Tried to convince the JW's on my street I was possesed.

by Cagefighter 75 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cagefighter
    Cagefighter

    I took a walk down to the corner store to find something to help out my slight hangover from watching the Cowboys and my poker night. I made it half way down the block and there they were! Two older couples out door-to-door.

    They seemed to be having a pow-wow in front of a block of apartments. I guess someone was having a RV or something. I caught a glance from one of the sisters. I guess my disshelved look and dark sunglasses made me look a bit shady.

    I figured that some poor kid was only a couple days away from being drug out into the heat wearing wool suits for a miserable morning. I figured it was my duty to give their parents some good ol JW urban legend material for the car ride this weekend.

    I started looking at the ground and then the smile muttering "SPARLOCK!", then as I passed I got frantic, waving my arms and looking in the trees and bushes. "Sparlock, my master where have you gone". Then I just ran away screaming SPARLOCK MY MASTER... in a pitiful and anguished tone.

    After I got my coke and burrito, I came back. They were gone!

  • NomadSoul
    NomadSoul

    Hahaha Thanks for the laugh!

  • ldrnomo
    ldrnomo

    That's great, did you ever find Sparlock?

    I saw him up in the trees in my neighborhood last week

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    Sounds like a reasonable pastime.

  • Cagefighter
    Cagefighter

    I figured my other two options will be to engage them in conversation in sign language and then start asking questions like:

    "What does God think about Masturbation"

    OR----

    I can ask why God let's religious people hurt children. I could tell them my story of how I became mix-ed up in an innappropriate relationship as a young lad. When I told the people I trusted at my church about it, I was humiliated and scarred for the rest of my life. It pushed me into a life of sin, drugs, and poverty. When they ask which church, I will tell them: Kingdom Hall of JW's....

  • perfect1
    perfect1

    heehee cagefighter!

    How bout:

    " When God sees me masturbate, does it make him sad ? "

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    Good one CageFighter. Sparlock worked his magic once again!

    Perfect1: " When God sees me masturbate, does it make him sad ? "

    God apparently doesn't mind WATCHING you masturbate, he just doesn't want to HEAR about it!

  • Sparlock
    Sparlock

    You called?

  • Cagefighter
    Cagefighter

    Sparlock! I found you!

    I night a XXL size cape and hat express mailed to me ASAP. Must be hear by Sat Morning!

    -CF

  • Cagefighter
    Cagefighter

    FYI, on a serious note. I never advocate being mean or violent to JW's door-to-door like the famous Danny Hazard incident. For a lot of us, those could be our own family.

    However, I see nothing wrong with me childishly immature or throwing the occasionaly provactive question/statement at them.

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