okay with me, except for the kids and all. And even they will shun me upon adulthood if they join up, so they can be sacrificed, too, in the long run. I'd prefer it otherwise, but that's how it is.

    Either way, blackmail is a tool he's already tried. Didn't work then, won't work now. Let them all do what they will. I'll continue to fight for freedom and do my best to treat them with honor.

    --sd-7

  • sd-7
    sd-7
    They are looking at it from a statistical perspective. Simply enough time has passed and they are trying their luck.

    Ah. Of course. Like visiting your old 'magazine route' to see how they're doing, right? Ha. Well, things have developed that eliminate the value of luck in this instance. You know, an accumulation of facts and all.

    --sd-7

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