by LDH 30 Replies latest jw friends
Eyes....oh, how I remember those cliques. Your congregation was not unique. When I was a teenager and finally got my driver's license, I can remember standing talking with several others after the meeting. A sister came up to the group and announced that Sister So-and-so is having a party Sunday evening, and everyone is invited.....then she looked at me and said, "except you."
Talk about feeling hurt.
Red, Eye, I can top that. LOL
There was a pioneer/elder couple (who of course were partially supported by my parents) in my home cong. The best way to describe what they had, was JW matchmaking parties.
Literally every young single 'spiritually strong' JW from all over the circuit was invited. This went on every Sunday for MONTHS. My sister and I (both of us are beautiful, please don't think I'm bragging) who were pioneers, were NEVER invited.
One Sunday I just got sick of the shit, knowing about the constant invitations that were never extended to us. So after the meeting (I was about 18) I had my (elder) dad take me to the supermarket, where I bought a huge sheet cake. Then we (my dad and I) stopped by their house. Of course, everyone I knew was outside playing some wholesome game like volleyball, lol. So we got out of the car, and I carried this huge cake right up to the Wife/Sister. I said, "I brought this cake for your party."
Her exact response? "I didn't invite you!" I said, very smugly at the ripe old age of 18, "I know Charlotte, you never invite me. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to be hospitable." And I gave her the cake and we turned around and left. All of my 'friends' were in shock, as was she.
My dad never said anything else about it, but you better believe he never 'loaned' them anymore money.
This type of person is the perfect example of someone who's a Witness because of the imagined power they get to have over others. When you take their power, they're left with nothing.
Wow, I would NEVER allow my daughter to associate with lame-brains. I want her to have a well-rounded group of friends. I would never want her association to be limited to people who believe the same thing as her about everything. So shallow.
At her age, 10, she is already able to discern who is a religous nut, and who is a good hearted person.
Thank Jehovah.
Oh no RHW!! :( That was so harsh of them!...man, talk about ice cold! brrrr. Wow and I thought the time I helped this one sister clean her entire house for the witness party she was having that night, and when her 7 year old daughter said "mommy, can Michelle <moi!> come?" and the sister said "No, she's not invited" was bad. OUCH!
And LDH!!! That is so cool what you did....My hero! It's so rare that people like that are actually put in their place. Your daughter is lucky to have such a brave mom :)
LDH,
You advice was well taken, but if you notice I put associates, because I can count my friends on one hand and still have a few fingers left.
And as you mentioned, other groups trying to convert me using the same tactic as the JW. I really have not found that to be the case, because I visit them because I really want to know how they worship. And yes, there are some who are just as fantical as the JW, but most of those types are usually ex-jw who are still practicing what they have learned.
And I am honest with my associates and friends about my background. I have spent my whole life living under pretense and fear of my associates, friends knowing how I really feel, while under the influence of the WT. So, if those who I'm around chose to use that against me, then they let me know then, that they are not for me. This is a lesson I wish I had known while under the JW influence, I would have spared myself alot of sleepless nights crying.
Happy to be Free (Me)
Eyes,
I don't think your KH was an isolated example. I experienced the same thing for many years. My girlfriend and I used to quote an OMC song line "if you are in you're in if your out your not".
It is really hurtful. When I finally moved seventeen years later the people at the KH were really nice. But it was too little too late.
TW
PriscaSo now that I'm inactive, I am very isolated in a social way. I have had to learn to develop friendships based on common interests and character, not just because they share the same religion. And that is a very hard thing to have to do as an adult. These people in the world have been doing it all their life, AND I'M LEARNING TO DO THIS AT THE AGE OF 30!!!! How warped is that????
*****
well stated indeed - i'm going thru the same thing
my wife on the other hand kept her nonjw friends
but i was the "Society Man" so i spent all my time with elders as best friends and now i can't even call these guys
all of my social activities for the most part were with either elders and their wives --my wife hated it -- smile
so now i must make all new friends- how sad at 38yrs of age
just my 2
JT
Trevor:
it took time to feel affection towards those who I had been brought up to view as worldlings who were about to be killied off.
######
Deeeeep!!!!! my man deep
so true i can recall it so well- knowing that soon they would die for laughing at me cause i could not eat the nasty pc of cake for someones birthday
it is truly good to be free
ray franz put it well in his book
no longer is it A BRO OR A WORLD PERSON
now it is simply a person
just my 2
JT
LDH
****8
You are one "COLD BLOODIED SISTA"
BUT i loved it esp when you dropped the cake off
YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!
JUST MY 2
jt
[QUOTE]trevor: It can be very difficult for those brought up as strict witnesses to learn to make friends with worldlings later in life. I left the JWS when I was 30 and it took time to feel affection towards those who I had been brought up to view as worldlings who were about to be killied off.
To cope with the idea that all your school friends or teachers ,for example, are going to die, one develops a sort of emotional wall between worldlings. After many years of only feeling affection for thr brothers and sisters it can take real effort and a desire to reverse this.
I do not believe that people 'fall out of 'the truth'' I think they have to climb out.
trevor
To Trevor,
I love the way you call people "worldlings", like they are aliens or something. ROLF!! I always had good friends and none of them were JW's. A lot of JW's get thrown out of this religion for something as stupid as smoking 2 cigs a day. Get a divorce on grounds of anything other than adultry and watch the sparks fly! Ask too many questions and you'll be out faster than you can snap your fingers. Sure I agree, some do climb out, and good for them! But, it's my opinion that the exjw's with the worse mental turmoil going on are those that were kicked out with little reason, but really can't give up on the dream. They are mad at the Borg but still love the religion and it's God. Logic is in great short supply. I feel sorriest for the children. They have no choice but to be a JW and growing up believing that the world will end soon is the cruelest part of all. This way or the highway! I am DF, and for me it means FREEDOM! Thank you BORG! P.S. How is your message board doing, "The pool of Sorrows"? Please post the url so I can come visit you. I always enjoy your posts! Later!
Hey Sabrina,
Nice to meet you. Welcome.
But, it's my opinion that the exjw's with the worse mental turmoil going on are those that were kicked out with little reason, but really can't give up on the dream (bold added)
I agree with the first part of your post. It's an obvious statement - people who have been severely wronged without decent reason make angry people - particularily when you take their families, reputations, jobs away from them. Very angry.
As for giving up the dream - at least we had a dream. Of course it's hard to give up, no worse than anyone who gives a good deal of their life for an ideal and finds it no better or worse than any other religion/government/movement.
waiting
